Seeking advice

upvotersfortruth · 2024-11-01T07:17:48+00:00

Dear Community Members, If you can’t be constructive, don’t post. OP didn’t cheat on you. Thanks.

Gattsama · 2024-11-01T12:04:53+00:00

If you love in a no-fault state, which is the norm, then all communal assets and debts are to be split 50/50. IF you choose to take less, that's up to you. You are legally entitled to a 50/50 split, and cheating is irrelevant to the final dissolution.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2024-11-01T09:03:12+00:00

50/50 is the standard for splitting assets and debts.

Having said that and considering the high cost of litigation with an attorney and the delay in getting a litigated result sometimes it is worth it to accept something less if it merely is a bad haircut that you will soon grow out of.

Finality does give peace of mind which has it own value.

You are the only one that can decide this choice

upvotersfortruth · 2024-11-01T07:34:35+00:00

Generally speaking, everything should be split more or less equally. If you want to take moral and financial responsibility out of a sense of guilt or whatever, you can do that but it is not typically a legal requirement unless you burned money that was owned by both of you on your paramour(s).

If both of you proceed without a lawyer, your chances of getting what you want are higher than if she has a lawyer and you don't.

The real problem is with your strategy, which can turn a glowing ember into a raging inferno. Back tracking on an agreement when she already may be harboring significant resentment and kind of "letting you off easy" is how divorce nightmares begin. Because every dollar she gets is a dollar you don't, you need to begin by asking for more than you think is fair, then negotiating back to fair.

That said, no matter your sins, you don't deserve to become destitute with no financial future. If you gave away the farm in a moment of weakness or emotion, it may be painful to work your way back closer to fair but you'll need to do it if you want to survive financially.

Title	Seeking advice
Author	Pretend_Line6688
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	November 1, 2024 6:53 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ggzik7/seeking_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/seeking-advice.1534029 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534029

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