Anyone else not interested in dating anymore?

scrotumofthanos · 2024-08-06T13:30:57+00:00

I mean, I've been single for the last 8 years-ish? I've tried and possibly not tried hard enough since my last serious relationship. I'm open to it if it happens, but at the same time I can see where you're coming from. There's nothing wrong with dipping out for a while and focusing on yourself whether that be a long term goal, a hobby, more money etc and then coming back to dating later when you think you might be willing to give it another go. Just for some insight, how old are you?

surrealstrength · 2024-08-06T14:32:21+00:00

My last big breakup was in 2022 and since then I've had some hit and runs here and there but nothing really meaningful or deep. I too think I'm much not happy alone sometimes

midnightGR · 2024-08-06T17:09:05+00:00

I too feel the same way and I've been single for the last 5 years. Which is not a bad thing necessarily. In fact there are more positives than negatives. I needed to focus on myself and my future anyway. And I honestly still feel tired to start something new. I am not the guy that appears as mysterious and all the other bshit women want. Its so boring to me to be that way.

Vivaelpueblo · 2024-08-06T19:06:39+00:00

I broke up with my long term partner 18 years ago and since then I've just had awful relationships where I was the one who wanted something substantial and they didn't but wouldn't be honest about it. It's been over a year now that I've been completely alone. I have no family, my parents have both been dead many years now, have no siblings and honestly, few friends.

It sucks and it's not how I imagined my life would pan out. No kids, no family, no company, nothing. I'm due to retire soon (I dislike my work) and I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that I'll probably never connect closely with anyone ever again and will wither away with age and die alone. It's depressing and life seems pointless and meaningless.

My last relationship was extremely toxic so I'm just not willing to take the risk any more. Never had any success online and offline the romantic partners I've met, have all been frankly disastrous.

There you have it. No doubt I'm not blameless in this but I've never treated others as appallingly as I've been treated by girlfriends.

Poly_and_RA · 2024-08-06T16:27:51+00:00

It depends a bit on what you mean by "dating".

If you mean the stereotypical thing where you find strangers on some kinda dating-app or other dating-centered space, and then you arrange and go on a number of "dates" with them where the sole goal is to judge whether or not you're compatible as sexual and/or romantic partners -- then yes, I'm not interested in that. I have the same experience you have: it's a lot of effort in time, in mental bandwith and sometimes in money, and it exceedingly rarely results in anything worthwhile. Pass.

But on the flip side I'm VERY much into meeting and getting to know people by way of shared hobbies, activities, subcultures and interests. And on those occasions where I have excellent chemistry with some of the people I meet this way, I'm absolutely open to the possibility that we might become more than friends.

The difference is, if I go windsurfing, or hiking, or hang out and discuss parenting-issues on a subreddit or whatever; my GOAL isn't to find a partner. Instead my goal is that I enjoy the activity for it's own sake. If I meet nobody that I have chemistry with; that's perfectly fine and indeed what happens most of the time. No time, money or effort is wasted.

But sometimes I *do* meet people I have good chemistry with, and when that happens, I'm not going to reject the idea that we could potentially enjoy being close in some way or other. (I'm polyamorous, so the spectrum of ways we could be close, is a lot larger for me than just either "100% platonic friends" or else "all in romantic/sexual partners")

As an example, next week I'm going hiking with a woman I originally met right here on Reddit, in a sub dedicated to fatherhood, of all things. But we got along well and discovered that we have a shared interest in hiking, so that's what we'll do.

At the moment we're what I guess you can describe as friends with cuddle-benefits, and that's perfectly awesome. If we end up simply remaining that, then that'd be 100% to my liking. At the same time, sure I'm open to the idea that it's also possible that we might become more than that.

FL_4LF · 2024-08-06T20:35:33+00:00

If I get back to the dating pool, I'm happy to have an fwb. Otherwise I won't waste my time, or money.

Zeebuss · 2024-08-06T22:33:25+00:00

Homie I've been single since the Pandemic and simply feel no desire to bother with it. I've cultivated such a peaceful life with myself and my pets, and every time I think about the pain and drama associated with dating or god-forbid swiping I just feel glad to not be doing it anymore.

friskycat · 2024-08-07T22:27:28+00:00

I do have a desire to have a partner, but I don’t have the heart to put up with dating. Fuck dating. I have a steady job already. I don’t need to apply for another one, and for what? I don’t want kids, I have a steady and fulfilling life. Why fuck with it? I mean if I vibe with the connection, sure, but it’s so rare when connection is not predicated on conditional qualifications. I like the idea of working with someone to build a partnership to improve our lives together… but at this point in my life, the cost is too great to compromise what I’ve worked for all my life.

darbycrash-666 · 2024-08-06T20:59:14+00:00

My last relationship wasn't healthy so I'm taking a break. I am interested in dating again eventually but right now I'd prefer to be by myself.

crujones33 · 2024-08-06T22:29:36+00:00

I’ve flipped back and forth on it. I get overwhelmed by all of the info and advice I read online and it makes me not want to date or get into a relationship. But i see so many great relationships around me and i want that. Plus I still want kids if possible. My last relationship had good parts but not enough for forever.

tank65612 · 2024-08-07T12:07:35+00:00

Its been about 8-9 years since last relationship, which was high school. I started focusing in schooling and career, but dating went to hell since then.

I have had a few dates, but ultimately I am not interested in most of the people on these apps. I also have my 8-9 years of walls being built and I dont do anything exciting, so I feel like I come across as standoffish and very boring. Plus online dating sucks anyway but I dont feel like I have much if an option given capitalisms war against third spaces and happiness.

I want to date, but I am lucky to even match with anyone and frankly I am starting to think I have too many personal issues (including finances, lets be real, economies are tanking) that keep me from trying to go out. And continued failed experiences make me want to avoid it, so that is only adding bricks to the walls

I am tired of working hard and only having my cat to come home to. I want to have someone to come home to and start a family with, but that is becoming one of the many childhood dreams that I need to let go of. Its one of the many things that gives me a “directionless” feeling, which makes waking up and working very difficult when I do not know why I am doing it. It is clearly not for myself.

Rassilon182 · 2024-08-10T11:51:56+00:00

I’d say I was a serial monogamist most of my life. After separating from my most recent ex of 8 years who I had kids with, I’ve had zero interest in dating or attempting to establish another relationship. I’m enjoying my peace and space far too much to give it up. The odd hook up is enough to keep me satisfied.

Take some time to focus on you. Enjoy this time and build your wealth, health and happiness. You’ll likely know when the time is right to start dating again and by that point you’ll have worked on you so much that you’ll have a far better time making a healthy connection.

Title	Anyone else not interested in dating anymore?
Author	Clean_Theme_1332
Upvotes	33
Comments	13
Date	August 6, 2024 11:56 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/1elftnv/anyone_else_not_interested_in_dating_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/anyone-else-not-interested-in-dating-anymore.1526487 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526487

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