TLDR: Getting divorced and feel bad that i’m doing ok and my STBX isn’t doing as good.

I was in a 18 year marriage that started off fine. about 5 years in it started going south. We struggled financially, argued all the time and then I started getting ED and we stopped having. sex the last 11 years. Those 11 years were miserable. My STBX has severe anxiety and control issues. For me I was never good enough, never could say the right thing, and walked on eggshells everyday.

I had every intention of leaving when my youngest finished high school, but we were both done and i moved out. Divorce is filed and just waiting on the courts.

My wife has a Masters degree and is a teacher, but this has only been the past 4 years. Prior to that she was a sub and before that stayed home raising our youngest while i worked. I’ve made it to a point where, financially i’m in pretty decent shape. I make twice what my STBX does.

So here’s the thing. I’ve done my budget and pay alimony and child support, live in a very modest one bedroom apartment and tend to still have money available for savings or things want to splurge on. My STBX got our house and refuses to move. It’s huge and she is scraping but getting by.

The issue is i’m feeling great about my life, know i’m providing my son and ex and even took on old bills we both had to help her out even more. I’m happy but feel bad that i’m in a good place while she makes it very clear she isn’t.

I feel bad about feeling good and have been talking with a therapist to try and reconcile this. I left her, but i made it clear i would provide above and beyond what the courts say i am required. So why do i still feel bad when i have money to buy things and do it??