[Serious] Not able to gauge her intentions due to lack of communication

SL1210M5G · 2024-11-17T04:42:49+00:00

Bro, do not send that message. Just ignore her and move on. Maybe then she'll come back around. It sucks but literally the only way to win is to stop caring. If she suggests a date, tell her you're busy.

therealwoujo · 2024-11-17T06:31:26+00:00

Its not your job to read her mind. Judge her by her actions. Is she working for your validation? Reward her. If not, move on.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-11-17T05:27:58+00:00

You should change the title to “we agreed to go slow but I actually want to go fast”
How is it humiliating and it’s bad behavior on her part when she’s non committal about it? Did she cancel the date? If she did then yes she disrespect you and your time. But if not then it sounds like you’ve invested far more than she has. Please stop that, you’re mentally hurting yourself with all that idea and that investment in your head.
It’s only “1st date” stage, in a long term relationship that barely means anything. It’s not like you both are already exclusive and she fails to commit and do her “girlfriend” role. At this point she’s not obligated to fulfill anything for you. If I were you I wouldn’t tell her that kinda “bad behavior” line, almost feels like you’re trying to guilt-trip her.

Informal_Sherbert251 · 2024-11-17T05:32:43+00:00

Hey look. When the right one comes your way and it’s the right time, they make it work together. So if you think she’s “The one to marry” then stick with it. If you are about actual seduction and not ready to really settle down. Softly say not until she’s actually gonna give you a day. Cause you are the prize. Not her. If she’s not ready to put in the work as you are gonna put in to the relationship you want, then bounce cause there really is an ocean full of fish. Doesn’t matter if she’s exotic, one of a kind, the only one that’ll do this. Etc. Someone else will do something else that will make you forget about this one. So make your decision on if this is a fish worth bbq’n with or just let that fish go and cast again.

WhatsTheAnswerDude · 2024-11-17T06:02:37+00:00

So I have a saying basically for this when a girl just basically drops off.

What's the difference between....you ghosting me....and you not contacting me back or really communicating back cause you maybe had something going and just didn't tell me?

I will be perceive BOTH of those in the same manner.

I can't even fully remember this saying myself but I've had to tell it to multiple people this year. Basically it's that you actively ghosting....and you not proactively telling me what's going on and kinda leaving me in the dark still leaves me with the same result....you don't give a shit. Actively ghosting and ACTIVELY NOT COMMUNICATING are the same God damn thing.

I'll edit this if I remember it better later.

Now she did tell you she'd be busy which some might say it's okay but then, if she's really that busy why is she dating?

Someone ghosting you, and someone being "too busy" to literally contact you back are the same effing thing at the end of the day.

And again, I get people get busy but dude....no one does this shit with someone they genuinely care about. A text doesn't even take a minute to say, "sorry today has been super busy with xyz but I still think of (xyz moment/thing) with/of you and I'd love to see you this weekend" or "I think I can, I will confirm Thursday after I know more about a work project/thing coming down."

Hell, she could literally call you just to talk for five minutes to see how your day was gojng/so you knew she was still thinking of you and didn't forget.

NO ONE goes more than a damn few days without communicating something back if they give a shit.

I never understood why people just let this type of behavior go and think it's weak to call it out. I kinda get it but nah, u wanna be in my life u need to be consistent. EVEN if that means I know I'll only hear from u once a week, at least its consistent and I know what to expect.

Also do u really want something with someone that acts like this towards you? Probably not.

I'd maybe say something like this, but I feel like even doing it will turn her off but that's also part of the point in a manner (if she takes it that way). Don't fight for the bare scraps of someone's attention. In my opinion WAY too many people don't check people when they pull bs like ynis either. Maybe if they did people.would stop doing it.

"So this seems to be dropping off? I know you've said you're busy with (xyz thing) but I also want someone that can communicate with me as well. I completely understand you have bigger priorities than me and i absolutely support that, thats fine. But i want to confirm and verify you were still interested and wanting to make this work. The inconsistent communication makes me think you're not that interested or able to."

Dandys3107 · 2024-11-17T08:52:09+00:00

You can be simply incompatible. Stop taking initiative for a while to check how much she is involved and how much she wants to pursue developing your relation. Then look for a better match.

Dwerg1 · 2024-11-17T08:54:28+00:00

Whether she's actually busy or using it as an excuse is ultimately irrelevant, either way she's too unavailable for you.

Do you know what many women do in this situation that you should do too? Disengage because of low interest.

If you want to keep it open for the future DO NOT send a negative message describing how you consider it bad behavior and how hurt you feel. You've only had a first date, you're not in a relationship where this type of communication may work. Besides, it's a bad way to frame it anyways, accusatory rather than taking responsibility for how you perceive and feel things. Might be why your previous relationship failed.

Your best course of action here is to let it go silently and do something/someone else, then you can reconsider if she reaches back out to you if you're still open for it.

Apprehensive_Day_96 · 2024-11-17T11:42:41+00:00

Whether she is busy or not, it takes 20 seconds to send a response to your text. And if you were someone she had interest in and wanted to pursue further- trust me she would. No one is busy 24/7, i mean come on. Its an excuse and its a terrible excuse that people use when they are not interested and hope that you just slowly fade off.

Title	[Serious] Not able to gauge her intentions due to lack of communication
Author	japef98
Upvotes	1
Comments	29
Date	November 17, 2024 4:34 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gt5qjm/serious_not_able_to_gauge_her_intentions_due_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/serious-not-able-to-gauge-her-intentions-due-to.1536010 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536010

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