No pill was how I lived my life, obeying every rule and boundary put in place in front of me, this includes respect of people, which means I Always saw the best in people.

Not having a difference between how I treated people meant I got easily confused between attraction and friendship.

The Red Pill made me see everything in a more truthful logical manner. Initially hard to chew it left a bitter after-taste.

After a while I was with a female friend that I think is moderately attractive and may try to ask out.

Then

I was in Topshop. How the fuck did I get in here. Oh fucking hell I'm that guy.. But when did I... She's choosing clothes & what the fuck am I doing. I'm chewing the fucking pill, like gum it's losing it's colour and flavour maybe even turning blue. Shit.

Since then I'm like Mal from Inception questioning my entire reality, all my interactions past and present are scrutinised.

How much of what am I meant to be with whom??!

I don't know the difference between behaving towards someone as a friend and having that reciprocated to being attracted to them and having That reciprocated.

I thought I did... but I ended up shopping in Topshop with them. Help me.