Hello, all.

I am currently in a very big pile of shit. This is a long read. I'm sorry I don't know how to format this so it's a giant wall of text for now.

Some background…

Used to be a full-on Blue Pill. Never had confidence with women and was overweight until late in high-school. As a result, I poured all my energy into my own pursuits. Once I got to college, I lost weight and learned I was thankfully blessed with good facial aesthetics. An ugly duckling type story. Except, I was still a full-on beta virgin; I couldn't close despite hooking up with several 8's, 9's, and 10's. Found out about seduction techniques and landed in a LTR of at least an 8 (9 IMO because of personal "unicorn" requirements). I was thrilled and thought that I had "won." I had no idea what I had signed up for.

Found out about TRP and implemented it with great success early. But of course, I was naive and rested on my laurels, thinking I had "mastered" TRP. Months later, I noticed patterns that I was in denial about the state of the relationship, DOVE into TRP and now feel as though I've done a great job of internalizing the factual information, but keeping it all as constants in my behavior is still a work in progress. I'm getting better at recognizing things everyday, however.

Looking back, I know for certain there WAS a time in my LTR where I was truly adhering to TRP principles, but had not actually become TRP and did not maintain it for longer than a month, at best. Accordingly, this was the best time in my relationship - she was just always looking to please me.

Since then, things fell by the wayside, and I've been in damage control since I "re-awoke."

A constant theme in our relationship was my not giving into saying "I love you" to her. It was always known where I stood, and though I made mistakes, she was always giving me great sex, so I didn't realize I let things go, because I was still facefucking her, and cumming on her face, in her mouth, etc. The complicated thing is that I know she had at least two odd sexual experiences as a very young child which some may say fall under the category "abuse", which I won't get into detail about out of respect for privacy. Point is, her sexual psychology MAY have been affected by this - if you have any insight, please share. I still maintain AWALT since I'm unsure of how this could have affected her.

Either way, when I used to command her during sex, it was never questioned, and she was always looking to please. Now, it's gotten to the point where she gives "soft no's" here and there and is generally not as eager to please as she used to be.

Even with these red flags, I know I've been doing a pretty good job - not perfect, at keeping frame and not giving into her shit. So, I was confused as to what I was doing wrong, and realized that I had ENTIRELY neglected dread game, because I had no idea what it was until about two weeks ago. Now, I had some built-in dread thanks to a few things which will come up shortly.

The thing is, and you can call me over-confident, but I believe I have a higher SMV than my LTR (reasons below ) and believe now, despite my best efforts at keeping frame, that her perception of my SMV has lowered because of my inability to keep constant dread.

Here is my breakdown of my perception of why my SMV is higher:

  • -genetically lucky with facial aesthetics
  • -Consistent IOI's from 8's and above wherever I go
  • -past hookup history with plenty of 9's and 10's
  • -musical and performance skills, as well as performance groups I'm a part of allow me to woo large crowds of women at a time, and this has always helped keep my LTR in check, as she sees for herself in person that I have an abundance of female interest
  • -I've worked hard my whole life and been able to accomplish a surprising amount in my life considering my age thanks to a great childhood from great parents and pursuing my own life goals until I was in college.

I don't mean to come off as arrogant, I just want to show you how I see it from my perspective. TRP is about internalizing yourself as high value, after all.

The problem is, while going into a mini-monk mode preparing for a still-upcoming major career project, I took hiatus from my performance opportunities, so I haven't had the advantage of those for a while, while still fucking up with frame along the way before shaping up. Now, every once and a while, we'd go out with a bunch of her female friends, and while drunk, they'd be dropping painfully obvious IOI's, which I know my LTR saw, because two of these times, she couldn't even wait to get home and took me into the bathroom of the place and sucked my dick.


HERE'S where it all went wrong - where I completely failed -- Warning: pathetically beta behavior below

I was stupid enough to try xanax from a friend, and without knowing you shouldn't drink, got completely shitfaced, and --I kid you not--- I PROPOSED TO HER. Literally the worst thing possible, I know. It was the last thing I wanted, even having succumbed to some other beta behaviors. Ream me all you want for this, but trust me, I KNOW how it was literally like chopping my balls off and putting them snugly in her purse. Oh and she didn't say yes because, obviously, I have been a beta in her eyes lately… So at this point my SMV has plummeted to her. Can I recover from a proposal? Is that the nail in the coffin?

I've been getting shit-tested constantly, which I've actually been able to handle well. What I didn't realize was that she was also giving me beta-bait pretty regularly, and once I found out what beta-bait was, I told myself "this is it. I'm going to run dread, and if I can't fix it soon, I'm gonna have to pull the plug and next her."

That being said, there are a number of reasons why I think this situation could still be an easy fix with dread game, that being said, I want to look at the situation objectively, and hear what people think I should do.

Why I think this could still be fixed:

  • -over the last couple weeks, my frame has been better-than-ever, and I've been passing shit tests with flying colors, and damage-controlling well when I slip up. She acts submissive and extra-feminine, but it doesn't last because....
  • I haven't CONSCIOUSLY run dread at all until now-- she isn't regularly seeing that other 8+ girls are still very much interested in me, at least superficially. I think this could be enough to help me flip the script
  • -I believe my SMV is still higher than hers, and dread will help her realize this
  • -I am ready and willing to walk away from this relationship, and I KNOW that she is still emotionally dependent on me in ways that would take a lot of writing to detail fully
  • -I took her v-card (some people here claim this is a big deal, I'd like to hear more, whether or not you agree)

Why I think it could be WORTH fixing:

  • -she had a great upbringing, and is as quality as girls can come (granted, I know I have little experience. Still, the good times in my relationship were incredible, and she's an engaging, fun and thoughtful person aside from her hypergamous nature)

  • -she meets all my important personal requirements in a "unicorn"

  • -as good an N count as you could hope for

Now, you may be asking "well chief, if you're so confident in your SMV, why don't you shut up and just next her and start spinning plates"

Wellll, you caught me: like I said earlier, I am very much still "transitioning" into TRP, and am by no means a player. Hell, I'm still with the girl who took my v-card!! What gives me confidence in my SMV is that I know it has very high POTENTIAL, but I have not internally met it yet, due in part to my complacency in my relationship, and my reluctance to try spinning plates, since the LTR is all I've known. Still, it's about how women perceive your SMV, and I think that outwardly perceived SMV is enough for dread to take effect. But again, correct me if I'm wrong.

I won't lie - I'm not good at cold approaches. They give me IOI's, I maintain frame, but I don't ever go for it. I know I need to change this. But I've gotten comfortable on relying on girls within my larger social circles for pussy. I'm not meeting my SMV potential BEHAVIOR-wise around strangers, but that doesn't stop me from feeling confident in it being high due to the IOI's I'm bombarded by. Also, I will admit I'm overly picky with women, and don't see anything below a 7 worth glancing at. I'd honestly rather watch porn than fuck a 6. Call me spoiled, I just don't see the point. That being said, if the best advice is to use lower-SMV girls as a starting point, then fuck it bring on the 6's. Would probably greatly improve my confidence with cold approach.


Anyway, getting back on track:

  • -is this LTR fixable?
  • -is it worth fixing?
  • -should I 'next' and find plates?
  • -find plates first, then next?

I'd like to know what you think. At this point, I am going to proceed with dread game because my instincts are telling me that the situation is not yet entirely doomed. She still commits to my frame, but then ends up exiting eventually after because (I think) of the current perception of disparity between our SMV's.

THE CURRENT SITUATION

I am currently in a phase of radio silence, have rejoined a performing group (opportunities to woo female crowds in front of LTR as well as being) filled with many attractive women who I know are attracted to me (endless IOI's plus two are former quasi-plates who I hooked up with but didn't care for even trying to bang). I've got promising new personal/career projects, and I'm lifting more and eating quite well to try and actively improve my SMV.

She has met my current (so far one day) of radio silence with several beta-bait texts. She's quite upset. It's amusing really. I'm ignoring her though. How do I proceed from here? According to what I've learned, I should be waiting for her to demonstrate apologetic/submissive/positive behavior until I give her any positive reinforcement.

I'm ready to drag the silence out to a 'soft next' if I need to. I've already begun preparing to jump ship, especially since I know the relationship won't last that long anyway, because she is graduating before me and it's just going to be unrealistic to maintain a good relationship even if she's relatively nearby. I'm gonna be busy with school, and she's going to be in an environment immediately surrounded by older, more accomplished men. I don't wanna even bother with that when I can spin college-age plates to my heart's content.

GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT. Call me on my bullshit if you see it. I'm done with denial, and am ready for objective truth. I can live with the mistakes I've made knowing that this is relationship has been a trial run for me, and that I have plenty of years ahead of me to pursue my goals and enjoy plates.

Thanks for reading.