Gentlemen, after 1.5 years of seration, delays and senseless refusals, and of course the lies and standard legal quagmire, I (m43) and she (f43) finally reached a settlement just one day before court date. It ain't great, and its far from fair imo, but it prevents indefinite spousal support after a 20 year marriage and i get to keep my personal assets. I hate she's getting so much after contributing next to nothing in time, money or effort, but there's not much I can do about it. The next 10 years are gonna be tough, but after that I'll be done. Kids are older, only support for one for another 4 years. This is the hardest thing I've been through, especially since I didn't want it and didn't see it coming, but it's almost over. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I just want to say thanks to this subreddit for the support and info you guys have provided. The conversations here have been a huge help, and also knowing I wasn't alone and others were seeing/feeling/surviving the same thing I was. And for those of you still in it, or just starting out, this ain't easy, and it's gonna hurt, but we men are survivors, and you will make it out the other side. I too never thought I'd make it here, but if I can, you can too.

Cheers brothers!