In most societies we are searching for someone where we feel a "spark". Someone that we find "hot". Someone we feel "happy" with, while happiness is merely a fleeting emotion, we cannot be happy all the time. Those all mean jack shit. As they say, love is blind. We're just going off a "feeling". People routinely skip all glaring red flags when they are infatuated with someone. Everyone thinks they are smarter than that until it happens to them.

What if we as a people are optimizing for the wrong traits in a partner? None of the things I mention will inherently mean they will be a competent, loyal, caring partner who will also be a good parent. Someone who will stick by your side through life's ups and downs. A few societies have tried to make this process more objective by having a second and third party help make the decisions, but it is still flawed as they often filter for shallow things as well.

Sexual attraction, desire, and game are simply the motivator and proxies for mate selection for animals and primitive hominids like our forefathers. Animals do not understand the concept of procreation and cannot be tasked with the process of selecting a healthy responsible mate to raise the next generation, that's what primary and secondary sex characteristics are for. They signal a healthy genetic makeup.

Now unlike animals we are advanced beings with knowledge and reasoning skills. The focus on sexual attractiveness and "game" may even be selecting for overconfidence and arrogance if not straight up dark triad traits. Not for being a smart, diligent, humble, provider.