How should I make it clear to my boyfriend that I do not agree to a 50/50 relationship after this situation?

CountTheBees · 2024-07-29T03:01:56+00:00

I don't get the feeling that he has a 50/50 relationship in mind, I get the feeling he had an issue come up and asked for your help with it and you refused to help him. This isn't about 50/50 it's about you not playing on his team.

Any man would have the expectation that if he had a problem, he could come to his spouse with it and receive both understanding and actual help. Neither was forthcoming in this instance.

I'd be less worried about 50/50 and more worried about being demoted to plate.

pieorstrudel5 · 2024-07-29T05:26:34+00:00

You have come to us before about this relationship.

You have never met face to face and at that time you were struggling to get him to even call you regularly or to make plans to meet.

So it looks like he finally planned the trip. Great! But now y'all are having miscommunication about expenses.

I am not really sure why you are so hell bent on making this man your priority.

I don't think it's unreasonable for a man to ask a woman he has never met to help pay for it. But if he promised to take care of it and is now back pedaling.... That should give you a lot of pause.

yktvvvvvvvvvv · 2024-07-29T10:45:45+00:00

Honestly, I know it’s not nice that he even asked, but you stated your perspective and he respected it and will continue to cover the trip.

I don’t think you should clarify anything because his actions mean more than his words. Make sure you’re super appreciative and say how spoiled he makes you feel and how hard working he is for making this trip a reality when he was hit with unexpected expenses.

Also observe how he behaves on the trip. Because you haven’t met in person, you haven’t experienced whether he’d confidently pick up a bill on dates and other small expenses that come with dating.

aussiedollface2 · 2024-07-30T04:29:57+00:00

I think you need to meet him in person, then go from there. Don’t get too invested when you haven’t even met him yet.

AutoModerator · 2024-07-29T02:29:02+00:00

Title: How should I make it clear to my boyfriend that I do not agree to a 50/50 relationship after this situation?

Author Spicy_Pineapple_437

Full text: So my boyfriend (36m) and I (25f) have been in a LDR since January. We video call each week and are planning to meet in two weeks.

I’m the one who will be travelling and I only accepted it because he offered to pay for the whole trip. A few days ago I wanted to make sure of this being an unusual situation for me and I also mentioned to him that I have no money to contribute. He said he happily paid for everything. I just wanted to know if we were on the same page being this a vulnerable situation for me (but I will bring emergency money from my parents and my two credit cards).

But today he told me that if I wanted he could give me a job and I could contribute to my flights (we met me working remotely for him). I was disappointed by this… He himself gave me a job so that I would pay for part of the flights that he offered to pay for along with the whole trip? Me being the one travelling and paying for part of my flight? I told him no, that I valued more the fact of him taking care of it. He told me that he suggested it just because of a very high tax bill that came to him and finally ended up telling me not to worry, that he would sort it out.

Is this a red flag? I feel disappointed that he told me that. Should I clarify and tell him that I don't agree with a 50/50 relationship after this?

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BudgetInteraction811 · 2024-07-29T23:31:19+00:00

I would not continue the relationship; to me that shows a lack of integrity to promise covering the trip and then backpedaling right beforehand by asking you to pay him back. He’s also 11 years older than you and one bill set him back like that? Plus you haven’t even met the guy yet.

Elegant-Bowler9516 · 2024-08-01T09:03:01+00:00

Probably wants to see if you’re just trying to use him as a bank idk.

Hibiscuscoffee_ · 2024-07-29T12:10:54+00:00

I understand why you feel wary as would I tbh, as he is significantly older than you he should know that it is expected (as you mentioned) that he provides. Him providing some solution with you getting a job is a red flag to me, also him mentioning the high tax bill is another red flag. In my era of courtship, the men who tell you about how expensive something is or try to get you to chip in aren’t the providers. Keep your eyes peeled and go on this trip if you must but be careful

Cinnamon_Roll_22 · 2024-07-29T15:51:09+00:00

Personally I would see it as a red flag. And I’d be worried to fly out there and keep having things like this come up. Like wtf? honestly….Im 35f and I can tell you things are better for me when I learned to be very clear about my expectations after ending up in so many shit situations. Safe yourself the “what if” headache and be direct before you go all the way out there luv. Be safe and well prepared incase he really doesn’t really got you covered 100%. This would leave me weary and I am worried for you he’s gonna keep playing games with you and the $ like that.

Title	How should I make it clear to my boyfriend that I do not agree to a 50/50 relationship after this situation?
Author	Spicy_Pineapple_437
Upvotes	0
Comments	16
Date	July 29, 2024 2:29 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1eeoj0s/how_should_i_make_it_clear_to_my_boyfriend_that_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-should-i-make-it-clear-to-my-boyfriend-that-i.1525638 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525638

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