How to cope with losing custody?

fewdo · 2024-07-03T20:11:37+00:00

Coping: I get freaking sad and start attacking myself then I get over it because stuff needs to get done. Booze delays the pain which isn't nothing. Letting the sun shine on me and moving my body actually help. And friends. Let someone know that you are going through something really hard. And frankly, coming on here to encourage the next guy helps too.

Telling folks: you get to decide what each person needs to know. "My kids are with my ex most of the time." is plenty of information for acquaintances. For family or friends who you trust with your mental health info, you can share more if you want to. For dates, the information you should share grows as you get closer. You want someone who can deal with who you really are.

Visitation: you hold it together and focus on the kid's world. "Mommy and Daddy stopped being friends" is plenty. "I love spending time with you." Say the truth but just the good parts.

TheBoyBand · 2024-07-03T18:04:47+00:00

First of all owning your mental health illness speaks volumes of you! There are a lot of men AND woman with these disorders that don’t own them, put pride, ego and malice into hurting the other party hence the “custody battle” you are doing good recognizing the actual best interest. Coping with it takes acceptance which you have started and time, continue coping by being on medication, coupling with gym or whatever self care, and being honest with family, friends and potential dates as you were in this post.

Edit: I had to accept that I was a raging alcoholic, that saving myself was first (and I did) it was best for mine to be with mom most of the time even with a new partner while I got my shit together, I see my kids daily, eow, one week on week off in summers, I handle ALL sports and extracurriculars, whenever the kids call im there even on her weekends as she has to work now. Life is good.

Embarrassed-Steak331 · 2024-07-03T19:57:53+00:00

(a) Get enough sleep
(b) Disengage when things are bad
(c) Work with your medical provider, be honest, adjust treatment versus abandoning treatment
(d) Go easy on yourself
(e) Don't spiral
(f) Don't absorb or nourish negativity

Divorce is going to be a bleak, dark, and desolate place. This is true for everyone. But people with mood disorders are going to have trouble with it. You need to really accept this up front. Otherwise, it will be a 2x4 up across the face. You can handle it by preparing. "Expect it to be bad" as a coping strategy. Realize it will get better. There will be setbacks. A set back isn't the end of the world.

Divorce doesn't last forever. It might be a couple of years tho.

As far as dating, there are worst things to be than bipolar. Bipolar entered pop culture and kicked off name calling. Flawed people love it because of specificity. "Yeah, I'm messed up. But look at this guy. He's bipolar." Most do so with ignorance. They would not be able to tell you the difference between bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder and might even confuse the diagnoses. Nor would they be able to say what the DSM-5 is. So don't buy into the stigma.

There are no angels anywhere in this world. Everyone has their demons. And really, not giving up is the trick.

Title	How to cope with losing custody?
Author	jambazaza540
Upvotes	5
Comments	7
Date	July 3, 2024 5:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1duk9ng/how_to_cope_with_losing_custody/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-cope-with-losing-custody.1523147 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523147

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