Remember To Be Kind Towards Women

mydeardroogs · 2019-12-03T00:40:38+00:00

I remember watching a Ted talk with Adam Grant where he described the best type of employee a company could have. A disagreeable giver. Someone who has rough words, but kind actions. Someone willing to say the things that need to be said, sometimes cruelly, but then offer solutions and effort.

What I think women generally crave is a man somewhat like this. Someone decisive and perhaps blunt with his words and with conviction to acquiring
success in his life, but also gives his attentiveness and affection confidently and without hesitation. Someone who loves courageously.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-12-03T01:56:02+00:00

Here's the problem, and it's why we can end up having so much debate on this issue: A lot of things "work" in seduction.

People respond to different things. We can't say ALL women respond very well to warmth, etc. Some really don't. We've all known someone who is attracted to train wreck after train wreck. And many guys here will have already found out for themselves that they can get laid with a certain kind of person who is almost turned off by "nice" and "warmth." You're not going to convince anyone like that, that they need to be nice.

The question really is, what kind of interactions do you want?

Guys who are assholes tend to attract people who will put up with that sort of thing. Often manipulative girls with low self-esteem, who will drag them down over time, sometimes cumulatively between several different women that are dated.
Guys who are nice, but don't have healthy boundaries, tend to attract people who will take advantage of them and drag them down.
Guys who are confident and nice, with good boundaries, will tend to screen out a lot of shit and end up with healthier situations.

Woujo · 2019-12-03T03:05:25+00:00

To be nice, you need to understand the difference between the posture of "please" and "thanks."

Most guys are nice as a way of saying "please." Their niceness is a facade to get something they want ... usually sex, but could also be affection, an ego boost, status, etc.... When these guys act nice, and they don't get what they want, they get mad. That's the typical nice guy. Women are not interested in these guys because 1) they are fundamentally manipulative liars, 2) they put pressure on women to "pay them back" for their niceness, which women don't like, and 3) they are nice to people who don't deserve it, which makes them look beta.

The other posture is "thanks." A confident, "alpha" male is nice to others as a way of saying thanks for something that other person did. If a woman is pretty, friendly, fun, interesting, the posture of "thanks" is a way of showing your appreciation and gratitude. A man saying "thanks" does not want anything in return because he already got what he wanted. Women like guys saying "thanks" much more because 1) the guy saying thanks doesn't want anything, which means he is not pressuring you, 2) the guy is only saying thanks because you did something to deserve it, which makes you feel valuable, and 3) you can turn off the guys' niceness by simply stop doing things for him.

appmanga · 2019-12-02T22:06:34+00:00

Women value confidence and someone they can trust. Confident guys aren't afraid of being conscientious or polite. That doesn't make you a doormat, and the reaction you get when you hold a door open for a woman can tell you a lot about her mindset and how she values herself. Guys constantly claim they're looking for a window into the women they meet, but they throw away chances like this for the sake of being "beta". Don't be like that.

TranceAddict82 · 2019-12-03T15:29:29+00:00

Fuck that, be kind towards EVERYBODY.

jenkinsonfire · 2019-12-03T05:21:18+00:00

I’ve always wondered why “nice” seems to be the initial tendency. It would have been a lot easier to start off as not nice and work on niceness and stop at the perfect amount of niceness

J-D_M · 2019-12-02T22:12:40+00:00

Totally agree. Bad boy & girl should only come out after well into a solidly-developed romantic, Loving & Respectful relationship. After a great foundation is built, character understood, trust established, relaxed fun dates enjoyed together, and good positive romantic tension built up with ebb & flow, that's the time to begin to explore more.

botanicalroots · 2019-12-02T23:21:14+00:00

I Agree. However confidence is the winner. Some women enjoy being disrespected covertly, and are instantly suspicious of overly nice guys, spme Even despise them of.course.those women are bad in the head and like to.date the jerkiest.they find

DajuanKev · 2019-12-03T15:55:00+00:00

The "Bad boy" is really, just don't be too nice and to make things fun. The "bad boy" is abused, which I can understand if this is the reason the girls can't help it because they don't want a "perfect guy"

misterluca99 · 2019-12-02T22:54:18+00:00

women respond to mixed signals. guys that run hot and cold.

Title	Remember To Be Kind Towards Women
Author	abbehardy
Upvotes	61
Comments	19
Date	December 2, 2019 9:00 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e55fkt/remember_to_be_kind_towards_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/remember-to-be-kind-towards-women.1485216 https://theredarchive.com/post/1485216

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