I'm 26, used to run through girls 18-21 and had delusional confidence and was abusive, but I've lost some of that confidence going through life, and I've been feeling like a loser. I'm in shape, decent attractive, nice jaw, good at socializing (waiter), have some hobbies, but I've been feeling lost in life which I think has affected me, and I haven't had any connection in a while.

I get compliments and cute notes at work from girls, but I'm just so in my head that I haven't pursued anyone, or I'm afraid to open up because I had a traumatic childhood, and also I don't want to open up and have her leave or be unloyal. I really just want a companion I feel safe to share with, I don't even care about sex anymore. And I always hear these hoe stories from coworkers and girlfriends that makes me even more jaded and angry at women for being like that. I've also gone through some things recently with family and being addicted to drugs that affected me.