Marriage been going down the hill for past few years. I took everything in for the kids and for my parents. As long as everyone was happy, I was alright.

Things started going bad slowly over the years ( 8 year married ). It's all about control, house rules, disrespect towards my parents, redundant requests, no ability to save, slowly went from full time to casual work while I am doing overtime. I was ok with everything as long as my kid is taken care of and my parents can enjoy their grandchild.

Lately the circle becomes tighter, parents cannot visit as often, more rules. I noticed that over the years I became very quiet at home, don't talk much and avoid conflict. She said if something bothering me, we should talk about it, but as soon as I try, yelling starts. She has an excuse for everything and she is always right, she is always the victim.

I have been observing this group for quit a while, as the thought of divorce or separation have been my only hope to have a better life one day.

Well this week I am looking for a lawyer and getting a game plan. I am terrified and anxious. I am worried for kid's well being in terms of moving him back and fourth. I am worried about my ability to provide and support myself. I am worried about what is going to happen with my living arrangements. I am worried about my personal life. How am I supposed to start again at 40?

I saw the signs early in marriage and I decided to avoid them, to take it. When I was about to leave, my kid was born. Than, my kid was the only reason to stay. When I am with him, nothing really matters.

I am very close to my parents as well. They are not young and sometimes I need to help them out. I feel bad that towards their retirement they have to witness this. She slowly built a wall, trying to separate me from them. Sometimes they are not easy to get a long with, but what can I do, they are my parents, and I am obligated to take care of them. We can host parties for her side, but got forbid my parents show uninvited.

Anyways, lately fighting been very bad. I am mostly quiet at home. Don't want to talk or see anyone. But I know I have to act. Sooner or later it will be ugly.

I am here to ask for any advice you can think of giving me. I know once I open the divorce box things will start very ugly. I am extremely worried about how it's going to affect my kid(3yo). I meant for a short and straight to the post, but ended up spilling everything I am thinking. Just will leave it as is.

Sorry to add: I am from Ontario. We both capable of making equal amount of money, but she chooses not to work as much. House under my name only, and I pay for everything.