Briefly, I was terrible with girls when young, had my first girlfriend and lost my virginity at 26 and, after a journey through spirituality and self-improvement, became a Christian when I was 28. It helped lots of aspects of my sense of purpose/identity and also the Christian dating pool is small here in the UK (especially as a male) so I started to get a lot more interest.

I met a woman on a Christian dating site and we got married nearly 10 years ago when I was 30. We had two children but lots of our marriage was unhappy. I killed lots of aspects of myself trying to be the dutiful husband and my wife struggled with mental health and that impacted our relationship badly. We separated in February.

Since then, I’m getting into good shape, feeling more positive and developing a better social life. I will be starting to try to date again fairly soon. I’m looking into a lot of stuff around game and I really want to build up experience and enjoy women. After thinking I’d found ‘the one’ and it failing, I want to meet many women and be an excellent partner for whoever I ultimately end up with.

Here’s the kicker - I’m a conservative evangelical. My paradigm has been ‘date only who you can see yourself marrying’ and ‘sex before marriage is a sin’. My divorce has really challenged my more rigid theology and, within myself, I don’t think going into another serious relationship is the best move for me.

My faith is still very important to me but I want, at least for a while, to have lots of casual relationships, sex and to ultimately be a better lover through deeper experience and game. I think I can do this while still being moral; especially by being honest about where I’m at.

I do worry about my sense of congruence though. Just wanting any insights, tips etc from any others who may have navigated a similar path? One question would be… if I go on online dating apps, do I put ‘casual’ under what I’m looking for? Do I say I’m a Christian? An answer to this and other general thoughts/tips would be much appreciated.