Is this an appropriate way to approach in college?

obviousyak · 2019-02-21T15:41:09+00:00

It will definitely help your confidence by asking her. To be fair, I wouldn't say dinner that is a lot for the first time hanging out outside of school shit. Grab some coffee or ice cream or some shit. "Hey, x I enjoyed talking to you last class or whatever, we should grab some coffee and continue our conversation." You'll know by her reaction if shes digging it or not, then get the number.

dailymanup · 2019-02-21T16:22:44+00:00

If you see her regularly, which it sounds like you do, a direct approach can lead to awkwardness if it doesn't work out. To avoid that, add her to your social circle. Here's an article on the College Approach which demonstrates.

rmmjnh · 2019-02-21T18:10:34+00:00

Like others have mentioned, don't treat this as a cold approach as it is not a cold approach. This is much more social circle. Just invite her out to a party, escalate, isolate and close :)

Just have fun with her, do not come on and say will you come for dinner or something crazy like that when you are more or less considered social circle comrades (same studies makes you fall into that category.)

blockfuture · 2019-02-21T19:59:17+00:00

Don't ask her to dinner off the bat. You can definitely get her to do dinner for a first date but you have to put the idea out there across multiple messages. You'd be better off talking to her after class and during the convo casually ask her to come with you to get a coffee then and there. Say something like "if you are not in a hurry right now, you should come with me to starbucks. There is a starbucks (or whatever is close) just around the corner (or wherever it is), I was just about to get a quick coffee" This makes it casual and doesn't hang pressure on her answering yes. If it goes well at coffee, you can ask her for her number and suggest hanging out again.

Uraveragefanboi77 · 2019-02-21T20:59:15+00:00

Just approach her after class and say: “Hey, do you want to do(insert something specific) at (specific time and date)”

The more specific you are, the less chance nothing will turn out happening.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-02-22T03:03:47+00:00

1

I'm an 18 year old guy currently at college. I've developed a great social life here, meeting many great people, joining clubs, and joining a fraternity.

What sort of clubs are you in?
What sorts of events do you participate in?

2

My only gripe, however, is I have zero interaction with girls. It's not on purpose, I've just realized that all of my friends are guys and I've only hooked up with 1 girl this entire year.

You say, zero, but you did hook up with one girl. That's not zero, that's you erasing history in your own mind.

Sure you'd like more action NOW, but realize that there's a reason you only JUST realized the current situation; apparently you were fine with things the way they were all year.

It's only now that your needs have shifted a bit, that you're discontent and realizing the lack of female interaction. So now you'll figure this out.

No worries.

3

This has just become apparent to me and so I am doing my best to change it. There is a cute girl in one of my classes. I've sat next to her and we've chatted here and there and been partner on some in class assignments, so we're not total strangers but obviously not very close. My question is would it be a good idea to approach her after class and blatantly ask her out to dinner?

Dinner is a bit formal as a first time one on one thing.

You talk with her and work on things for class with her, right? It's easy to pull a lunch out of that, even if you're both busy. If she wants to hang outside of class, that is.

It's also an easy matter to invite her to join you for a drink. If you have social circles beyond the frat, you could also invite her to join up when you're meeting those people. (If you mainly have the frat though, this would be a poor idea, because frats are notoriously not the best places to bring someone you're in the early phases of trying to date.)

4

My initial thought was to talk to her after class and basically just outright say that I think she's pretty and i was wondering if she would like to grab dinner. This may seem like nothing to many of the guys on r/seduction who do cold approaches all the time, but this would be the most bold approach I have tried.

This would be bold, but it would also be pretty much tone deaf and shooting yourself in the foot because you'd be basically giving up on some basic foundational things. Here are the issues with it:

Compliments are fine in some situations, IF you are able to attach them to something real about her. Simply saying she's pretty is basic.
Prefacing asking her out, with a compliment could unintentionally come off as if you're trying to somehow earn or buy your way in with unimaginative flattery.
Again, "grabbing dinner," comes off way too formal.
In general, starting off with something casual and more open ended than dinner, is better. It allows things to be more relaxed, free, and fun. And if it's going well, you'll both be up for extending the activity into something longer.
- Dessert
- Drinks
- Coffee
- Lunch.
It's a bit odd to just bust out a compliment and dinner invite, when you have interacted with this girl quite a bit by now. Presumably you've gotten her talking about herself enough that she's revealed preferences or personality enough that you must have some idea of something good besides dinner.

5

My question is, is this a good way to approach her and get her number? I am very new to this and so It feels awkward in my head, but at the same time it could work.

You're overcomplicating this.

If anyone has better advice for how to go about this.....

You've chatted enough with her that you ought to be able to:

Sit down next to her in class, chat etc.
Then get to the business of class because that's what you're there for.
Then after class, while walking her out, suggest something one on one
- Suggestion A: "I'm headed to blahblahblah for lunch now, want to join me?" That's right, pick the place and see if she wants to join. Don't come at her with vague nonsense about doing something, sometime, maybe, perhaps.
  - If she's interested or curious at least, she'll say yes or seem legitimately bummed if she can't.
- Suggestion B: Reference something she's brought up before, that could relate to a one on one meet.
  - Like grabbing dessert, drinks, or trying a place that's good at a particular kind of food.
  - Or maybe going to a certain event, one that you could grab drinks or dessert before.
- Suggestion C: What ObviousYak said.

SuitableFisherman · 2019-02-22T03:09:01+00:00

OP, avoid making comments about her looks as you ask her out, as it will get her guard up immediately and may make her distrustful of you (insofar as she interprets your looks-based compliment as an indication that all you are really interested in is sex, rather than being interested in her as a person). Since you have informally hung out, its a great opportunity to emphasize how cool you think she is, and how much of a good impression you have of her from what you know of her. And yeah, like everyone else said, don't ever do dinner on the first date. Like, for her sake and yours (I did dinner a couple times and learned its a terrible idea for first dates because if you don't like the girl you are stuck there for a long ass time and also its $$).

Honestly, I wonder what other people think about the "asking out someone in your class" thing, because it is a risk to the extent that, upon rejection, you will have to see that person X amount of times a week. My initial thoughts are that the approach must be super super light and friendly (as all asks should be, really).

Title	Is this an appropriate way to approach in college?
Author	chronic_couchlock
Upvotes	17
Comments	13
Date	February 21, 2019 3:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/at48sw/is_this_an_appropriate_way_to_approach_in_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-this-an-appropriate-way-to-approach-in-college.1462908 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462908

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