How to deal with not getting closure?

Errantsquire · 2019-02-11T22:05:40+00:00

Women won't give you feedback, and they don't really know what's wrong because they're going off of feelings. Here's some of the typical turn offs though

Nice guy that isn't authentic/honest - be the good guy instead and don't take crap

Neediness - it sounds like you need things to happen to much, you need to view the relationship as we're on the same team instead of having a take take take mentality. Focusing on giving her good emotions will do a lot and being free of the outcome. Also live in abundance by talking to a lot of girls.

Leading - you need to lead her. Instead of asking would you want to do X or Y you say, "hey come over here and we'll do X!" She can still object and change things but for the most part you are leading the activity.

Self amusement and authenticity - don't worry about doing things specifically for her do what you want and speak in a way that you think something is funny. She will sense that and reflect your feelings. If you aren't authentic she will sense that also which will turn her off.

NightTripInsights · 2019-02-11T21:39:29+00:00

It seems you get clingy and develop feelings too quick, try to not do that

djdante · 2019-02-11T22:05:44+00:00

Hey bud, this is definitely one of those things you have to work on - the clingyness won't just impact your relationships wtih women either - Although it will come on most strongly with women - You'rue likely going to be sensitive to the motions and actions of friends as well. Things at work are going to get to you etc.

Understand that at it's core is often a self-value problem - You're trying to get it from the people around you very strongly (we all do it to a small degree) - When those people aren't giving us the value we want, then we try to 'control' the situation to squeeze the value out of them and that's what we call clingyness.

What you most need is a way to get your sense of self-value internally. You need to focus on getting your daily wins not from what others do or say, but from what you learn or experience... A day where you feel happy all day is a win, a day where you learn some really great info is a win, A day where you work your arse off without succumbing to being lazy is a win.

Odds are, instead you focus on all external wins, or almost all. A day when a friend gives you a compliment is a win, a day when you get good grades is a win etc. The less you focus on teh externally generated wins, the more internally your self-esteem can be generated.

Obviously we all enjoy external wins - Like a girl having the hots on us, or good grades, or a pay raise at work. But the healthiest of us focus most intently on our personal internal wins.

Kenic_In_MD · 2019-02-11T21:41:03+00:00

Being concerned on not getting closure is a lesson on insecurity. Sometimes that door stays cracked open. It's annoying but don't get up to close it or else you will come off as clingy/needy and lose any chance you had.

What went wrong?

It doesn't matter, something went wrong and now you move on. Thats how this game works.

ntipz011 · 2019-02-11T22:02:35+00:00

So my biggest problem with dating is I never am told what went wrong

Yeah that's why you get coaching usually. PM me if you're interested in that.

I'm not sure what you mean by "closure". I interpret it as if you said "closer" as it sounds funny in my mind.
So one question, are you even trying to fuck the girls you're going on dates with ?

Title	How to deal with not getting closure?
Author	Jakewadewood
Upvotes	3
Comments	9
Date	February 11, 2019 9:33 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aplbwc/how_to_deal_with_not_getting_closure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-deal-with-not-getting-closure.1462242 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462242

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