I hate that women intimidate me. How do I stop putting myself down and putting them on a pedestal?

BluepillProfessor · 2014-04-29T16:37:59+00:00

Understand how it works brother, then practice: That is all.

You are NOT actually "intimidated" by "the woman." When you see a hot girl you want to fuck and then approach her your sympathetic nervous system activates and FLOODS your body with adrenalin. You THINK those sweaty palms and racing heart are because you are afraid of the woman. THIS IS WRONG. You are NOT afraid. What you ARE doing unconsciously is being concerned that another male is going to swoop in and grab her from you. This is 'FIGHT OR FLIGHT' not fear of woman. That is just how you have been taught to interpret your feels. Your body is getting ready to fight for the right to fuck this woman with another cave-man. It is primal- but it is NOT 'fear.'

Seriously, what is she going to do? Kick your ass or drop a grenade in your lap? Pull out a gun and shoot you? She MAY be unpleasant. So..the..fuck...what! She is 'just' a woman. Your ancestors created...everything. They killed all the large mammals and then moved on to killing everybody else and fucking their women who suddenly bonded to you like there is no tomorrow! You descended from the victors. The mighty conquering heroes were your forefathers. YOU were forged in the stars. Every atom in your body was created by a Supernova Billions of years ago. Start acting like it!

Couple things beyond understanding that will help. Read TRP and get pissed off at women. I mean just get to the point where you think FUCK IT! These dirty whores aren't worth polishing my shoes. Then go out with THAT attitude. Also, try meditation to control your sympathetic nervous system response. Finally, just fucking ignore your feels and go for it. Think of it like phone sales. You don't get bummed out when somebody hangs up on you! You dial the next fucking number.

bicepsblastingstud · 2014-04-29T15:56:51+00:00

I have yet to meet a girl here around my age to accomplish half the shit I have.

Well, yeah. If that's what you're looking for, you're in for a rather unpleasant surprise.

I want to... take my rejections with a smile on my face.

This happens from practice. You need to go out there and get rejected -- smile be damned. The devil-may-care grin will come eventually.

imnotfunnyAMA · 2014-04-29T16:15:46+00:00

10//10 for ditching fatty.

FrogTrainer · 2014-04-29T15:46:38+00:00

Practice, practice, practice.

You sound like you already know exactly where you want to be, you just need to get the confidence you carry it through. Do the cold approach a thousand times. Practice spitting game on strippers if that helps.

Ya, all the internalized perceptions of yourself can be hard to change, it will take time, but you just gotta keep moving.

And this part is very important, 24 is YOUNG. Be very aware of oneitis.

FortunateBum · 2014-04-29T17:00:58+00:00

It might help you to ignore women for awhile. Work on yourself and reject the inevitable offer. Make sure to get the word out that you're not looking for a girlfriend at all. In fact, make that the first thing you say to women. Reject them first. Get yourself in the mindset that whatever they have, you don't want.

Do that for awhile and see if it helps.

Another thing that helps me is look for fault. Almost every woman has physical or psychological problems. Just look for any little thing and focus on it. Think about how that problem will get worse over the years.

Finally, most women look like shit naked. Without the bras, dresses, tight jeans, and makeup, most women look like a chubby 10-year-old boy. Ponder on that.

RedPill4LYF · 2014-04-29T22:09:53+00:00

It's really hard to get over the intimidation factor at first because of your upbringing and social conditioning to equate a woman's beauty to her value as a person. You just have to accept women are brutal judgy judgers that don't give any fucks about you if they don't find you attractive physically or see a use for you financially. Women are only interested in how you make them feel about themselves and care nothing about your feelings. This is why men are conditioned to be stoic. It's really easy to cut the intimidation out once you realize women don't love men the way men want to be loved. You'll see that there actually isn't any reason to want their approval, and therefore it won't even be a thing when interacting with them.

Stop caring if they find you attractive. Women have no idea what they want for the most part. Attraction is arbitrary in my experience with factors pertaining to self-improvement that will increase your odds. Women constantly hamster about what they find attractive, but are total hypocrites for alpha males.

What you need to do is make the switch in mentality from being the approval seeker to the man who needs to be convinced his approval is worth giving to women. You don't just want to settle for absolutely any woman that gives you attention because bitches are crazy. It makes sense that you should be the selective party since you are the prize. Other than her vagina, a woman typically has nothing else to bring to the table, and without solid evidence, you have no idea how much cock she has chugged before she met you. So, in other words, don't be anxious to get laid just because boobs.

Seeking approval is instant betafication. If any attraction exists, you will immediately cease to be attractive in a woman's eyes the moment you indicate you're nervous what she thinks about you. It's a passive shit-test that you only pass by not caring.

Don't be afraid to ask women pointed honest questions about their histories with other men, how old they are, and pretty much anything else that you really want to know. Fuck'm if they don't want to be honest with you. A woman who gives you a hard time when you ask direct questions isn't going to have any respect for you regardless, so next them.

KidStrangelove · 2014-04-29T16:14:34+00:00

Hey man, first of all, congratulations on your self improvement, seriously - you deserve some praise for that.

Here's the thing dude - if you were brought up in today's world - you were brought up in an environment of the female imperative. There's just no way around it - from birth we were all taught, for lack of a better term - "men bad, women good". This, combined with what we see on TV - always putting women on a pedestal, "courting", etc, teaches us that we have to validate ourselves through women.

And - unfortunately, I see that in you.

While you're doing all of these great things - remember - do them for yourself. Do them because you really like doing them. That's it. Free yourself from this need for validation. I know it's quite a simple thing to say, and incredibly tough to accomplish - but actively seeking validation is poisoning you.

I read your posts and all I hear is "please please tell me that I'm doing good" - and if you're looking for that validation from women - I have some bad news man. Sure, you might get it. And it will give you a high. But you might also not get it, and it will give you an absurd low and you'll feel like shit. But what's lost in this whole thing is that you - validated or not, are still the same great person.

I wrote a blog post on this topic a while back - feel free to check it out - http://www.kidstrangelove.com/2014/01/28/what-is-love/

I wish you the best of luck brother - and this weekend - why don't you do something FOR yourself - BY yourself - see a movie, play some video games, read a book, whatever makes you feel good. You don't need other people telling you how to feel.

2014-04-29T22:27:43+00:00

Realize that they're not that hot without that 1lb of makeup. 2 layers of spanx, and that push up the brah with stuffers

Visimicus · 2014-04-29T19:06:18+00:00

Austenite here. Just go to Ego's and do some karaoke. If you are in shape, well off and a genuinely cool guy, add some social lubricant (alcohol) and stage time. Should get some results. Just need to practice being alpha which requires putting yourself into s ituations you wouldn't normally and becoming accustomed to being turned down.

jcrpta · 2014-04-29T19:59:13+00:00

Call me intuitive... but I'd hazard a guess that your experience with women is pretty thin on the ground compared to others your own age?

Personally, you know what I'd suggest?

Don't worry too much about all the plate spinning talk. You won't have the confidence for that. Concentrate on getting to know girls better; sooner or later you'll internalise the fact that ultimately, they're not the princesses they make out to be.

You will realise that women poop.

Once you've come to accept this, it'll be a lot easier to mentally drop the pedestal. There's, what, seven billion people on earth, half of them women? What's so special about any particular woman versus the others?

OldMuckyTerrahawk · 2014-04-29T22:57:14+00:00

Take this over to /r/asktrp

vengefully_yours · 2014-04-29T23:02:01+00:00

There is something you can use to change that. Its called self talk. Remember years ago on SNL there was a small bit about daily affirmations by Stewart Smalley? Believe it or not, that shit works. Don't look in a mirror and say 'gosh darn it, people like me' though it kinda works you need something slightly different.

When you see a hot girl, or hell even a five or a fat chick, and you realize your thoughts are self defeating, chide yourself just a little and say something along the lines of 'Bullshit, I'm better than she is, I have accomplished more already than she ever will.' One of mine is my general attitude. "I have the cookie" everyone wants the cookie, and I have it. I don't share my cookies with just anyone, she has to earn it.

Get it in your head, you are the prize, she is a decoration, distraction, and needs you far more than you need her. The way you get it in your head is telling yourself that over and over and over again. If you dwell on negative shit you will reap negative shit. Focus on the positives, and tell yourself positive shit, and you will becomes what you focus on. There is something to positive thinking, but it isn't magical feel good bullshit, its working toward your goals, realizing your worth and value, and not letting yourself be distracted nor dissuaded from realizing them.

What you tell yourself is everything. Tell yourself you have the cookie, and you will have it.

sexowlinyourwindow · 2014-04-29T23:34:57+00:00

https://wimminz.wordpress.com/ has done more for my frame of mind around women then anything else. No pedestal left standing. AWALT will be etched on your bones.

IllimitableMan · 2014-04-30T00:28:38+00:00

When I'm out and see a pretty girl it's like the last few years of my life never happened and I'm the fat unattractive person I once was. I just think shitty thoughts and put myself down. I tell myself they must be better than me because they just look attractive.

The problem here, and you are not alone with this, I see it in the faces and demeanor of many men, is that you don't believe in your own worth despite all your accomplishments. You were seriously damaged in your childhood by negative social feedback loops in the form of negative and positive punishment (operant conditioning) what you need to do is cultivate narcissism, there are, in my opinion, two main types of narcissism, delusional esoteric narcissism which is narcissism in the truest sense of the word "I am the best because I believe in myself" and then there is rational narcissism, which is saying "I can do X, most people can't do X, therefore, I am superior to most people"

Your story made me think of the stereotypical fat chick who was bullied all throughout high school and nobody would date her, people would make bets and dare each other to kiss her or ask her out on a date for money, now she's 25, she's lost the weight, developed some nice titties and has gone from a 4-5 to a solid 8. The people who once made her life hell now all want to fuck her. Despite how far she's come, she's still got the mindset of a fat and ugly 4-5 high school girl. She's come a long way in life physically and in terms of resources, but mentally she's still trapped in her former self. She hasn't let go of who she used to be and embraced who she has become, so effectively she is two people, outwardly she is this cute 25 year old that's achieving in life, inwardly she's this self-deprecating high-school girl. Her problem is she hasn't learnt to love herself in spite of her achievements, she's still insecure and doesn't believe she's worthy of happiness.

Confidence is the epitome of masculinity, boldness, confidence, some aggression and solid rationale are some of the fundamental cornerstones of masculinity. If you want to be a masculine man and succeed in life you need to value yourself and get your mind out of that ignored socially dysfunctional kids head and get it into the head of the young, successful career man that works out, makes money and contributes value to the world.

If you don't love yourself, nobody else will. You have to remember that. People avoid unlucky/low value people, if you don't value yourself you project to the world that you're not valuable, even if you are. You could be a billionaire with the body of Adonis himself and if you acted all mopey, had incredibly limiting beliefs and were too inert, too timid to take part in things, then you would find that unless people knew about your money somehow that your social value would be quite low, because despite high smv from money and aesthetics, you'd have virtually zero personality or game. Such a hypothetical billionaire is a beta bucks waiting to happen, waiting to be parasitised by someone more manipulative, with more ego, who knows the games better and sees you for what you are: vulnerable and easy to control. People like that prey on people like you.

As for cultivating narcissism? It's a truly complex process that is far more difficult to articulate than it is to do, and trust me, doing it is hard enough for most people (or otherwise everyone would enjoy high confidence.) I do have an earnest intention to write an article on the cultivation of narcissism but I hold myself to very high quality standards when I write and thus to get something out on the topic that will meet the tolerance threshold of my perfectionism whilst being equally useful to the reader will take quite some time. Sorry that I can't help you with anything more in-depth and profound until the time I manage to craft such a piece but hopefully I've put you in the right direction. You need to cultivate a rational narcissism, compare yourself to others and see what you do better than them, then praise yourself internally for being better than others at said things. Hopefully reading the red pill will assist in augmenting your self-awareness to allow your self-confidence to grow and be more in sync with who you are and what you've accomplished (which is rational), rather than what you feel you are because of the time you had growing up (which is a latent byproduct of emotional trauma/neglect/poor developmental socialisation and etc.)

mr_throwz · 2014-04-29T20:02:23+00:00

I'm going to assume you're in your mid 20's. See you make good money and you're a nice guy. So women are passing you over and saving you for when they hit the Wall and want a stable betabux dude.

Watermelon_Salesman · 2014-04-29T20:35:02+00:00

Women are skin sacks literally full of shit on the inside, just like any other person. They're way more disgusting than males. If you have a sincere female friend, ask her about female toilets. It's a literal shitstorm. They're pigs, really. Menstruation stinks, and almost all females have at some point of their life played with it, spreading their pussy blood on paper, mirrors or towels thinking it was great art.

Women are just like your hairy, stinky ass, farting, beer drinking buddies. They just go through a LOT of effort in hiding (and I do mean a LOT). Why us men are so desperate to fuck them is really puzzling.

sam_ba_lam · 2014-04-29T16:30:21+00:00

You workout, you can look after yourself, you have monetary value. These are aspects that women admire and to which men aspire. If that is a clear appraisal of your current circumstance then there is no problem.

Your problem appears to be psychological and outcome dependent. After all, if I'm doing all the X things, why isn't Y happening?

Bear in mind that TRP is not a set of rules to follow or edicts to obey. Perhaps you have unresolved trauma that prevents you from being the best you can be?

Waking The Tiger ~Peter Levine~

I am not a doctor.

chiweenies4life · 2014-04-29T16:40:26+00:00

*Be somewhat aloof *Learn how to genuinely enjoy the company of women *Use confident language (e.g., “lets go” vs “Want to go?)

2014-04-29T18:06:34+00:00

I used to be intimidated by women as well. Since finding RP I've grown tremendously. I suggest you continue reading the sub as it's importance cannot be stressed enough. I also suggest you practice what is taught here. The first time RP worked for me it was a HUGE ego boost. Knowing you're capable of something is half the battle.

P.S. I have found watching shows with alphas keeps me fueled. My newest series I've begun watching before bed is Boston Legal. Alan Shore and Denny Crane are a blast to watch. It's a very Red Pill show if you ask me.

FrostyGoingHisOwnWay · 2014-04-29T18:51:43+00:00

First reply nailed it as did several others, it's all about practice, all social interaction is...the people who have genuine confidence at things are people who have done them things enough and improved at them to KNOW they're good at them, objectively.

If you have low social interaction with women, you're going to have low confidence when in those situations, all you can really do is suck it up and go out there and meet people, interact, and accept that you'll get shot down a good few times like everyone else does, that's the cost of improvement.

fakepizza · 2014-04-29T16:49:00+00:00

You need to brutally increase your confidence, trial by fire style. Start going alone to nightclubs. Get drunk, dance, make a fool of yourself, but you have to start somewhere. Keep going to the gym. Avoid canned foods and canned beverages because they are lined with BPA, which is a synthetic estrogen. Stop watching TV, it is emasculating and damaging to your self esteem if you're a white male. If circumcised, wrap your dick in plastic wrap to reduce chafing, trust me on that one, I know it sounds odd, just try it.

abbw2000 · 2014-04-29T20:11:02+00:00

Check out real social dynamics, especially Tyler Durden and Julien (they're all over youtube).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdnYedTpToA http://youtu.be/JPCU03Dp8Zw?t=6m30s

SlickJamesBitch · 2014-04-29T18:43:00+00:00

You still see them as angels, they are animals with animal like desires, if you go to the zoo are you intimidated of what a chimp thinks of you if you were to whip you cock out and start meat-spinning? No.

Title	I hate that women intimidate me. How do I stop putting myself down and putting them on a pedestal?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	32
Comments	41
Date	April 29, 2014 3:35 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/24a7sm/i_hate_that_women_intimidate_me_how_do_i_stop/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-hate-that-women-intimidate-me-how-do-i-stop.14770 https://theredarchive.com/post/14770

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