Pursue your purpose and women will come. 

If you’ve ever consumed content from a creator in the manosphere you’ve most likely heard this maxim espoused at some point. The idea is that if men find their life’s purpose and pursue it relentlessly, they will become higher value men who naturally exude behaviors that women find attractive. And, while there is absolutely merit to this claim (I don’t necessarily believe men will behave like they are preselected as a consequence of having purpose), I’ve always had a problem with it because it doesn’t address the million dollar question that every guy looking to improve his life’s circumstances has: how the heck do you find your life’s purpose? 

It is my conjecture that the reasons for this are twofold: Firstly, truly finding your life’s purpose (or mission, or task, or whatever you want to refer to it as) is an incredibly difficult feat and they have not accomplished it yet. Secondly, it requires a considerable amount of time, effort, and patience that most men belonging to generation-z simply “ain’t got time for,” so self help gurus don’t bother providing beneficial advice because being “boring” doesn’t yield them with a satisfactory amount of views. 

As such, young men, well, those who are actually willing to put in the work to improve themselves, are still completely and utterly clueless as to how to find their life’s purpose, which inevitably results in them blindly following whatever fad self help gurus are promoting at the time: ice baths, carnivore diets, reading books because it’s what “smart” people do, waking up early, etc.  Now, don’t get me wrong, these activities are unquestionably beneficial, but purposelessly improving yourself without some tangible goal isn’t going to make the void inside of you disappear. You’ll just be a healthy looking guy who’s actually miserable internally, which I suppose is better than being unhealthy and miserable – but still not ideal. 

Consider finding your life’s purpose paramount. That is, it’s literally the difference between life and death. Mainstream media attributes the abnormally high male suicide rates to “toxic masculinity” and men not being more vulnerable, but that’s delusional nonsense proclaimed by women and feminized men – it’s because they lack purpose and don’t know how to find it. 

Assess your proclivities and inclinations

The first step to finding your life’s purpose is to evaluate what you are innately drawn to. These are activities, items, or aspects of life you have an affinity for, but can’t necessarily articulate why. I recommend starting by assessing your childhood interests, as doing so better allows you to evaluate what you are intrinsically and inexplicably drawn to, and asking multiple family members (or people you spent much time with) what you were obsessed with as an infant, as each one of them may remember something that others don’t, providing you with more beneficial insights. 

One day, when I was around 13 years old, I saw men running a marathon on TV and was instantly drawn to it for some unfathomable reason. I had never ran long distances in my life, and was chubby as a consequence of regularly eating junk food and never exercising, but it became clear that it was something I needed to start doing immediately. 14 years have passed and I’ve been running come hell or high water because there’s something intrinsically rewarding about it that’s almost impossible to convey with words– it’s just what I’m supposed to do. 

Conduct introspection to find your why 

After assessing what your proclivities and inclinations are, you must, to the best of your ability, determine why you are naturally drawn towards them. Knowing is only half the battle, and once you can express why you care about what you do, it makes finding your life’s purpose considerably easier. There’s multiple ways to approach this, but I found conducting introspection to be the most effective. 

You must grab a pen and notebook, go somewhere devoid of distractions, and write down everything you like about your proclivities and inclinations. It is paramount that you are extremely detailed and thorough. Literally write down everything – especially that which you deem as unimportant– because doing so provides valuable feedback and allows for dots to be connected later on. 

I’ve found that the seemingly “unimportant” aspects of my thoughts during the introspective process tend to provide the most valuable insights, as it’s effectively your subconscious mind’s way of communicating to your conscious mind to pay special attention to whatever is being pondered. 

I played a substantial amount of video games up until my freshman year of high school, and while doing so was arguably a massive waste of time, it did provide me with valuable feedback into what my inclinations are. When conducting introspection to determine my life’s purpose, I noted that the video games I enjoyed playing required much grinding (the completion of monotonous and repetitive tasks) and were competitive ones in which my progress could be tangibly measured. I then deduced that I wasn’t necessarily playing World of Warcraft or Mortal Kombat because they were fun, but because I was obsessed with becoming better over time through hard work. 

I then began writing about my love for competitive distance running and bodybuilding (no, the two are not mutually exclusive), and it dawned on me that I never cared about how I placed relative to others – only that I was becoming better. Furthermore, there was a point in my early twenties where I fell off the wagon and stopped training for a while; so, while I did love these activities, it wasn’t them specifically that I was obsessed with, but rather, the regular utilization of my body and improving at what I was doing over time.

Continuing the introspective process, I was also able to conclude that I possessed an innate desire to help others, and at this understood that my purpose in life had something to do with being physically active, self development, and helping others. Understanding this, I began scouting for potential careers aligned with my proclivities and inclinations, and concluded that firefighting was the best for me. 

Stop conflating jobs with your purpose

One of the biggest mistakes people make when attempting to find a career is conflating it with their passions. And, I mean, don’t get me wrong - I understand why people do it: if you’re going to work for the next 40 years of your life you should probably spend it doing something you enjoy. However, the career or job you pursue most likely won’t be your life’s purpose because your passions must be discovered, not found. 

That’s not to say that the job you work can’t be your life’s purpose, as there are certainly people on this earth whose mission is in accordance with what they accomplish for an employer; however, that’s typically not the case because jobs are cookie cutter and constrained, while we, human beings, are exceptionally unique and unconstrained.

Thus, when attempting to find a job or career, you want to find one that is aligned with your proclivities and nature, analyze what you liked and disliked from previous jobs, and amalgamate this information in order to find your ideal job. Assessing what you liked and disliked about jobs requires life experience, so, if you are on the younger side, I’d recommend speaking with someone more experienced or watching a substantial amount of videos on youtube regarding what to expect working in your anticipated field(s). 

When conducting introspection to determine what I wanted in a job, I deduced that I couldn’t sit at a desk for hours, needed autonomy over where I worked, and the ability to flex my work hours if needed (basically, I desired the freedom to not have to sit behind a desk all day). I recalled loving having to walk around at previous jobs (which makes sense as it’s in accordance with my nature), and having the ability to work in coffee shops so I could escape the depressing fluorescent lighting if needed.

As far as the work itself goes, I remembered that I enjoy predictable work environments in which monotonous tasks were performed daily, as opposed to ones that required more creative problem solving (wow, engineering really wasn’t a good choice). It was at this point I concluded that the jobs I enjoyed working at the most were the ones that provided me with the most autonomy and had absolutely nothing to do with the work itself. Not saying that’s the case for you all, but it without a doubt could be as seeking fulfillment from something external is improbable. 

Smaller purposes lead to the overarching one. 

After reading and implementing what was suggested in the text above, it is probable that you still won’t know what your life’s purpose is as it’s that difficult to discover. In such a case, goals with respect to things that are important to you should be pursued, as doing so will bring you closer to your overarching life’s purpose and, in theory, make you a better person. 

I studied engineering in school and abhorred every single moment of it. I mean, my disdain for it is so profound that I’ve legitimately considered writing articles about why people shouldn’t pursue it. Nonetheless, it was during this time I began my lifting journey and became addicted. So addicted in fact that I would run 2 miles each way to the gym in any type of weather and regardless of how little sleep was acquired to accomplish my goal of becoming jacked like Ronnie Coleman. I was perceptive enough to know that lifting, and more broadly, exercise, wasn’t my life’s purpose, but I knew steps were being taken in the right direction as accomplishing this goal was incredibly important to me. 

Once it is found, pursue it relentlessly. 

Once your purpose is discovered, it should be pursued like your life depends on it. How this looks will be different for everyone, but I advocate that people – especially men – produce something. 

There’s a million different ways to make a dollar now thanks to the internet, so if you’re not interested in going the ordinary entrepreneurial route and creating your own business, you can start your own personal brand instead. This is done by documenting your current knowledge of whatever is intrinsically important to you (your life’s work), constantly enhancing and refining your understanding of the subject, and distributing it to people in the form of a product.

One common misconception is that mastery of a subject is required in order to properly help others, and that’s just blatantly false - you just need to be a few steps ahead of whoever you are selling a product to. A formerly obese 28 year guy who began running for the first time 3 years ago and now runs a 14 minute 5k may not be able to sell products to professional long distance runners, but he sure can sell training programs to people who are overweight and looking to start running.

Since the man has only been running for three years he’s obviously not the best or most experienced coach available, but his story of transforming from being formerly obese to a high level runner is one a substantial amount of people would be interested in, because it suggests that if he can do it then they may be able to as well. I highly recommend consuming content from Dan Koe on YouTube for more details on how to start a personal brand in alignment with your life’s purpose. 

If they can do it, so can you

I don’t consume content on Tiktok anymore, as I have no interest in shortening my lifespan and losing brain cells, but when I did I would become frustrated that there were people with large followings who had no idea what they were talking about making unreasonable sums of money. I’ve been lifting, running, working to become better with women, and developing myself into a more masculine man for quite some time now, and I had a very difficult time sleeping at night knowing that there were morons monetizing my (their) interests but making substantially more than me while working 1/10th as hard, being 1/100th as competent, and possessed 1/1000th of valuable knowledge. 

Just know that if these clowns can make it you can too as long as you are willing to exert yourself and work exceptionally hard. If you tell yourself that success is the only option then it is. 

If you enjoyed this article, feel free to read my others pertaining to dating and self development from a red pill framework: https://jackedguy.substack.com/