Did I make the right move?

getyourlifeplease · 2019-09-09T09:29:57+00:00

You say you like her...but you stop having sex with her, then dont talk to her for awhile because you felt it was "just sex", she eventually reaches out to catch up, and YOU get in your feelings because she flirted with someone else? Do you NOT see how ironic all of that IS??????!!!! Yall arent together, and you rolled on her. So you kinda cant expect her to treat you like a priority when your actions clearly let her know she wasnt one to you either.

You then acted butthurt and announced you were leaving when the other guy started hitting on her - thus showing YOU were emotionally attached more then you are admitting. I fully agree that you should not allow yourself to be disrespected, but by not standing up t o this guy, or making any attempt to steer the girls attention back to YOU - you lost value points in her eyes.

offinthewoods10 · 2019-09-09T14:06:20+00:00

dude you played it perfect by leaving, if she actually likes you she will knock that shit off next time

KewlKid88 · 2019-09-09T12:40:34+00:00

Personally I think the best option would have been tk respond to her question honestly:

"howcome you haven't been messaging me recently?"

"Well I'm getting the impression you're only interested in sex, but I'm looking for something long-term"

This gives you with 2 outcomes: either she admits to only being interested in sex, or she tells you she's interested in a relationship as well. One outcome means you stop talking, the other means you start dating.

Anyway, I think what's happened is she's just kind of realised you've lost interest thus didn't mind flirting with the other guy, when you left she seemed surprised but didn't go with you or anything. At the end of the day, it's good to be optimistic, if you think she's only in it for sex, you're probably right and you're not missing out on much if she never texts you back.

calum-alex · 2019-09-09T14:32:32+00:00

You aren’t right or wrong I think it came down to a matter of personal decision. You know what you stand for and I think you handled it well. You are someone that is out with a girl and wants to be treated with some kind of decency, whether it’s a fling or a serious thing. It’s rude in general to be ignoring the person you’re out with, who does that? You know you’re out with somebody and you’re going to completely ignore them? Most of the time that’s not cool. Some people suggested she was “testing” I think that’s bullshit unless you like to be tested you don’t need to put up with being “tested”. Just shows who she is and what she stands for “testing” you. Others said you should of fought to keep that.. while everyone has their 2 cents to chip in. I think you know what you like and how you like it so you did what you had to. She wasted your time and $ by having you come out just so she could end the night entertaining a couple of dipshits?

cuckler-meeseeks · 2019-09-09T09:26:47+00:00

Depending on the situation I would of played it similar. If a girl disrespected me like that I would of told her to drop my number before I left but I honestly wouldnt let it get to that point.

If it was a quite setting, she invited me out, and I was fucking her already like the situation you described I would've played it more aggressively. You should of wittingly clowned the guy out if he was trying to break into your date and basically told him to fuck off in a way that embarrassed him. The girl would've followed your lead based on the investment you described that she originally had for you, and you would of both laughed at his expense later.

By allowing that guy to break into your date that girl lost respect for you. She shit tested you further by flirting back with him to see your response.

Hydr0Gh0st · 2019-09-09T12:39:51+00:00

I personally think that while he did make a horrible judgement call that if he was just that willing to let somebody else get the booty then he didn't really have feelings for her.
I'd fight over a piece of ass. Swigga da swooty boxing for tha booty

ChrisDarmount · 2019-09-09T15:12:10+00:00

I think when she asked you what was wrong, you should have told her straight up. It took a lot of courage for her to ask you out and then ask you that question. She had taken two steps forward in order to do that and that was your opening to move a step forward without being needy or losing value.

When you acted like nothing was wrong. It was too much nonchalance.

That’s the thing about all this advice from this community about being aloof with women and being the prize and not validating them and not letting them know you have feelings. The reason people say all that shit is cause most guys who have problems with women do all that shit too much. They need to dial it way back. But in reality, it follows a bell curve like just about everything else else. You can be too open and vulnerable with women. But you can also be too little.

paulvario11 · 2019-09-09T18:47:58+00:00

You had to tell him hey WTF DUDE she's with me what are blind? if he don't stop just punch him in his fucking face and leave!

he didn't respect you man that has nothing to do with her trust me because if he do respect you he wouldn't had the courage to flirt with her in front of you but for him you were too weak that's why you had to make him learn how to respect you there is no other way but a punch.

cydestiny · 2019-09-09T14:57:27+00:00

First off, you’re asking this because there’s some part of you that thinks it’s wrong, you’re seeking either people to convince you that you’re right or people to give you a counter solution.

To be frank, there’s no right or wrong, the important thing is to know what you really want from this relationship. You felt disrespected to the point that you think it’s not worth, leave and never look back, not even asking this stupid question. But since you asked, I believed thats not the case. You felt disrespected and angry at that particular moment but after calming down you realised maybe you’ve overreacted. If this is the case, let things cool and if she ever looked for you again or after some period you think is appropriate, tell her that you don’t like what she’s doing that night and probably a lot of other things but you won’t stop her from doing them because both of you are independent individuals. However, you would leave if you felt disrespected and you’re just being you, no hard feelings. Then you just let things play out. She will stay and change her behaviour else just leave.

TLDR be clear of what you want and not to be controlled by your emotions.

Hunter_hunts · 2019-09-09T18:54:32+00:00

Damn dude you’re so right lol

Turtles92 · 2019-09-09T19:38:09+00:00

I've been in your situation many times since i start approaching girls. I left them as you did. This not the best attitude if we want to get a girlfriend imho

Title	Did I make the right move?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	17
Comments	26
Date	September 9, 2019 8:38 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/d1o6b3/did_i_make_the_right_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/did-i-make-the-right-move.1478154 https://theredarchive.com/post/1478154

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