TLDR: sorry, this is super long. So my boyfriend (both mid 30s) of 2.5 months just made two major confessions to me: 1, that he is an alcoholic (which I was starting to suspect) and 2, he told me he loves me for the first time. He did both of these while drunk. As crazy as it sounds I don't want to break up yet and want advice.

Here's the story. He told me he was going out with friends tonight and gave me a set end time. This was all over text. He said he was tired and wouldn't be going out after dinner and would go straight home and would text me when he got back safely. So a half an hour from the end time passes, no text. Then an hour, no text. Then an hour and a half. I start getting increasingly concerned because it is completely out of character for him (He is normally a man of his word to the extreme. He prides himself in his work and has said he values responsibility and accountability).

I tried texting him at each interval. First was a cute check in text telling him I was going to bed. Next was one saying I'm getting worried. Did a 3rd and said I was getting really worried. I finally call and he answers, obviously sloppily drunk and tries to act like everything was fine. Said he didn't see my texts in spite of the fact that he somehow called an Uber (he was in an Uber when I called).

Then I got real with him. I told him I was worried sick, was relieved he was safe but that I was concerned about the way he was talking and acting and concerned about his wellbeing. (He was coherently speaking at moments and then would become incoherent moments later).

I kept him on the phone with me until I confirmed that he made it inside his apartment safely. Getting inside seemed to wake him up a bit. He started apologizing and saying that he was sorry and that he cares about me so much and that I mean the world to him. I told him I was very concerned about how intoxicated he sounded and that we needed to have a big talk in the morning when he was feeling better. Then he got worried that I was trying to break up with him and he said he didn't want me to break up with him this way. I told him I was not trying to break up with him and then I said very calmly and firmly, "I'm trying to tell you I am worried you are an alcoholic".

He goes quiet for a second and the says, "I am", "You're right, I am". You could hear a pin drop for about 30 seconds after that.

I started to try to launch into a discussion about the game plan moving forward and if he was going to get help, but then realized he was in no state to make that kind of decision or do any planning whatsoever. We went back and forth for a bit, I kept saying how concerned I was, hoping he would snap into reality and start saying how he was going to turn things around but he didn't. Eventually he said he was tired and needed to rest, and I realized that there was no way I could have a rational discussion with him.

Before we signed off he then dropped the bomb and told me for the first time that he loved me. He hinted last week that he had been wanting to say it but wanted to save it for our 3 month anniversary. We planned a big trip and he wanted to say it for the first time on the trip. Well, he said it tonight, while drunk, and I said it back. We traded I love yous for a bit, and I agreed to call him in the morning to check in and then we signed off.

I personally don't consider myself an alcoholic but have had to check myself on several occasions and cut back when I realize I am drinking too frequently. I told this to my boyfriend early on, about a month in, and we agreed to be mindful of our drinking together. He said he wanted to move more in my direction and drink less. The last few weeks, we have started overindulging a bit together. Honestly, it has been a lot of fun, but I am realizing it is too much for me personally.

Aside from the whole alcoholic thing and what happened tonight, he has some really good traits. He is actually the most put together guy I have ever been with. He has an insanely lucrative career (we're talking $200+ k a year), amazing personality, so much in common with me, absolutely brilliant, like savant level intelligence (hence the high paying job), and has incredible leadership qualities. He is kind, caring, nurturing and protective (in a good way). We have so much in common, are planning to start a band together (we are both musicians), and have one of the best bonds I have ever had with someone.

Up until this point we have had also had a very satisfying dynamic where he is in charge, and I am voluntarily more submissive. I like that dynamic, and he likes it too. We have also started building a strong BDSM dynamic in the bedroom and a mild one outside the bedroom (for example, I have been voluntarily letting him make certain decisions, etc, for me but only where I feel comfortable letting him do that). But tonight, I felt like I had to completely drop the "act" so to speak and step into the more dominant role.

I care about this guy so damn much. I stopped believing in soul mates a long time ago, but since meeting him and falling in love with him, I might reconsider. I don't want to give up on him but I don't want to knowingly walk into a dumpster fire. Part of me feels like we can get through this together, but Part of me is terrified it Will only get worse.

I'm just completely numb now. It's 1:00am, I'm supposed to talk to him at 8 in the morning. No idea what to say or do from here.