Dealing with guilt for former self

Nervous_Run_7621 · 2024-09-04T22:26:37+00:00

I used to deal with really intense chronic guilt that was so bad I was unable to get out of bed. What you need to do is accept. Accept that you have done bad things. Everyone has. Accept that you used to hold toxic beliefs. Accept that there is nothing you can do to change these facts.

I am not the person I used to be, but I do carry her with me. I accept her for who she was and I am determined to never be like her again. I accept that even though I WAS a bad person, I am not that person anymore. Some days are more difficult than others, and I do still feel guilty on those days. Healing is not linear and the truth is, human beings are incredibly complex. Everyone has done things they regret. Give yourself grace. No amount of guilt will change the past.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-09-04T21:02:51+00:00

You need to understand what guilt is for. Guilt isn't for people to forever beat up on themselves. Its for people to learn from their mistakes and change. Its also for people to atone to wrong done to other individuals. Once you have done those things this emotion has served its purpose and its maladaptive if its still there. If its still there practice meditation and mindfulness to create distance from it.

LazyDaisyCake · 2024-09-04T20:11:37+00:00

You gotta check out this video. I love this therapist.

GladysSchwartz23 · 2024-09-04T21:14:44+00:00

Good people feel bad about having done bad things. But in order to have a sense of self respect and sanity, that has to be integrated with a larger sense of yourself as a person: who you are, who you were, who you want to be. It's really hard to maintain a balance in a society where people from all political and ideological angles are eager to tell you that you're worthless and disposable.

I don't know what the secret is to achieving that balance -- sometimes I find myself staring at the shower wall thinking of something stupid and mean I said twenty years ago and drowning in shame. I don't know how to pull out of it, myself, but I do know that beyond a certain point, atonement is just self indulgence and doing good to balance out the bad is how we make the world a better place, and feel less shit about ourselves.

Good luck, and keep being better! Nobody is disposable, no matter what you've done.

Jsteezy47 · 2024-09-08T15:46:32+00:00

Honestly it’s not easy but I’ve learned to forgive myself. My self reflection and introspection is what made me aware of my past actions, it’s natural to be ashamed of it. For me I got screwed over by women a bunch of times (not to sound bitter but it’s true) and eventually that made the redpill more susceptible to me. It was natural for me to feel bitter and jaded bc of past wrongdoings and the redpill played on that. Making me add to the toxicity through being a fuckboy and very dishonest. As long as you make sure to forgive yourself and make better decisions, as time passes by you’ll be less harsh on yourself. At least in my experience, peace yo!!

Sagecerulli · 2025-04-15T03:24:18+00:00

Maybe check out these guys? Life After Hate

(The website is trying to reach people who are more extreme than you are describing ... but the same principles may apply).

Also remember that we are tiny little humans who were meant to live in small communities living in a vast technological world that's full of confusing information designed to play on our deepest fears and desires. It can happen to anyone.

Title	Dealing with guilt for former self
Author	KitchenRevenue4042
Upvotes	7
Comments	11
Date	September 4, 2024 7:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1f92yny/dealing_with_guilt_for_former_self/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/dealing-with-guilt-for-former-self.1529403 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529403

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