Was just blindsided by finding out her father does not like me at all.

For context: Our relationship has been excellent so far, I have applied many TRP principles with great success and we are both very happy.

However she had left her email open and I saw one from her father saying how he doesn't like me at all ( we hang out with each others parents quite often for dinners and get togethers). What is shocking for me is that he behaved as if he really liked me and we would share music together, talk about politics and I thought we got along very well. He always complimented me and would speak highly of me, and my LTR would tell me that he liked me.

However in the email he said the following:

"Hey, I'm not trying to make you upset or unhappy but I just have to tell you this. The more I hang out with noobofrlife the less I enjoy in it. You're always asking me why don't I like noobforlife and I always say the same. It's not black and white, it's not about 2 options, life is much more complicated to be answered as "A" or "B". So I'll never like him and I'll never not like him. You are my daughter and will always be and your partner is just your partner and nothing more for me. He's much more confident in relationship with you nowadays so he's more relaxed and less taking care how he acts and how he control his behavior. Again I'm not saying that he is a bad guy, I'm just trying to tell you to pay attention to every single detail where he is overruling or exercising his supremacy over you in any way. Example: he drank your glass of wine in front of me although I asked him many times before if he wants another beer or wine. You came, were surprised, he didn't care, you complied. I can see these types of situations coming more and more and I don't want to be a part of that. He also being more and more critical/cynical of your mum, also being very concerned about Julija's behavior, tonight he even laughed at me at some point. This guy has no right to be involved in our private life, I don't understand why does he think he should. Even if he was your husband, that type of behavior wouldn't be acceptable. So once again I don't have anything against you being with him, I just don't want to hang out with him and that's my choice. At the same time I would like you to pay attention and never ever let anyone, especially people that you have big plans with, to "slowly and wisely" make you to accept everything they want you to do or be. If you ever notice anything like that now is the time to address it. You don't have to argue or fight, you need to show if you're not happy with something. No one will ever respect you if you don't show them how much do you respect yourself. Remember, my point is not to give you a stress but to help you open your eyes, acknowledge and react when anyone disrespect you in any way. Especially when you're trying to build important relationship with someone. Btw, call me whatever you want but wife beater shirt was a big surprise for me tonight. Love you."

There is a lot going on here but Ill explain the examples he used.

The family: There has been tension regarding my LTRs mother leaving to Europe to visit family for 2 months. My LTR currently lives with her family and when she would stay at my place for the weekend he would get upset ( as she is their only child, leaving him home alone). I also told my LTR in confidence that I do find it strange that her mother would be gone for that long. I am assuming she told her father this.

I also told her that I think her uncles fiance (julia - post wall early 30s) is a little cold towards her uncle (snarky comments, put downs etc.). Her uncle works from home and she works a corporate accounting job. I am assuming she also told her father this.

When he says I laughed at him tonight , I cannot specifically recall any instance but I think it was in regards to their dog getting tangled in his leash and her father untangling him. I wasnt laughing at him in any mean way but just made light of the situation

The wine: Yesterday I finished off her glass of wine while she showered and I was chatting with him outside. I usually sip my LTRs drinks and she does the same with me so I didn't think anything of it.

The wife beater: When we stopped by her uncles place to drop off her dog for her father to take home for the night I was wearing a wife beater. It was a very hot day and I had just finished working out. I thought we were only stopping by but we stayed for a chat and hang out. The first thing he said was: "wow a wife beater" to which I replied: "it's that kind of day" meaning it was hot and I was sweaty. I am quite muscular and her father is very fat and I know it bothers him when I turn down offers for food or alcohol since I am cutting (show great results so far and want to continue this).

What really disturbs me is how nice he acts towards me but clearly he doesn't like me and it's been this way for a while. My LTR has been very good at hiding this from me. Her father is verrrryyy BP, having only two women, his wife and daughter has really softened him up (my opinion of course).

He also pushes for her to make her own decisions, even if she is. An example if she were to sleep over for the night he would ask her if that was because I told her to or if she made that decision. When in reality she obviously decides and wants to be with me. I get the feeling he sees how submissive she is with me and it bothers him and he wants to make sure she isnt being taken advantage of.

My LTR and I spend a lot of time together and I get the feeling he resents me for "stealing" her from him and is now stirring the pot. My girl says if we were married that it wouldn't bother him if we lived together but with this arrangement (bf/gf) she shouldn't be staying over so much. I dont believe this for a second, I know he would probably continue acting this way even if we were to get married. For example I said I would only get married in a catholic church and he is very much against that (non religious family). By the way we are both 25 years old at the moment.

Here is my dilemma:

She kept this hidden from me and he acts very fake towards me. Not sure how to play this.

We have a family reunion of theirs that I am invited to. Not sure if I should go and pretend to not know anything.

If her father does not like me as he says he does (they've never liked her two previous ex's either) then I doubt I can keep pursuing this LTR. She listens to her parents and it would cause strain in our dynamic if this were to come out. Its unfortunate as she is a great girl which is why I made her my girlfriend in the first place.

How should I proceed and manage this issue going forward.

I am really looking for solid advice or stories from others who have been in similar situations