I fucked a girl in a 5 year relationship. How do I come to terms with how I feel?

evilquesadilla · 2015-07-01T01:29:02+00:00

If it makes you feel better, you are not the cause, you are just a symptom. If you weren't there she'd be swallowing someone else's cum.

And if you had more plans with this woman other than a fling, you'd be in for a big surprise. You only look good to her because she wants out. If she manages to break up, chances are she'll lose interest in you (unless maybe if you play her hard, but it's kind of not worth it). Also, she's a cheater, chances are, she will cheat on you in the future.

Also, BTW, she's lying. She's just justifying for being a cheater. There are other ways to handle a dead relationship. Don't believe a word she said.

The reason you feel guilty is unfortunately you have a conscience. If you live in a country with permeating corporate culture (like the US), you will actually be rewarded for having no conscience, as long as you are intelligent about your decisions. But you do have one, and really there's nothing you can do about it.

All is fair in love and war. The only thing you have to answer to is your own conscience. You can be the biggest lying asshole in the world, as long as you know how to game chicks and live with yourself (don't break the law that is), you're good to go. I don't see any relationship police throwing you in relationship jail for breaking some relationship law.

But you learned a very valuable lesson... now you know where your threshold is. Just don't do this again in the future. It's good for humanity that you have a conscience, but it's bad for you individually. Work around it.

dr_dreadlifts · 2015-06-30T19:58:03+00:00

Easy: you go to the gym and deadlift until you can't feel anything anymore, except the sweet sweet burn of delicious gainz.

[deleted] · 2015-06-30T17:48:52+00:00

Cut the woman off, she's toxic for you.

If it wasn't your dick, it would be the next guy in line - for your guilt.

Don't pursue women who are in LTR's anymore - you live and learn.

Also, in the future, never sleep over.

CryptoManbeard · 2015-06-30T19:27:44+00:00

At the end of the day, the only person who you need to answer to is yourself. If you feel guilty about it and you don't like what you did, change it. TRP is amoral, but part of being a man is knowing what you want and going after it. If that means you live with a certain set of moral guidelines, then follow them full-heartedly. For some, this means fuck anything that moves. For others, it means they abstain from sex until marriage. Both are equally as "Alpha" or "Beta" depending on the man behind the action.

Know what you want and be that guy, 100%.

Edit: yes I meant amoral.

nyrp · 2015-06-30T17:56:37+00:00

she started saying how she doesn't feel guilty at all because she's been wanting out of the relationship

I've been with girls who say that before. She was guaranteed to be leaving that relationship and you helped her.

Don't feel guilty for breaking them up. It was inevitable.

But otherwise, improve yourself and keep to your morals if it's important to you.

brokenshelf · 2015-06-30T18:05:47+00:00

First off, you need to remove your emotions from the equation. TRP isn't about making yourself "feel" better, it's about becoming better.

It's not your fault that she cheated on her spouse; that's her damage to figure out. You didn't feel bad after the first lay, don't feel bad now. She already said that she doesn't feel bad and wants out of her relationship.

The main reason some of the people on TRP tend to avoid cheaters is mostly the potential hassle that can come afterwards. Women try to swing branches or emasculated boyfriends get pissy. More often than not, nothing happens.

kingofpoplives · 2015-06-30T18:13:24+00:00

Any outside perspective you guys might have? How do I move forward?

Dude...you're just not that special get over it. This type of thing happens all the time in relationships long past their expiration date. You shouldn't feel proud of yourself, but you shouldn't hate yourself either.

So if it feels like shit, then learn from it and don't do it again. But don't be a self indulgent drama queen hamstering on and on about what a terrible thing you did.

[deleted] · 2015-06-30T17:50:35+00:00

Personally, people who are in relationships are no gos for me because I've been through that hell. If you know the dude, I would tell him, might ease your mind

TitsAndWhiskey · 2015-06-30T18:14:07+00:00

She's not really in a relationship if she's fucking you, bro. Her relationship is already over, her bf just doesn't know it yet.

ExcelBro · 2015-06-30T18:50:47+00:00

what's an Omega male in your understanding? Just curious

alreadyredschool · 2015-06-30T19:10:27+00:00

That guy is in a relationship without love, without happiness, this is worse than being single.
If it wasn't for you she would have found someone else.
It is not your job to make sure that she makes good decisions.

plasticslug · 2015-06-30T19:32:18+00:00

I think all the most important aspects have been addressed.

I think it is great that you have a conscience, and if its bothering you, there is nothing wrong with stepping away and getting away from her. She is not a keeper, she is an adult made her own decisions and if she has to branch swing somewhere else its her problem.

With me I always have a fear of the other party, the dude who believes he is dating the woman whom he will spend the rest of his life with, and the "shock" the situation. To many bullshit murders out there over heart broken lovers.

Another example I saw first hand was when my ex was playing with her pussy on camera for me, showing her tits etc. I would remind her "isnt this cheating" to fuck her mind, and she would simply give me bull shit justification. Several months later during a fight, it was uncovered that he (the current boyfriend) was seeing two other girls at the same time he met her, well guess what she came right back with the fact we (her and I) were also fucking apparently. Its a fucked up game out there.

1NV0K3R · 2015-06-30T19:58:28+00:00

If it makes you feel better...

Fuck that. Why do you care? Bro, you were probably number three for the night.

F_Dingo · 2015-06-30T20:24:56+00:00

Don't feel bad, you're definitely not the first person she's cheated on her BF with.

[deleted] · 2015-06-30T22:20:36+00:00

When she consented she just became free in the market. I do not think you should have anything to worry about with regards to guilt.

Kenny_Twenty · 2015-06-30T22:32:29+00:00

Let that overly remorseful part of you die and wither away. To be great you must sometimes tread over others. It's ok to be as humane as possible while doing it. That is to say, if he never learns of this, he won't suffer for it. That's some small solace.

ToshiroOzuwara · 2015-06-30T22:49:58+00:00

I'm feeling some disconnect about what TRP says how I should feel

Where is this written?

real-boethius · 2015-07-01T00:14:45+00:00

she's been wanting out of the relationship for over a year and she sees her boyfriend as a best friend and can't build enough courage to break up with him because he suffers from depression and she's afraid that he'll hurt himself over a breakup.

Right... she's not breaking up with him because she cares about his feelings.

What a load of garbage.

In any case the relationship is dead. You didn't cause it, Mr Omega did.

ThrowingMyslfOutther · 2015-07-01T00:40:16+00:00

TRP is amoral. In case it hasn't been said enough.

Manstack · 2015-07-01T03:48:45+00:00

Are you sure what you're feeling isn't simply the thought that maybe she's going to attach herself to you, when you assumed this was an "on-the-side" arrangement?

Kalepsis · 2015-07-01T10:46:48+00:00

Personal responsibility. You are responsible for your actions, she is responsible for hers. In the end, that's what it comes down to. She is a cheater, she's always been a cheater, she will always be a cheater. Here's a secret you may not have learned yet: most people are cheaters. That's not your responsibility. Your prerogative is to take care of your own needs, and if you had passed on her, A) she would've cheated with another guy; and B) you probably would've fucked another cheater. Would you have felt better fucking a cheater who didn't tell you she was in a LTR? Probably. Does feeling bad about it change the fact that she decided to cheat? No.

If you feel bad about your involvement, slip a copy of the red pill handbook to her boyfriend and let him take responsibility for his life.

[deleted] · 2015-07-24T06:07:45+00:00

No reason to let the negative feeling take you over, man.

Jesus Christ died for your sins.

Seriously, though. You ever see Silver Linings Playbook? There's a part where a song plays and reminds the main character of an incident where he walked in on his wife cheating. He starts going psycho and breaking down in front of a large crowd in public. He loses control mentally over something that happened months before. The girl with him gets him under control and tell him, "It's just a fucking song. Don't turn it into a monster."

Acknowledge and accept how you feel, and be aware of where you stand morally. It happened. You're not the world's worst man for doing what you did. All of your progress and effort in self-improvement is actually still progress. Meditate on it and let go of the negativity attached with what you did because you learned a valuable lesson about yourself. Don't let your memory of what happened or your perception of yourself become a monster that rips apart the good in you.

ToshiroOzuwara · 2015-06-30T20:17:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ChiefReap · 2015-07-01T04:17:25+00:00

U a real nigga be proud

RichieFinn · 2015-06-30T20:44:16+00:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT COMPREHEND THIS IM SORRY.

Shes the one in the relationship, shes the one who accepted a commitment, and for some reason, YOU ARE THE ONE feeling guilty.....you have so much waking up to do....

[deleted] · 2015-06-30T22:11:12+00:00

You could tell her boyfriend about it. Personally, I wouldn't do it though.

Title	I fucked a girl in a 5 year relationship. How do I come to terms with how I feel?
Author	carpetstain
Upvotes	38
Comments	42
Date	June 30, 2015 5:39 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3bnllq/i_fucked_a_girl_in_a_5_year_relationship_how_do_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-fucked-a-girl-in-a-5-year-relationship-how-do-i.150631 https://theredarchive.com/post/150631

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