I’m in my early 30s and my wife is soon to be in her 30s. No kids.

We got married under rather traditional circumstances (mostly pressured by in-laws but I thought she might be the one at the time so I went with it). I’m a very independent man, been so since I was a kid, but she is not. She comes from a reasonably comfortable family and some would call her even spoilt. There may lay the reason of her barely cooking, cleaning, helping with other chores. I do not mind doing those things by myself and for myself but when I feel like I need to cater to another person while still working a full time job, it agitates me.

That’s another trigger.

She has had some bad experiences with her previous jobs where she was yelled at by her boss and made to feel insignificant (understandable, but that happens to a lot of people) to a point where she actually refuses to work anymore and does not think that she needs to go on government welfare. She had gathered a fair few mental problems from that that she loves to give out as reasons not to work or do much else. And I feel like she manipulates arguments with those issued as well.

I work and try to save to see my family back home (we live abroad) but it’s a hill that’s hard to climb these days if there is only one income and the other part does not know how or even care to save, or there are sudden unfortunate and unexpected events that drain the savings account. And if I can barely save up for an overseas trip, our own home, sufficient savings and buying what I want for myself (she buys what she wants) are out of the question.

I feel like I am not as emotionally available for her as she would want me to be. She wants me to be someone I’m not.

And honestly, lately I do not even care to amend fights or situations as I get to have some alone time out of that.

There are numerous of other issues I slowly am starting to despise about her but I do not feel comfortable discussing here.

My friends (there are some left) always subtly give me the raised eyebrows if I explain to them why she doesn’t have a job to help support me, why she doesn’t want to cook or do anything that is remotely independent.

I’m just tired now and often dream of starting over and living by myself. Even taking time off from dating just to focus on making myself happy, before trying to make others happy.

I’m not solely responsible for other people’s happiness.

Sorry if some paragraphs don’t make sense, I’m not a native English speaker, but I hope the point gets across enough.