How to vet (and when) if man wants a marriage and kids in the future?

Significant-Crab-771 · 2024-07-27T12:04:59+00:00

ask them

Hot_Blacksmith_3404 · 2024-07-27T14:22:13+00:00

I like to cover deal breaker stuff like this on the first or second date. Usually if I wait til date two the guy ends up beating me to this. It’s in their interest to make sure you’re aligned on this as well.

Jenneapolis · 2024-07-27T15:33:24+00:00

Read surrendered single and getting to I do.

pieorstrudel5 · 2024-07-27T13:18:51+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/B10RQOgSKG

Literally, we have a guide.

pieorstrudel5 · 2024-07-27T13:23:16+00:00

And another....

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/8WTFmd4eGE

youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-07-27T15:31:28+00:00

Due to cultural context and knowing each other already, we knew we were only dating to find a future husband or wife and father or mother of our children. We mostly talked finances and if our religious views were compatible on the first date (and we fed a wild turkey we ran across). We discussed things like how many kids, the kids' education, and how long a timeline before marriage we wanted 1-2 weeks in.

Independent-Story883 · 2024-07-27T20:26:51+00:00

1) On dating apps: I would just drop a line in my bio. Maybe something humorous like :

“ My cringey mom told me to put this here: Hope to start a family in the next 5 years.”

“ I guess I am in my Marriage-minded era...”

This would be a forward enough to scare most away. Open and light hearted enough for the curious gentleman to start early conversation via chat or facetime without investment into a date/short relationship trial. If a potential date ignored such a forward statement and just commented on a bikini pic- well. there is your flag.

2) After few dates of his choosing, I would recommend places where there may be high proportion of kids/families of all ages. Going on these dates really gets the conversation started about child rearing. I would let him lead the conversations here. Don't be super sensitive about random comments:

A walk around a park with playground A religious festival that might have a childrens fair Outdoor music festivals A broadway show/ play centered around a childrens tale A trip to a local amusement park

A date like this is fun, he can't be on guard the entire time. But beccareful - neither will you be. If he has strong thoughts and convictions - it will show. . For me —-cutting the kids off in a line, snatching a kid up by his shirt for cutting him off in a line or looking around and saying “ thank goodness I will not be having kids in the next 5 yrs” would be big flags 😜

Child rearing is complex. Even you may change your mind on how to raise kids. Pay attention to strong declarations but other than that, if he wants kids and seems open to a soonish timeline. I would declare the kid box checked and move on.

3) Marriage vetting: For me would take the form of asking about marriages he admires- they could be celebrity but bonus points if they are marriages he has encountered personally and interacts with often. This open the door on what he feels is a good marriage, his fears, if he thinks good marriages are a realistic possibility. Listen don't criticize his answers. Pay attention to your spidey senseses

Have fun with life.

pieorstrudel5 · 2024-07-27T11:54:39+00:00

I searched vetting in the sub....

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/s/m8a4dUFtM9

AutoModerator · 2024-07-27T10:46:21+00:00

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youllknowwhenitstime · 2024-08-01T03:04:12+00:00

On the first or second date you have the "What are your plans for the future" conversation. Use some common sense here - a 25 minute coffee date where you're just trying to figure out if you even like each other may not get to actual conversation. But it's definitely appropriate by the first dinner date, even if that's the first date.

"What are your plans for the future" opens the door to discuss desired: - Career Progression - Location - Family

Which are all often major deal breakers.

Title	How to vet (and when) if man wants a marriage and kids in the future?
Author	Eliszka
Upvotes	8
Comments	25
Date	July 27, 2024 10:46 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1eddior/how_to_vet_and_when_if_man_wants_a_marriage_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-vet-and-when-if-man-wants-a-marriage-and.1525476 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525476

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