Why does it feel so "illegal" to approach a hot girl?

viki795 · 2019-08-10T10:52:51+00:00

Limiting belief. when you a approach a "hot girl" you might think oh wow she's higher status than anyone else here, while it's really nothing but physical appearance. Try perceive them in your mind as any other average girl and that feeling should be gone.

CouldntThinkOf1 · 2019-08-10T09:05:15+00:00

It's only weird if you make it weird

2019-08-10T10:28:14+00:00

It has to be the fear of rejection. Everything is primal though in the end. It’s like an animal who want to mate with a female. The female could reject the male or submit to it. Other times you’ll see two tigers fighting over a female lion. Whatever alpha wins gets to mate with the female lion. They also mark their territory.

PachymuNyet · 2019-08-10T13:16:29+00:00

Typical answer is that it goes back to the tribal days, where if an approach went badly, you may be ejected from the tribe and left to fend for yourself in the wilderness.

In a modern sense, it's against common etiquette -- not a "normal", usual thing to do. And done wrong, it can be very impolite. The irony is, you'll likely have to plow through some "impolite", uncomfortable (for everybody involved) interactions before you get good enough for it to be a positive thing.

Streak210 · 2019-08-10T13:50:32+00:00

3 things, lack of experience, social pressure and possible repercussions.

Pretend you need to use a circular saw to cut some wood.

However, you've never used one before, most of your life you're told they are dangerous and you should ask permission, and you know if things don't go well... You'll lose your hand.

Soon, your mind will start self_persevation.exe and racing with thoughts to keep you from harm.

"Do I really need to do this?"
"Maybe I should use it at a later time."
"It's a public saw anyway, not mine, I need permission."

Now let's switch this with a girl.

You've rarely approached girls.
Talking to random strangers without reason is frowned upon.
And if things don't go well... You'll end up embarrassed and possibly in jail.

Soon, your mind will start self_persevation.exe and racing with thoughts to keep you from harm.

"Do I really need to do this?"
"Maybe I should approach at a better time."
"I need permission to interrupt her day, she looks busy."
"What if she has a boyfriend, he comes back, beats me up and then arrest me and throw me in jail."

Your brain will do/think of anything to keep you from perceived harm.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-08-10T14:56:44+00:00

____1____

Could the approach anxiety some of us are experiencing actually be some kind of primal fear? ...... Long ago when we were still hunter-gatherers I am assuming there was a legitimate threat of being killed if you were trying to get with the women of the tribe since that was the alpha male's domain.

Seems like a pretty complicated theory to be reaching for when there's a simpler reasons available. (Occam's Razor)

Fear of rejection
For guys who haven't developed their social skills enough, there's often a sense of fear based on general lack of knowledge about what to do or how it works.
Some guys may have enough awareness to realize that something they're thinking of doing would be weird or awkward. Like it would either make them feel that way or they realize it would make the other party feel that way.
Not the least of which: The approach could easily lapse into an illegal situation if it goes wrong because the guy isn't calibrating. Nothing controversial here. Calibration is one of the basic foundational concepts of game and it's long been known that lack of it, leads to failure and/or bad things.

____2____

Side-note: There's no hard evidence that back then there were alpha males running everything, let alone one man claiming "the women."

That whole idea is based on research that was debunked a while ago.

All we can really do is theorize based on archeology, which is severe limits. Short of direct observation, it's impossible to reliably say how it really was.

And in any case, the desire to spitball about stuff so far in the past is likely just the "lizard brain" trying to grasp for a reason behind approach anxiety that is something we can't change.

Coming up with a theory that explains it like you're wanting to do, would take the power out of your hands because your lizard brain could then point to this and say, "A-ha! That's just the way we are because of yahda yahda yahda...."

AFL-NOEL · 2019-08-10T12:24:22+00:00

If I’m attracted to you I’m approaching.. I’m not attached to the results. I want them to know 1 thing, the very first time I had a chance to say something to them I did.. and if they’re receptive I’m trying to hang out w/ them as close to right now as possible (and always find out what they’re doing now for the possible instant date) If you do this w/ everyone you’re attracted to, then the ones who are most down will sort themselves out and because you’re being straightforward and at the same time always cool with them whether they’re down or not, (I try to always connect w/ them on social if they’re cool and the timing just wasn’t right, bf, etc) and regardless, for the rest of their life you’re the dude that had the cojones to approach the first time he had a chance to say hello. Here’s some new day game i put out yesterday in S beach Miami for inspiration.. sending you positive vibes bro! https://youtu.be/CCw3VacAidE

cash_grass_or_ass · 2019-08-10T13:27:46+00:00

You are putting the 🐱 on a pedestal, maybe because you are a "nice guy".

Don't be an incel in training.

Title	Why does it feel so "illegal" to approach a hot girl?
Author	jikol1906
Upvotes	42
Comments	25
Date	August 10, 2019 8:57 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cofqw2/why_does_it_feel_so_illegal_to_approach_a_hot_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-does-it-feel-so-illegal-to-approach-a-hot-girl.1475753 https://theredarchive.com/post/1475753

Comments