What's your BEST starting question when just meeting someone for a date?

SimplyPhilip_ · 2019-04-12T14:38:43+00:00

One great question is, and you can make it suspenseful as well, like bring the tension up but with a smile so it’s coming from the right place. I say like “alright, let me ask you something. What’s your favorite thing to do in the world” always my dates will laugh and be like, I thought you were gonna get serious, then she’s loosened up and will talk about what she’s most passionate about. From there conversations just take off

Tfsr92 · 2019-04-12T15:47:08+00:00

I never wanted to get into a Q&A. That's the WORST. Instead I tried to make statements.

Example:

I went on a date a year ago (with my now gf) and I would make statements like "This place has the best margaritas." She would then respond. Once that conversation thread died down I would try another statement, "This is a really nice area, I usually like to blah blah blah." You get the point.

The idea is to define yourself with statements, this makes it more comfortable for him/her to relate to you.

digitalhomad · 2019-04-12T15:23:45+00:00

I like to ask, "If you could have any job in the world, but get paid your currently salary, what would it be?" I think it is a really interesting question. Is the person happy with their current job? Have they thought about their future? What are their passions? I think it is a great question to ask someone in general to get into a deep conversation past the small talk.

Pro Tip: Listen, understand, relate. Do not problem solve. You explaining to her how you can fix / solve her life problems will be a huge turn off.

jesspagan · 2019-04-12T15:48:15+00:00

I think the ‘tell me about yourself’ is the worst question just because the answer is too big to answer. Like do I start from the beginning of my life..? A better question is to ask ‘what do you love to do when you have a day off work?’ So they talk about their hobbies, what they’re really passions about.

wei53 · 2019-04-12T16:36:15+00:00

About your first paragraph, when they just stare at you after an answer: Comment on their answer with a statement and/or question (just don't always use a question after every one of these). Use more open ended questions. If it's a question that applies to both of you (like What's your favorite place to eat?) just say your answer to the same question even if she didn't asked back. Also, before you ask a question start with a statement and then make the question (ex: say some story about some cool place you went for drinks last week and then you ask her what's her favorite bar - this might give her the chance to make a comment on your story/statement)

Instead of opening with 'How was your day' start with something situational. Comment about the place/venue, ask if she's been there before or if she found the place easily, etc. and lead from there. Here you can also make comments, statements about her answers or something related to the situation, tell a funny story if you already know the place or about the answer she just gave you. This is a simple solution to start and not jump right into back and forth questioning. If you're already on a date, you don't have to start with crazy questions, you don't have to show your high value right away in a short period of time like you do in a cold approach. You already did some of that if you already scored a date.

Now getting into more interesting questions, I sometimes use 'qualifiers' ( What do you do for fun? What's your story? is also a good one, because usually people want to say/portray an interesting life) I also like to use some more thoughtful ones (What was the highlight of your week? Tell me something that made you smile this week?) These aren't very easy questions, so I wouldn't start with these. I'd ask them later in the date. Also be prepared to have an interesting answer if they ask it back to you (it's a thoughtful question for both) and in case they can't come up with a answer right away, say something like (Ok, I'll give you some time to think about it and then transition into your answer) OR (There must be something interesting/cool that happened to you this week - this is some sort of a qualifier as well).

bemore_ · 2019-04-12T16:49:51+00:00

"How's your day been", ironically is the best ice breaker. You want to keep it really simple. Maybe a bit of appreciation in there too, telling her you think she looks great today or whatever.

People grow up differently. Different backgrounds, education, culture etc. There's also the possibility of them not knowing what to do or say in the situation. If they don't ask the same question in return or open up, you can still answer your own question and also lead her to being more open by going there yourself first. For example, if you ask how her day went and she doesn't ask you back or just says "oh good and you", excuse the faux paus and tell her how your day has been anyway, in an open way (the way you want her to respond) and she will follow your lead in a bit.

Therefore a very basic conversation can turn into something all the time. It's just that where you have come from, conversations go certain ways which you're more/less familiar with

IDidReadTheSideBar · 2019-04-12T16:12:41+00:00

Hey, so I have a pretty serious question, you don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable, but what is your favorite type of dinosaur? Answer truthfully, cause I will judge"

Be serious in the beginning to build the suspense then smile at the end.

PoeiraDePoligno · 2019-04-12T17:31:28+00:00

You may enjoy reading this: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/7eu6gt/30_first_date_conversation_starters_that_will/

Some are really formal and kinda strange: If you’re in a team-working task, what role do you take on?

Some are really awesome and always good: Who is your favourite Disney villain?

And some are just average but still usable questions: What are you watching on Netflix right now?

As long as you switch some words to fit into the right context you'll be fine.

I've had dates where I ask them something about themselves, and they'll respond and just stare at me. Like, maybe, I don't know, ask me the same question in return?

This lack of manners/interest tilts me so fucking bad, probably my biggest pet peeve tbh

butwaittheresmoore89 · 2019-04-12T18:03:22+00:00

Ask her Are you fucking or sucking ?

ProudRamboBSNS · 2019-04-14T08:08:46+00:00

If you could be famous for having done something, what would you like to be famous for?

What cool things have you done recently?

broteinbowder · 2019-04-12T14:48:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	What's your BEST starting question when just meeting someone for a date?
Author	broteinbowder
Upvotes	14
Comments	24
Date	April 12, 2019 2:22 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bce4l1/whats_your_best_starting_question_when_just/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-your-best-starting-question-when-just.1466322 https://theredarchive.com/post/1466322

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