I, 45M, am leaving my wife, 40F, because I want to do something different with our lives because it's not working and she won't support me. I don't know if she even loves me.

LimJayee · 2026-01-15T19:30:52+00:00

Like you the finances are all their, just been invalidated since my daughter was born, she was the breadwinner, then my business did well, I have a few bucks saved in Chase and others, IM paying the mortgage, she makes 120k a year but shes a school teacher and they live in a bubble, we have not been "together" really for so many years, I worked 6 days a week, I did ANYTHING financially I could, my whole life with her its been paycheck to paycheck, I THOUGHT having this financially but its not really helping, everyday Im getting a new bill, I feel like all I did was save for nothing, I could have been spending the money on counseling but I swear to God I think this was past 45 minutes a week, we need to find other again, she wants us to strart dating again :(

Particular_Mix_4160 · 2024-10-17T02:06:09+00:00

Hey I’m a divorced man from a cheating wife and I’m kinda siding with your wife here. You’re 45 with children. You lose a lot of freedom when you became a father and one of your obligations is to financially support your family. You said that you want to move to a cheaper area to make films. You only want to work part time. You’re 45.

I don’t know your financial situation. Maybe you come from a family in money. Who knows? You quit your job and became depressed and after 2 weeks, your wife nagged you to get a job. I don’t know but that sounds reasonable to me.

Not loving you for you. I don’t even know what that means. So, I’m sorry; she might have a point

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-10-16T19:16:55+00:00

OP, first, why didn’t you just go on LTD before quitting? Second, not surprised at your wife’s reaction at all. No matter what is said by society, a woman will not love you as much as you love her, full stop. They are self-centred by nature.

koboboba · 2024-10-16T15:03:52+00:00

Many women marry just to use the man, why would you stay with someone who sees you as nothing but an ATM? If she's so stressed about money she should get a 2nd job.

henrysmyagent · 2024-10-16T06:04:29+00:00

You were never more than a utility to her. A beast of burden. Something to extract labor and money from. An ATM that can also mow the lawn.

Now that you are unemployed, that makes you a broken ATM to her, so why bother to fix it?

Most men only ever learn how little their wives value them until illness or job loss prevents them from earning money.

I am sorry you are finding this out so late in life, but do not despair. A new and better life awaits you after you excise the parasite that has been sucking money and joy out of your life.

GarbanzoBenne · 2024-10-16T02:19:59+00:00

She's never valued you or ten years of the most beautiful loving marriage? Which is it? Sounds like something changed and you're rewriting history to help justify what you're planning to do.

I find it interesting that something changed in her after she lost her job and she refused to stop hurting you, then you also suffered a mental break and are refusing to make changes until she proves she loves you.

Sounds like you are both broken and your plan to become a YouTuber sounds a bit like a midlife crisis. Your therapist hasn't noticed that?

I missed the part where you tried getting outside relationship help. Couples therapy is a mixed bag, but there's a ton of good programs, books, coaches, and therapists out there. If you've done that and it failed, then I'm sorry for making an assumption. But if you both haven't done anything aside from making demands on each other, you at least owe it to each other to try something different. That will require you both change.

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