Stay or divorce

captainchippsixx · 2024-07-25T15:27:58+00:00

Go to an early grave is the option you are picking by staying. Why don’t you see a lawyer first and play the long game. Collect evidence that sways custody in your favor.

No-Profit-1027 · 2024-07-25T15:21:56+00:00

Sorry you are going through this. The word narcissist is used so commonly these days that without context, it loses its meaning.

Have you tried counseling? Will it be worth it for you to lose custody of your children as you suggest? Divorce is a very very difficult process. Only you knows what is best for you. Your kids need you in their lives.

grimxluna4ever · 2024-07-25T15:21:38+00:00

I stayed. She used me up. Discarded me in May. Was in her works for a year and a half. She got prepared. Had her single support system set up. Hid money. Had a plan. Then dropped it on me and the kids like it was a bill. But I was dad. For as long as I could. I got one out of high school into college. Didn't quite make it with the younger. Two years short. We had some great times though. Basically she just worked me to death and took the credit. Mine stbxw is BPD but they share similar qualities. But that's what I chose. I just wanted the kids to grow up with both parents. I loved her with all my heart. But I knew at some point this would happen. It's what they do. I'm crushed regardless. They get their hooks in you. Deeper and deeper. It's a really hard choice. I just loved my kids that much. And I loved her So I chose to try.

vladsuntzu · 2024-07-25T15:14:11+00:00

We need more information. She’s a narcissist but what was the series of events that led to this desire for divorce? Also, why do you think you would lose custody of your children and not see your kids?

FADITY7559 · 2024-07-25T15:58:23+00:00

I divorced a narcissist. Counseling didn’t work because according to her, I was 100% the problem and nothing was her fault. The counselor disagreed but can’t make her come to the sessions, so basically a waste of time and money. The divorce process was absolute hell and took almost 3 years to finalize from the day I filed. I agree with the comment I read that refers you to a lawyer to see what you need to do to sway custody to you instead of her. Luckily both of my kids were out on their own when I filed. I waited until they left to file. Some advise that I wish I had gotten prior to my divorce: 1) make sure she has a job to lessen/eliminate any alimony you may have to pay. 2) if there are any assets you want after the divorce, give them away now … to someone you absolutely trust to give them back after the divorce. My ex gave away the marital 50% share of a condo we helped her mother buy. Her mom had the other 50%. She gave our 50% to someone and then a day later hit me with a Pendente Lite order barring either of us from getting rid of assets. The 50% moved back to her the month after the divorce was final. 3) Repeat the following to yourself EVERY DAY: “If you’re going thru Hell, keep going.” Quote by Sir Winston Churchill. 4) Remember, the rest of the assets are only stuff. It can be replaced if needed. The kids are the important thing here.

Title	Stay or divorce
Author	zen_4838728
Upvotes	4
Comments	8
Date	July 25, 2024 2:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ebwx43/stay_or_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stay-or-divorce.1525288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525288

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