I attract a certain type

djdante · 2019-02-14T21:22:37+00:00

Hey man, this is completely normal - EVEREYONE ends up with this situation.

The truth is, that we all attract reflections of what we have going on internally. It's like a red rag to a bull.

So, have you ever wondered how some girls keep managing to find men who beat on them? While others seem to keep managing to find sweet guys to date? It's not actually the way they choose women, it's the way women choose them.

For example, I'm like a beacon to sassy outspoken south american women. BUT 3 years ago I got REALLY sick. When I was on the mend I was still pretty fragile emotionally. Suddenly every woman I met was unacnnily a nurse or a psychologist, or someone involved in a job where they had to help people all day long. I Wasn't looking for these women, but I just seemed to attract them everywhere I went.

The women you attract will start to change dramatically as you work on who you are and work through your stuff. IT will happen organically.

TooMuchEverything23 · 2019-02-14T21:11:05+00:00

Unfortunately, this is most likely to be about looks. Some men have a "dad" look. You can PM me if you want some personalized advice on that :)

imtheoneimmortal · 2019-02-14T21:34:48+00:00

It depends on your standard, some months ago i attracted girls who smoke weed and drink a lot (not energetic one) but lately things are changing, it's good you understand that

ImJustSo · 2019-02-14T22:27:58+00:00

The type you're describing is all based on your perceptions of those types. Personally, I disagree. I think teachers and nurses are "well-to-do" types, sure, but they want dick just like other girls want dick.

Girls that put "not here for hookups" are full of shit, first of all. What you need to read that as is, "Don't be a fuckin creep and social idiot and you'll get some pussy."

They're not saying they don't want to hook up, they're saying they don't want you to ask and they don't want you to be sleazy or make them feel slutty for sucking your dick.

deviantkink · 2019-02-15T01:40:18+00:00

I'm a woman here to give you our secrets ;)

First off, while some women might mean it when they say "no hookups," it's more of a vetting measure than anything. Tons of women are for FWB's situations. What we're NOT down for generally is feeling pressured into sex immediately, dickpics without knowing you first, or to hookup once and then to get ghosted.

I've had ONS's before when I was drunk and horny. But I prefer a small rotation of people I know for FWB's situations vs ONS's. The sex is usually better, I feel more comfortable, it's consistent. I like that.

The type you think you're not "attracting" rarely exists. Most women aren't just gonna come over and fuck you without meeting you first. Most women want to establish chemistry and rapport before fucking.

JustCuriousbutNice · 2019-02-14T22:19:05+00:00

A few that had been raped young (as a minor) and had severe trust issues.

More than 2 that were committed to a mental institution.

2 that were adopted and had a host of issues, usually related to abandonment.

1 that attempted suicide.

Couple of gold diggers looking for a hubby. Although when you hit about 30ish most women are looking for a hubby.

Most were crazy in one way or another, usually the sex gets better with the crazier they got (although I have been told that putting your dick in crazy isn't a good idea, I've had mixed results).

Not sure what it is. I think it's that I'm a "nice guy" but also an "asshole", also I have my life together (job, house, car) or at least did when I was dating (married now). I have no filter and love sex, but I'm not sex driven. I have no problem telling people what I really think. Not afraid to say I love tits more than ass. Or she's fat in that dress (I wouldn't be a complete dick, I'd offer advice on what fits and what doesn't. Not in a super flamboyant way, but enough to be a little questionable).

Sorry if this came off as kind of a rant. I guess we all kind of have a type that we are naturally drawn too. I think the crazies like me because I am easy to talk to and think in a way that relates to them? Perhaps the type that are after you appeal to qualities they like for whatever reason.

I have to say though, I had one ex that was very inexperienced with sex. It took a while, but she opened up and became somewhat of a good fuck. I think it was just that they didn't know what to do and needed "training". She was also a 9 or 10 in my book. She was open to anything really, just didn't know.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-02-15T02:58:51+00:00

1

Looking back, most of the girls I've dated or hookup with IRL have coincidentally been teachers, nurses, psychology majors--nurture based--usually from decent families and not what you would consider sexy, promiscuous or hot, but pretty-ish good-to-do types.

This speaks to whatever your own personal baggage happens to be. You'd have more to say about this, really, than anyone else here. Especially since you've skated over the context of how you meet these women and how it all comes together.

But off-hand, if you're attracting women who are more relationship oriented, then you're either actually wanting a real relationship, or you're accidentally sending signals that you are. Since you have supplied nothing other than the end results here, it's impossible to say. You'd have to lay out an exact situation in great, great detail to give us close to enough information to make a judgement call on.

2

On Bumble and Tinder I always match with girls that have "not here for hookups" or the Relationship box checked in their bios, while my bio is a specific sexual reference.

Right. And here, what you're seeing on the apps, is not so much about you, but about the desperation of the women involved. It's not about YOU, it's about people who are so desperate for a relationship, that they're just hoping you're lying on your profile, simply not reading your profile, or hoping that you can be converted into a serious prospect.

3

My ONS have been girls of this type that got drunk and decided to give in to temptation for a night.

To clarify here, women who do this, have a need they're wanting to fulfill, LONG before they get drunk. They want to have sex, before they go out. They get drunk in this situation, to give themselves cover, to have an excuse for what happened. "Giving in to temptation," is them doing what they wanted to already.

And if they had to get drunk first, then they have the competing need for a relationship that they're trying to ignore.

4

I only matched with one girl on Tinder who was immediately DTF and she flaked.

I mean, if she flaked, then she really wasn't DTF. Saying one is DTF and then not fucking, is a bit of a contradiction.

It was someone there who wanted the attention or the excitement of roleplaying that they would meet someone that quickly for a fuck. But ultimately, they never intended the follow through, or the lead up was bungled by yourself. Hard to know which it was, without a transcript of the conversation.

5

I've had FWB's in the past, but these were also good girls who eventually wanted something more. Does this happen to anyone else? Maybe I'm just being too nice and sweet instead of showing my sexual interest and dominance. Or I'm completely overthinking it.

You're probably accidentally contributing to the confusion here. Most men accidentally fall into certain habits in dating. (James Marshall describes it for like 30 seconds from the point the video link drops you into the video.) It's common for guys to make the mistake of saying what they want and not having follow through or consistency. Like a guy who says he wants casual sex and then starts unintentionally encouraging the girl to develop feelings. Some common ways guys encourage a girl to develop feelings:

Holding hands
Cuddling tenderly after sex
Meeting her friends
Introducing her to your friends
Reserving a particular day or time for her
Seeing her more than once every 8 days
Engaging in tender gestures or words
Any number of things that are reserved for BFs and GFs

A lot of guys want to try to have their cake and eat it, too, but being realistic means facing that you can't just bang girls while accidentally treating them like GFs. Even if you TELL her it's just sex, if your actions don't match, well........ actions speak louder than words and if the girl is being given mixed messages, she'll sometimes choose the one she likes and that won't always match the words.

Aeon199 · 2019-02-15T06:12:25+00:00

but I'm also not a total loser

You think you wouldn't have met any of the women you met, if you WERE a loser?

Guys without higher education, careers, and so on, can still meet decent women, etc.

charlais · 2019-02-14T20:48:42+00:00

Yeah I have a way with the nursing majors in particular. Dunno why, maybe they talk hehe

Title	I attract a certain type
Author	skatinislife446
Upvotes	18
Comments	27
Date	February 14, 2019 8:09 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/aqo0fw/i_attract_a_certain_type/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-attract-a-certain-type.1462447 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462447

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