When does "own your shit" turn into "beating a dead horse to death"?

threekindsoflucky · 2024-06-23T23:46:00+00:00

The way you frame the question tells everything about the way you think.

I want to make this clear. I'll give you a list of things you can change:

You.

That's it. It's a long list but I do trust you can remember it.

With that thought in mind, I'll also tell you what you can do to reliably change your relationship:

Leave and find another woman.

That also links back to the first point, you control you. That means, you control who you're with.

Ok, so that's the obvious shit out of the way.

I'll get to what I think you're actually asking. If you want a relationship to be a certain way, or you want things to change in a relationship, then you need to set up that expectation and the consequence for not meeting that expectation. It's then on your partner to decide if they think it is worthwhile to them or not.

Note that this won't work with sex, as you can't negotiate desire. You can try, but you wont like the result.

The neat trick is that this only will work if you're actually worth a damn (i.e. your partner prefers to be with you compared to the alternative). This is the main part that the vast majority of guys tend to forget.

You get what you deserve in your relationships. If you put up with shit, then you deserve shit. If you let your parnter walk all over you, then you're probably something who deserves to be walked over.

It's all fairly basic once you really understand.

When (if ever) do you know if your changes will elicit the change(s) you're hoping to see in your relationship?

The fact you use the word 'hope' tells me everything I need to know. So for you, well. Keep hoping.

The "definition of done" in the many readings suggested to us is nebulous.

You can define 'done' as whatever you want, but the whole 'not being a worthless peice of shit' is something that is never 'done'. I say this specifically because I suspect your definition of done is 'I did the stuff, now things are what I wanted, so I can go back to being shit now because I have what I want'.

I ask because I have a tendency to fight to the bitter end.

If you're fighting, you've already lost.

Praexology · 2024-06-24T13:49:44+00:00

The "definition of done" in the many readings suggested to us is nebulous.

When do you stop maintenance on a vehicle? Never. You are fighting against the natural order of breakdown.

Also you aren't owning your shit to trick the cosmos into convincing your wife into blowing you.

You're owning your shit because the alternative is pathetic.

I ask because I have a tendency to fight to the bitter end.

This clears it up. You dont understand anything.

castironskilletset · 2024-06-24T14:30:40+00:00

When (if ever) do you know if your changes will elicit the change(s) you're hoping to see in you~~r relationship~~?

As soon as you put in the work

When (if ever) do you know if your changes will elicit the change(s) you're hoping to see in your relationship?

Maybe Never. Thats the Red Pill, stop chocking on it. Swallow it. Your wife is not special there are millions of women out there.

You are asking the wrong question.

What do you want with your life? when you have that answer, you just have to go get it

deerstfu · 2024-06-24T20:29:24+00:00

I'm not sure but it's definitely more than 0. Go own your shit.

Title	When does "own your shit" turn into "beating a dead horse to death"?
Author	KennethColeHaan
Upvotes	9
Comments	8
Date	June 23, 2024 10:40 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/1dmyct1/when_does_own_your_shit_turn_into_beating_a_dead/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/when-does-own-your-shit-turn-into-beating-a-dead.1522451 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522451

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