These last few months I have joined meet-up groups and classes on things I am interested in, and have found its easier to meet and connect with girls this way.

I read a great book called 'Models' by Mark Manson, and also an interview with a PUA guru called Sinn, and they both talk about how a guy can't necessarily meet the type of girl he wants in bars and nightclubs. Manson says he likes girls who travel a lot, and he goes to classes and events where he will meet people who travel. Sinn says he will tell his students to join classes like cooking classes because they will have better luck finding a girl who is compatible with them there.

I personally am starting to think that cold approach is great for practise. Once I saw a stunning blonde girl in a crop top. I approached her, and was able to keep the conversation going for 10 minutes. Unfortunately it did not go anywhere. But after an experience like that, it becomes a lot easier when I go to a meet-up group about something I am interested in where: 1) The girls there want to meet people and will approach guys there. 2) I share things in common with the girl.

Cold approach was great practise for me back in the day. It made it easier for me now when I attend meet-ups or classes (sometimes I go to acting, drawing, or dance classes, which I am passionate about and also has girls). Its like if you have to run a 3km marathon, and you used to run 5km marathons. The 3km marathon now becomes a lot easier.

But apart from that, I personally question how useful cold approaching is. I find it a lot, lot harder to get any results with it. And the odds of finding a girl I am compatible with is a lot lower.

Mark Manson talks in his book (on pg.160), that some people will say going to meet-up groups is "copping out", or "it's not really learning pick up or game". But he points out he can find girls who make him happy here who have shared experiences and values to him. He said his measure of success is not developing a "skill" in cold approaching, its finding girls he can be happy with.

The more I think about this, the more I realise he has a point. And it got me thinking that maybe there is too much of an obsession with cold approaching in pick-up.

I don't think cold approaching is completely useless, because it does improve one's confidence and ability to have a good first conversation. I have had girls I met in meet-ups or classes tell me I am really confident and good at talking to them. One girl even said she thinks I am lucky to be born with the ability to talk really well with people I just met (she doesn't realise I developed it through cold-approaching). So I think cold approaching has its benefits. But in terms of finding girls that fit into one's life, and making it easier to succeed, I can't help but think meet-up groups, etc are the way to go.

I have changed my game to 100% meet-ups groups, classes, etc; and 0 cold approaches. I was reluctant at first because the PUA community seems to be all about 100% cold-approaching, and I thought a community that is dedicated to men's success with girls will surely know the best way for it. But then I remembered that the PUA community is influenced and run by marketers that are all about selling products. Telling guys to figure out what they are passionate about and join meet-up groups for it, does not bring in money the way that selling a product called '7 Mistakes You Make When Cold Approaching' or 'Cold Approaching Is The Only Way To Meet Girls And This Book Will Teach You How'. It's rare to read stuff in the community by guys like Manson and Sinn where they take an objective, honest look at the situation (not motivated by selling products for profits), and tell it the way it is.

This is something I wish someone had told me when I first started my journey. I wasted a lot of time on cold approaching, with very little results. I think if someone is going to do cold-approaching to become more social, they should aim not to spend more than a few months doing cold approaches to develop a little skill, then switch to warm approaches.

I realize some people who read this post may not like it, and I'm not writing this post to upset anyone or create arguments. I'm writing this because I know there are people who need to read this. Cold approaching is not the way to go. Warm approaching through meet-up groups, classes, social circle (you can make friends with a few girls and guys in a meet-up group and build a social circle around that. Or sometimes you will make friends with one girl, and if she sees you as just a friend but still likes spending time with you, she will invite you out and introduce you to her other friends), etc is the most effective way.

A lot of guys in society don't even do warm approaches. They just sit at home not talking to people, or ask other guys to introduce them to girls without trying to meet girls on their own. So by doing warm approaches, you're still doing more than a lot of guys are. You don't have to go as far as cold approaching, which is a lot harder, gives a lot less results, and takes up too much time.

Don't be fooled by marketers trying to make a quick buck. Most 'gurus' have to tell you cold-approaching is the best and only way because they need to sell stuff. But it isn't. Think independently, trust your own experiences.