With a girl I love to death who has been with 18 guys before me. I can't take it anymore, would love advice.

Rorta · 2015-06-01T17:24:34+00:00

I think like most people who ask questions like this, you know what the answer is. Even if you settle down and she's the perfect RPW, the fact she's slept with 18 guys and slept with her ex soon before you got together with her will always play on your mind. My advice would be to just leave, but its easier said than done and I think you know that leaving her is the right thing to do.

It serves as a really important lesson, not just to you but to others here that you should always screen a girl before dating her officially. I've had a plate on/off for two years now and she is very attractive with a high social status and people have often asked me why I don't just go out with her officially. She's heaps of fun, great lay and at face value is an ideal girlfriend. She even asked me out several times, both of which I turned down and the reason for doing so is that she's slept with too many guys for my liking. There are lots of other guys who would go out with her in a heartbeat, but I wouldn't because I know that if I did I could never trust her and it would always bother me, especially if (God forbid) I married her and we had kids.

I started to develop oneitis like symptoms for another girl I met recently, but she said a couple of things that are major red flags to me. While this girl again appears LTR material at first glance, these red flags mean that I am just going to walk away before I develop feelings of any real magnitude.

In short always screen before any relationship.

kingofpoplives · 2015-06-01T17:40:46+00:00

she has BPD

This is the biggest and reddest of all the red flags a girl can have.

I suggest you search the asktrp and main TRP forums to get an idea of what you are getting into with a BPD woman.

1NV0K3R · 2015-06-01T17:25:26+00:00

I'd next.

Because any girl who stays with a guy and "ends up having sex with him" will "end up having sex" with any guy.

prodigy2throw · 2015-06-01T17:28:04+00:00

It's a personal choice for you. Do you believe your dick game is REALLY better than the 18 she's had before?

I personally wouldn't be able to LTR a girl with such a high count but I've got different life experiences and opinions. Seems like you're not okay with her past history so use your gut and don't invest too much into this. Why lock down and commit to someone when 18 other guys didn't have to? Just doesn't make sense to me. If you're truly alpha and high smv you should try finding a better girl who didn't have so many dicks in her mouth.

You have to stop undervaluing your commitment. I would say keep her as a top plate if the sex is worth it but as an LTR, fuck no. All you'll ever think when fucking her is the 18 other dicks she fucked and whether she was more passionate with them or not.

fnordsnord · 2015-06-01T17:12:28+00:00

She can't change her past, only her present behavior and future behavior.

It is up to YOU to decide if you can or cannot deal with her history.

You don't say how old she is. For a woman in her 40's, 18 is not a bad lifetime N-count. For a 17-year-old, it's a giant screaming red flag. The fact that she was just supposed to be sheltering with her ex- and instead "ended up" sleeping with him is another red flag.

My assessment, given the limited facts: it may be possible to pair-bond with this one, but it not extremely likely. To NOT cohabit until you have been exclusive for 2 years. Do not marry until you have been exclusive for 5. Watch out for other red flags.

[deleted] · 2015-06-01T18:31:40+00:00

NO BPD girls. Many of them self-diagnose and are all too aware of their status of having BPD and what it allows them to get away with.

She may like you and you might have fun but she's not really LTR material man.

My (former) buddy married a girl with BPD. No man. Just no. An admitted number of 18 ( so actually > 18) and BPD = this girl is not emotionally ready to be in an LTR like you probably want.

NahDudeFkThat · 2015-06-01T19:01:21+00:00

She had broken up with her ex of 4 months a month before.

Hey man she sounds like a absolutely great investment and LTR/Wife material.

In the first two weeks of us talking and having sex, she went to stay with her ex for a few days when she was moving to a new place and ended up having sex with him. We put that under the rug since we werent officially 'together' at the time.

Oh okay, so you're her little cuckold.

A few months into it and I began to find out more and more about her sexual past (most of which has happened within the last 18+ months), including her having sex in public and things like that. She tells me shit like I'm the best she's ever been with and that she never enjoyed sex with anyone else really before she met me (hard to believe having been with 18 guys). Blames her past on having had poor self esteem (she has BPD).

She is telling you she is a certified slut and damaged "goods." You are still to this day wasting your time, resources and providing commitment for a slut who is a shameless slut/cheater. She doesn't respect you because you are pathetically committing to her and subconsciously despises you for settling for her.

The you have the audacity to actually state:

Am I delusional in thinking that I can make this work with her? I'm no BP guy, and she really is trying hard to be a RP women (she is not aware of this community) even letting me sleep around if it would make me feel better about her past but I don't want to give her that pain.

You are right, you aren't a blue pill guy. You're an omega faggot, if this troll post is any true.

Mods need to get these new trolls the fuck out of here.

MrStrong911 · 2015-06-01T19:52:09+00:00

The fact that you are posting here suggests you already know the RIGHT thing to do, which is to next her.

I've been in an almost identical situation (age, n count, how I felt about it at first) and trust me, this is not a relationship you want to keep if your gut instinct is screaming at you. I also know how hard it is to walk away from a hot girl who is providing you with regular sex, if you are not used to it.

Action plan for you:

Start hitting on as many girls as possible to raise your abundance.
Set yourself some goals, sporting, career, whatever. Focus all your energy on them which will stop you putting her on such a pedestal.
Lift 6 days a week if you're not doing already.
Cut contact with her.

Will suck at first but get you head down and don't invest any more of your future time in a girl with more red flags than China. She cheated on you FFS - with an ex. Girls only sleep with ex bfs after they break up if they are Alpha to them. Why deal with an Alpha Widow? That's just a death wish to your future sex life!

confusedguyno7 · 2015-06-01T17:10:47+00:00

I too have been here and am currently going through something similar (bad past, just not a lot of partners) and it's killing me inside.

Someone once told me, you have two options:

You can accept her past and move on

or

You can't, and you let her go

absolucion · 2015-06-01T17:56:26+00:00

Depends on you, dude. If it's just sex (which it doesn't sound like to me) then stick around and enjoy the ride. Otherwise, I would get the fuck out out. If a girl I'm seeing hints that she's going to see another guy, I just ghost. There are plenty of single women with significantly lower counts out there that don't go to their ex's house and "end up" sleeping with them. It isn't worth my time to deal with all that drama. More likely than not, that trip to her ex's house was premeditated.

zyk0s · 2015-06-01T18:04:50+00:00

We put that under the rug since we werent officially 'together' at the time.

I always chuckle when I hear that expression, "officially together". It's what women have invented to rationalize their sleeping around. Women who use that excuse are good for plates, where you can take back and twist that little status to your liking. For relationships, either she's ready to follow you to the depths of hell or you're the current sucker financing her life. I know you said you "love her to death", but you have to find a way to "unlove" her fast.

[deleted] · 2015-06-01T18:31:31+00:00

18 at 22? That's a slut if I've ever heard one. That's also probably an edited number. Bet she's not counting blowjobs in that number.

If she started having sex at 18, then she has averaged about 4 guys a year. Next.

Real8inchDong · 2015-06-02T06:49:02+00:00

Wow..This post really resonates with me. I'm almost in the exact situation. I've been with my girl for about 3 years now and she too had slept with her ex during the first couple weeks that we were seeing each other and at first like you, I didn't give a fuck because I thought she was going to be a plate but now that we've been together for so long it really bothers me from time to time. Especially since I've grown to love the chick.

I'm sure her notch count is decent as well but not overly gross. I kind of try to not think about it so much because all in all she really makes up for it in other areas in our relationship and she's been loyal to me as far as I know this whole time.

I would say just kind of always keep your eyes open because let's face it..your past really speaks a lot about how you conduct yourself. I have high hopes for our future and I think we can make it work and I think if you don't see any red flags from your chick give her a shot.

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