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smoothmax · 2019-10-09T18:59:37+00:00

I think Dad bods matter more on Tinder than IRL.

The key is going to be getting your mind in a calm state. I got some good tips from the book Emotional Intelligence.

One trick I got from somewhere is when you're talking to someone and you start to feel anxious, tell yourself in a firm, inner voice: Slow Down.

Another trick is to imagine going back in time to your younger self when you were experiencing stress. Pretend you are talking to your younger self and telling that self, whatever you needed to know at the time to feel calm and safe, but nobody told you. I gather this works because we all carry that scared, dumb kid inside of us and in times of stress the kid's maladapted responses come back to us. Calm down your inner kid.

Finally with attractive women in particular you should find "eye contact practice" vids on youtube. Watch them, look into the girl's eyes and practice losing your nervousness and tension. Feel her beauty and calmness in your body and welcome the happy, calm feeling you get.

yeahboiii28 · 2019-10-09T20:52:39+00:00

You put women on a pedestal, you’re telling yourself you have to have the best pickup line to start the introduction or else you’ll be forgotten in the haze of the billion other guys who walked up just to spit game. Stop treating them like they’re special and treat them like your homeboys, stop giving a fuck about whether they will like what you say or act. Going to the gym isn’t gonna give you confidence with women, women don’t give a shit about your body unless you have an attractive face to go along with it. You wanna gain confidence with women? Keep asking them out, you’ll eventually rub that awkwardness out and you’ll be a normal person and then you can show her the real you, not the you you’re trying to craft for them to like. Good luck.

axe122 · 2019-10-09T20:30:03+00:00

Do you have trouble with one on one situations with the hot girls or only when other people are around?

serpx · 2019-10-09T18:39:16+00:00

Quit thinking about yourself so much and think about them. Sounds harsh, it’s what slowed me down which is why I’m sharing. All I was thinking about is how I come across, if I say the right things, should I have got a haircut, etc.

Instead, think about how you can help them have a better day, have a laugh or smile, have them excited for something new in life, etc. Make it about them — everyone in this world is walking around with stress and fears, same with 9/10 women who seem like they have it all together.

Become more selfless, so you can get out of your head and connect with others

EDIT: Also, don’t expect to say things perfectly. Humans are imperfect. Make mistakes and know that no one really cares as much as you do. Have fun with it when you do screw up. Like there’s days I stutter and brain fart and I just straight up tell them “Yeah my brain broke. Have a great day!” and they just laugh and we live our lives.

spellbee231 · 2019-10-09T18:09:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	24
Date	October 9, 2019 5:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dfkn2n/i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1480784 https://theredarchive.com/post/1480784

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