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[–]Woujo 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You should just be honest with him. Say "I want to fuck you but I don't want to have to initiate all the time. If you don't initiate with me it makes me feel unloved." And get an honest answer out of him.
If you can't just come out and say it like that you will have a bad time.
[–]Administrative-Tart2 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or maybe say “have sex” instead of “fuck”? Some people just find “fucking” too aggressive and hate when you use it in a relationship
[–]djh860 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s best to start early. Do something nice in the am for her. Then be helpful and complimentary later on. And when you feel like it slide in and give her a big hug. Look her in the eye and tell her how much you like her. Now the stage is set. Later on make your move.
[–]Marcioszka921 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep I agree but sadly I am the girl in this relationship. Can make the whole mood but always ends up on a treat for him. I don't mind doing smt for him but if I do it all the time I feel left out. Maybe I do smt wrong or he doesn't see that I have needs. I'm scared of being vocal about it bc my earlier partner always pushed me away when I tried start sex (he tried to dominate that field very strongly) and it rly got into my head. (I'm kinda good looking and that also makes my self esteem go to shitter, so it gets worse and worse)
[–]dave_spontani 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Hold on
Are you paralyzed or do you get paralized when things get more physical?
[–]Marcioszka921 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Get xD sorry posted that in a hurry
[–]dave_spontani 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same answer to how you deal with the unknown: Get more accustomed to it
When making out, pull her closer, let your hands go up and down her body, grab her hips, pull her closer...
Basically think of what you always wanted to do and do it. Always progress among suble sexual touches first, and then gauge whether she feels comfortable with them. After that, escalate to more risky touches (gently move from the hips to her ass), gently grab it, back to hips, see how she reacts, go back if she likes it, then move to the midriff, brush her breasts, see how she reacts....
Always find the line of comfort. If she keeps liking what you do, then continue with a more risky step right up to the point of foreplay -->start taking off some clothes, unbuckle some belts, start feeling down your path between her legs...
It's like driving a car and getting to 100km/h. You want the process to be smooth and quick, not feel the tremors in your seat when you change gears
Important: If you see that she doesn't like something, go back and try to keep to that line. You can try again after, but if she is not in the mood, do not over-push it.
And no means no
Good luck
[–]Schhwing 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Move into your body and act spontaneously
[–]KingCeddy24 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
be playful about it
if it doesn’t work
break up and move on to some who’ll make it easy
[–]MrNobody___ 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Is that an "We never had sex" or "We already had sex" problem?
Cause the first may imply she might not be ready to do it.
But the latter is she is already comfortable enough with you and the only thing you have to do is escalate it.
Do you have problems to initiate cuddling? Kissing? Hugging? Touching her butt in random places? Is that a problem related to only sex?
[–]Marcioszka921 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
We had sex it's normal but every time I try to start smt it ends only on foreplay for HIM bc I'm a girl ;) no problem with being close, only with provoking sex
[–]MrNobody___ 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Okay, the fact that you are a girl certanly change the perspective.
If you are able to give him head, I wouldn't say it's an you problem. It's a him problem, maybe he doesn't like to give head or think you're giving him a treat or maybe his libido is lower than yours.
Have you guys talked about your expectations when you're giving him head? "I feel frustrated when I give you head and you don't retribute it". Never start an argument with "You're a piece of shit that never retribute my head"
If you guys use condoms, giving him one before starting the head is probably enough to imply you guys are having sex. Getting naked before the head might help too.
Or you could just tell him you want to have sex right now.
There is a recommended book in this community called: "No More Mr Nice Guy" and it's basically about guys that do thing with expectations of receiving something as a reward and they get frustratred because their partner can't read their minds. It may suit you.
[–]Marcioszka921 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I would never tell him that xD I was punishment for being upfront in my other relationship and now I'm scared. Feeling pushed away just makes it more and more hard for me, to the point I get anxious and just forget that I have needs as well.
Just telling is impossible for me (bc I'm scared of being yelled at or pushed away) that's why I'm asking how to overcome that fear. I'll look up this book thank u very much!
[–]MrNobody___ 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I understand you were in a shit situation before, but your currently BF isn't your ex-BF the situation will not end well. My last relationship ended because my ex treated me like I would cheat on her because her ex cheated on her.
You don't want to be with someone that punish you for being upfront, and you'll only discover it about him if you are upfront.
And listening to you, I don't think sex is the root of your problem, it's the fear of being punished by communicating your needs. And I understand that it's not easy to face your fears, but you have to do it.
I also recommend you to read the book: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life.
There is no other choice but to do it! Thanks a lot. You are a very smart human being. :)
[–]NDex101 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Easy. Kino. Say"Let me see your hand." Look at the lines and say,"Hmmm" then look her in the eye and walk away. She'll be a little curious. If she asks just yell her you read something about hand lines. Then say "I am impressed though." She'll have to concede and ask with what. This time get close. Gentle pick her hand and start massaging her arms and then shoulders, etc. Touch is intimate.
[–]magnetradio 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sit on his lap and rub your pussy on his dick. Look him in the eye and say, with a horny voice, "mmm, fuck me".
That's as blatant as you can get.
Now, you said you are "kinda good-looking", is this your way of saying that you're overweight or very skinny? If you're overweight, lose the weight (Don't confuse overweight with thick. Think flat stomach and a toned body. You don't have to look like a Victoria's Secret model, but you want to stay in good shape)
If you're too skinny, eat more and do a lot of leg, ab, and butt exercises. It's really hot when a woman has a small waist, wide hips, and a round butt.
Wear some skimpy-looking shit. Men are very visual. We also like good smells. Before you initiate sex, take a shower and smell pretty for him. Us men can get a little savage-like as well. If we want it bad enough, we will fuck a woman who hasn't taken a shower and just fuck her right then and there. But this is something he decides, don't expect this to happen. Er on the side of smelling fresh, clean, and pretty for him.
[–]MisterTwo_O 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Look in their general direction and say the words : Wanna fuck?
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[–]Woujo 7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Administrative-Tart2 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]djh860 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Marcioszka921 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dave_spontani 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Marcioszka921 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dave_spontani 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Schhwing 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KingCeddy24 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrNobody___ 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Marcioszka921 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrNobody___ 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Marcioszka921 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]MrNobody___ 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Marcioszka921 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NDex101 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]magnetradio 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MisterTwo_O 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link