Does anyone else ever have trouble getting the "ratios" right for a good conversation/being attractive? (Ratio of humor, seriousness, sexuality, cockiness, interest etc.)

Kysersaiso · 2020-11-03T14:55:41+00:00

Some ppl can read a room. Some can’t 🤷🏽‍♀️🥴

ItsSYZYGY · 2020-11-03T17:06:18+00:00

It's because you are forcing it. It should feel natural. The perfect amounts come out when you are being authentic and comfortable with your sexuality

LoveMagnetMaker · 2020-11-03T17:27:03+00:00

Of course, I think most people go through this. I call it "calibrating." The moment that it doesn't feel confusing anymore is when you've found your own personal level that works for you.

Some dudes get women by being clowns, some dudes get women by being super serious. But the only reason the clown or the serious man gets those women is because he's being to true to his own authentic self, and he's figured out what is comfortable and makes him happy to be.

What feels most authentic to you? What level of flirting/humor/sexuality makes you feel most powerful and masculine? Because if a woman doesn't like what feels authentic to you, then she's not a good match for you.

Now keep in mind, if you want to be a "player" and just sleep with as many women as possible , then you need to learn PUA performance art. But that will NEVER get you an authentic relationship with a woman you can fall in love with.

But if what you want is a great relationship, then authenticity and vulnerability is your friend.

2020-11-03T19:50:56+00:00

Just be yourself. Stop trying so hard. The ratio will be right with the right person, it should just flow.

Soclothesminded · 2020-11-03T19:50:31+00:00

As a girl I feel I give off sexual vibes way too much... to the point where I may want to connect with a guy but the convo or their actions just jump to sexual stuff to easy. I try to be flirty it just comes off as more sexual and they go crazy when I’m trying to build on the fun and playful side of me

SorioXjz · 2020-11-03T19:34:16+00:00

Yeah, i can't get my stats that high.

7Saturn7Saturn7 · 2020-11-03T19:47:50+00:00

Do a vibe for three beats of conversation then switch. It's beginning-middle-end. A beat is like one or a few sentences or phrases that has it's own goal of creating a certain vibe. For a joke this is like setup, punchline, follow up.

You also want a meta rhythm, like tell three jokes close together and none at all for a while. It's related to the law of three. Like if you're playing sports you'll notice your opponents will often try a strategy three times then switch. And if a movie wants to show someone beaten badly they'll have them be punched four or more times whereas if they get punched three or less they'll always be fine even though that's nonsense.

Not saying this is hard and fast, like if your humor or innuendo is really working you can keep it up all the way to the bedroom. Just that humans tend not to think something has gone on too long if it's happened three times.

Czekraft · 2020-11-04T23:33:51+00:00

There is no ratio. You don't have to be anything for anyone. The more you try the more they can see it. A good conversation comes naturally.

It's not like you're not supposed to talk, but if someone else is speaking then you are listening. And when it's your turn to speak, you can followup your friend on what she was talking about or you can relate the topic to your own experience.

atomant88 · 2020-11-09T10:09:14+00:00

just be yourself. personally im very loud and extroverted. and when i actually shut up to listen to a woman they feel important. but thats just an extension of my natural personality. if im quiet i will seem scary and creepy. i need to be super friendly and goofy to make people relax. and once theyre more relaxed i can work on seduction.

but if you're handsome (i surely am not lol) and less physically intimidating than me (im big and mean looking ) your game might be different. or if your actual skill at being entertaining is less . no judgement. results are all that matters. not how you get there. we all have different tools to use

Title	Does anyone else ever have trouble getting the "ratios" right for a good conversation/being attractive? (Ratio of humor, seriousness, sexuality, cockiness, interest etc.)
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	14
Date	November 3, 2020 2:47 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/jnbi9b/does_anyone_else_ever_have_trouble_getting_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/does-anyone-else-ever-have-trouble-getting-the.1505085 https://theredarchive.com/post/1505085

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