How do you practice remaining calm?

SkorchZang · 2015-05-27T05:30:43+00:00

Pick up Tolle's little book "The Power of Now", it's basically tailor made for you and gives the answers of a lifetime to the exact question you face. There's a little basic knowledge you pick up, distinctions to make between yourself and your thoughts. As a way to understand the emotions that are bodily reactions to the thoughts. And then it's only a matter of practice to be the calmest guy in the room in any situation, no need for special enlightened asian genes or anything.

MeatCurtainRod · 2015-05-27T16:11:29+00:00

Mental training.

I need to premise this by first saying that it is hard for guys to do this until they reach about 25 years of age, due to their cerebral cortex being underdeveloped until then. But nothing is preventing you from starting early. You just need to work that part of the brain just like any particular muscle.

No one can tell you HOW to do this because you are going to need to figure this out for yourself. But people can tell you WHAT to do. The leading cause of why you feel this way is because you never really experienced what it means to fail. Contrary to popular belief, failing is a GOOD thing. Why you ask? Because now, you have indirectly developed a nasty habit, a fear of failing, so you self-defeat yourself. You stumble in life once, and you can't handle it.

You need to try things for yourself. If you face a project at home or at school, you need to work on it alone, finish it, and take ownership of the results. If you fail, try again and attack the issue from a new direction. Never give up. If you don't have any projects, then make one. If you have any hobbies, excel in it. Try a project you know will be hard, create a plan of attack, and execute until completion. If you are a computer guy, try building a computer from scratch. Or even better, step outside your bubble, and try building a desk from scratch, using good old lumber, plywood, screws and screwdrivers, wood glue, measuring tape and square measures, and levelers.

If you keep doing this, your life will be so much more fulfilling, because your brain can tackle life as it comes. This isn't 100% your fault because, as you already know, the world is catering to a very bad strategy of raising kids.

machimus · 2015-05-27T17:27:56+00:00

Wow, lots of good responses in this one, but I'll add mine too.

Seems to me you have some incorrect assumptions about things you can control. Your emotions seem to think that everything is falling apart when something doesn't go your way, but in reality everything will be more or less okay in the end. You need to have that little voice in your head that tells you this-too-shall-pass, and whatever you're upset about is not a big deal in the long run.

Zen is pretty good about dealing with things like this. If you go the meditation route, don't just blindly meditate, use these as focii:

I can't control everything, or anyone.
This is not as big of a deal as I thought.

Please try to internalize these points.

imgonnabethegreatest · 2015-05-27T05:34:00+00:00

Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.

[deleted] · 2015-05-27T12:01:57+00:00

As /u/imgonnabethegreatest said, meditate. Because after all, there have already been plenty of peer-reviewed studies that have been published concerning the mental health benefits of meditation.

On the other hand, you seem to be very aware of your body reactions, as opposed to my awareness of thoughts or emotions whenever something happens. This may indicate that you have the skill of self-awareness that is really, really necessary in being control of oneself. Either you have a highly developed sense of self-awareness, or that your physical reactions to situations are so severe it's hard to not notice.

I am not an advocate of taking up medicines, but if you so choose, please find a very VERY competent person, in my opinion, one whose patients have been OK but did not have to come to them for years.

Also, it might help for you to read Robert Greene and 50 Cent's The 50th Law, especially the section on Emotional Momentum in Chapter 4.

daygamer69 · 2015-05-27T08:04:00+00:00

It's important to get into a mindset where you are putting your actions into perspective. You have to realise it's never a big deal. This is a bit of an extreme (and terrible) example but I used to get really anxious walking around by myself in public, then the next day I browsed /r/watchpeopledie for a good two hours and when I went out without any worries.

Nailer27 · 2015-05-27T20:57:26+00:00

This sub has some golden advice.

bryanlharris · 2015-05-27T21:41:52+00:00

I used to be just like that.

Get your Vitamin D levels checked. You can go to a doc or a lab testing place like anylabtestnow.com. You could also get your cortisol checked.

I take some cod liver oil / butter blend every day because I work in a building with no windows. I think my mood has gotten a lot better.

I would look into Vitamin D, Vitamin A and magnesium.

Title	How do you practice remaining calm?
Author	DanielHo1992
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	May 27, 2015 5:14 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/37fazr/how_do_you_practice_remaining_calm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-practice-remaining-calm.149395 https://theredarchive.com/post/149395

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