the pornographic content he consumes is concerning me, am I overthinking this?

mishkaforest235 · 2024-05-10T10:11:34+00:00

It’s horrible when you discover something like this isn’t it?

He seems to be interested in genres that eroticise breaking family/generational boundaries - that’s quite concerning. It’s a little more niche than the average.

Your gut instinct is important here. It might be useful for you to read or look into Gavin de Becker and his book ‘The Gift of Fear’. He highlights repeatedly that women are been taught to override that creeping; nervous; fearful feeling and rationalise it away but it’s the very feeling that prevents you from entering into a dangerous situation.

ItsAmory · 2024-05-10T10:32:15+00:00

Hey , there are multiple average women that enjoy being humiliated and tortured and prefer watching those categories.

And I’m not typing this to tell you “oh women watch it too” I am typing this so you understand that it’s much more common than you think on both ends. Also, just because somebody prefers watching a specific genre doesn’t mean they want to experience it irl (think of straight girls watching lesbian porn)

I have seen far more posts on here from girlfriends saying “my boyfriend is too gentle I want him to be more rough” than “my boyfriend is too rough I want him to be more gentle”.

If your boyfriend doesn’t like you because he enjoys degrading sex , does that mean women who enjoy being degraded don’t like themselves?

Porn in general is very bad , I’d argue this genre is even worse , but it’s not what you make it to be

pinacoladathrowup · 2024-05-10T19:48:03+00:00

I avoid men who watch porn like the plague because it rots their mind. Don't bother with people who accept these things as normal, you do not want a future with someone who has these desires because men act on them. Women largely do not.

Reasonable_Tie_132 · 2024-05-10T13:11:42+00:00

I think this type of content is far more usual than some people think.

It’s important to remember that any pornographic material that seems to depict non-consensual acts are actually consensual and that’s why so many people can watch it. They KNOW it’s actually consensual. And many average couples enjoy this type of play in real life. It’s called consensual non-consent. It would be very different to consume content knowing it was not consensual, so of course the source of where it’s being viewed is very important.

I read somewhere once when I was also kind of weirded out by discovering this was a thing (not my husband watching it - I don’t know if he does, in my opinion ignorance is bliss in this category within reason and he doesn’t do anything during sex that I don’t like or find concerning), that much of the appeal is the giving up of consent and control to your partner - not totally unlike the ideas of red pill and traditional gender roles.

The family stuff I agree is weird but is it possible that he’s really not watching for the story line? Perhaps he just likes the way the people in the porn look or it has a preferred porn actor/actress in it (that’s a thing).

It doesn’t mean you have to be okay with this, it’s entirely your call to set and enforce your own boundaries and decide what you are willing to accept.

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Own-Homework-9331 · 2024-05-10T09:46:59+00:00

idk much about your boyfriend, but sometimes I watch these types of porn because they usually have more attractive models compared to other videos. idk why exactly this is, but it is.

On the flip side, after i've climaxed, i realise how disgusting this is the stuff that I am watching. So I guess, your mind just ignores the disgust when it's horny 🤔

AutoModerator · 2024-05-10T09:10:02+00:00

Title: the pornographic content he consumes is concerning me, am I overthinking this?

Author tr1shylol

Full text: the kind of pornographic content my boyfriend consumes is very concerning, it's creepy

what kind of person finds torturing and humiliating someone sexually hot?

what kind if person finds cheating on their wife with her mother and aunt hot?

does he actually like women at all if he likes this kind of stuff and is so passionate about it?

I love him and he treats me so well and with so much respect but I can't get over how disgusted and honestly concerned I feel.

I've never been a "k*ll all men" kind of girl, but I'm losing hope at the possibility that men actually like us

I don't want him to like me as an exception to other girls, because he thinks I'm special, because what if I'm not special to him anymore?

would I be perceived just like these girls he enjoys seeing getting sexually humiliated?

am I overthinking this?

^{This is the original text of the post and this is an automated service}

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clitclamchowder · 2024-05-10T19:30:44+00:00

R/pornismisogyny r/loveafterporn

VasiliyZaitzev · 2024-05-11T08:35:57+00:00

So is this the kind of thing you can have a conversation with him about? Or did you kind of sneak a peek at his Internet history? Because I think anything that seems like a strange fetish is worth a conversation. For example, he might simply just like a particularly MILFy actress and that’s the genre she appears in a lot.

Or maybe is uncle married to smoking hot 22-year-old when your bf was 14 and he had a bit of an obsession.

Or maybe he was an incest victim. One never knows. There might be some reason that would make it more “understandable” for you.

Independent-Story883 · 2024-05-10T13:56:58+00:00

I do not want a reputation as the porn defense queen but its such a fun topic and oddly I am not horny at all

In brief: No. I think overthinking is perfectly normal for a committed partner in any relationship. Just try not to overreact. We all love our children . Suffocating them in bubble wrap is going a tad far.

These questions you have about him are best answered by him. We can only speculate what he is thinking. If you feel safe and are in a loving relationship, you should just ask him. My advice is for marriage minded, longterm relationship seeking couples. If you see no longterm prospect in this gentleman, just leave. Thats the difference in dating vs marriage. Some viewpoints that may be missed as the conversation continues:

1) Consider that he may get pleasure from you being disgusted at watching this. Like that time when i gave my 10 month old a lemon for the first time🤔… but I digress.

2) Consider that you don’t have to enjoy or believe in every thing your partner does. I did not expect my ex-husband to brag about how much fun he had in RH picking out lighting. But I thought it was nice he accompanied me to the store. For the extremely grueling details of carpet selection he was excused. He could have asked me “ What kind of woman volunteers her free weekend to compare fabric “ . I would have answered him and asked “ What kind of man spends a week speculating on nfl draft picks” … Some people like ketchup. Some like mustard. Both people can still sit down at the table and enjoy their hot dogs together.

3) Lastly consider he has no control over what he enjoys. By this I mean occasionally what we find pleasurable is a strange mixture of nurture and nature. Have you asked him honestly about his first sexual experience? It might have been something unconventional, possibly traumatic but now thats what turns him on.

My ex husband and I are amicably divorced. People ask how do we still get along so well. I think it because we both took vows seriously. I strongly believe marriage between two people is a sacred agreement. You are committing to be his life partner. Only you can decide what you are willing to accept. What he enjoys and why he enjoys it should be kept in a safe place behind closed doors. That’s why it’s called intimacy. Think how angry you would be if someone else came into your relationship and was intimate with him. If you would not be angry about it, then farm out the task of intimacy to someone else. Many long lasting relationships do just that.

You should not put you or your children’s safety at risk . You should always feel safe. A good partner would not think to compromise your safety or publicly ridicule you. You would not demand he move the couch up three flights of stairs in front of his colleagues….well maybe. Installation can get pricey.

Title	the pornographic content he consumes is concerning me, am I overthinking this?
Author	tr1shylol
Upvotes	18
Comments	21
Date	May 10, 2024 9:10 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1col651/the_pornographic_content_he_consumes_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/the-pornographic-content-he-consumes-is-concerning.1518089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518089

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