Every guy here can relate to getting a girl's number, texting her back and forth repeatedly, revealing information about one another and seemingly enjoying talking to one another. Then suddenly, she stops texting as frequently, her response times become longer, her responses become shorter, and more dry, you can tell that her attraction to you is lowering and you don't know why because you thought everything was going well.

Here's the deal: texting can not build attraction. Whether you match with a girl on a dating app, message her on Instagram, or get her number through cold approach, she has already categorized you. You are either someone she will date or someone she will accept free attention from.

Women absolutely love attention, and more specifically, attention from men. Thus, they will gladly waste their time if you let them.

It's why when some of you have texted a woman for a long time (thinking you were building attraction) and she still was not receptive to your advances (making excuses without offering counter times or just straight up denying you)

When you get a girl's number or match with her on a dating app, your objective should be to get her out on a date. You should not be messaging women to build comfort and rapport prior to asking her out, because women do not need comfort and rapport necessary to go on dates with guys. It is not uncommon for women, modern women in western society specifically, to have one night stands with men from bars or to literally hook up with guys in bar bathrooms after talking to them for 10-30 minutes if they perceive them as attractive enough. There's no comfort or rapport being built there. Similarly, it is not needed for dates on dating apps or after getting a girl's number.

Your opening message should literally be asking the woman what her availability is to go on a date, not making naïve small talk to get her more comfortable with you, that's not how this works. The more you text, the more common you appear, and the more boring you are.

Once she gives you her availability, you give her a SET LOCATION AND TIME. You should not be messaging her in the time between the date for a couple reasons. First, you should be busy working on your purpose in life and developing yourself into a high quality man. You literally shouldn't have time to initiate conversation with her randomly throughout the day because you're busy trying to become a badass. Secondly, it's not what women want you to do. Women need to be wondering about you and anticipating when she will hear from you next. When you aren't messaging her daily like other guys, she is wondering why you aren't and starts thinking that you are higher value because there's something different about you, as you aren't texting her stupid stuff like the other guys who attempt to build comfort.

When you aren't texting her, she's wondering why, and her imagination runs wild. She starts thinking that you probably are busy dating other girls, starts wondering about your career or what you've got going on in your life, she starts to think that you aren't into her that much (which is different because most guys don't behave like that) and this turns them on.

Most guys message in between because they think that woman will interpret them not messaging them in between as an indicator of you not liking them. That's false. If you've scheduled a set time and place, plans have been made and its a date. She's not going to forget that she scheduled a date with a guy she's very attracted to because you haven't messaged her in 7 days.

With that being said, if a woman does message you in between the date, you obviously don't ignore her. Women messaging men is good behavior that should be rewarded. So, respond to her message in adequate time (if you're actually busy respond when you can), just don't reply in such a way that provokes a response out of her. Her messaging you first is a good indication that she is attracted to you, but you must save building attraction for the date.

If you message her on the day of the date, and she says that she assumed that the date was off because she hadn't heard from you, just say of course not. That's literally all you have to do. Don't explicitly explain that you were busy with your words, just demonstrate it with your actions. Which you did because you have not been texting her like other guys and said "of course not"

The date is for building attraction, having fun, and becoming physical with the woman (whatever you want that to mean)

If you are talking to a woman, and she suggests that you all get to know each other better before going on a date, she is trying to get you to enter her frame. If she can get you to enter her frame, she loses attraction to you. When she does this, just playfully tell her that you can get to know each other better during the date (not these exact words but the idea is the same) . If she does not enter your frame, and continues to suggest that you get to know each other better, move on. Men always have to control the frame. Now, sometimes, if a woman is more traditional, she may want to get to know you a little bit more and it's not actually about her controlling the frame. But for the overwhelming majority of modern women, comfort and rapport is not needed. So, if you suspect your woman is ran thru or not traditional. control the frame

You can get dates scheduled on dating apps or from numbers in cold approach after 1-3 messages, her mind about you has been made up, no texting will build attraction.

This article goes into more detail about why texting can't build attraction: https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/what-to-do-after-getting-a-girls?r=31tj3q&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

This article details why you only need to send 1-3 messages to convert matches to dates on dating apps: https://open.substack.com/pub/jackedguy/p/how-to-get-dates-on-dating-apps-a?r=31tj3q&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

EDIT: It seems as though some of you misunderstood what I was trying to convey. I did not say that your opening message to a woman on a dating app should be asking her out on a date. If you cold approached a woman in person you can do that. But for online dating , I am saying that all it takes it 1-4 messages bantering with a direct and playful opener to get a girl out on a date with you. I never said that your first message should be "Let's meet here on this date at this time."

That can work if she is very physically attracted to you, but generally, you need your messages to be direct, playful, and fun, and you can get woman to agree to go out with you very quickly -- assuming she is complying. Anything else lowers attraction

Furthermore, texting does not build attraction. Sure, it can to some women in some instances, but in the initial stages of courtship, for the overwhelming majority of women, texting does nothing other than lower her attraction to you. And that's just a plain fact. All texting does is further put yourself in the friendzone and lowers her attraction. Sure, there are outliers, but those don't matter. Building attraction requires you to interact with the women in person so she can be subjected to your physical presence.