Need your guidance

Informal-Hippo-9272 · 2024-11-22T19:41:18+00:00

Do what I do to avoid overthinking: countdown from 3, 2, 1, and GO. On go, just go and say hi and blank your mind.

Western-Month-3877 · 2024-11-22T16:52:30+00:00

Good thing that you already self-analyzed yourself, so you are on the right path there.

To answer your questions:

I’m a corporate slave too like you, so I know how it kinda feels. Self analyzing, at times overthinking. About the worries what if she does this and that; get this: ALL that we do and what happens in this world are about probability. Is there a chance she’s gonna yell at you? Of course. But the probability is slim. Especially if you are not being tacky or vulgar when doing that. I can count with my fingers how many times I got shut down harshly by women, but overall that’s like less than 1% of total feedback I’ve got when I approach.
Fantasizing is another thing, I would discourage you to do that very often.

First because we deal with humans so the real interactions wouldn’t be what we had imagined prior. People are not machines where we put an input then there will be a certain output. There will be pushbacks, shit tests, rejections, flakes and ghostings, all deviated from your fantasies.

Fantasizing your approaches will only get your hopes up expecting great outcomes, then when they get shattered you might end up getting disappointed or even stressed out.

Second; believe it or not fantasizing could be used by guys as a substitute (just like porn or masturbation to sex). It could deceive your brain that you already accomplished something, but that all happens in your mind, not in real life. This might be one of the reasons why you have excuses to not doing the approaches because you’ve done it in your mind. Missions accomplished, dopamine and oxytocin released. What else to pursue right? Feels like a real thing. But it’s not.

epimpstyle · 2024-11-22T19:56:52+00:00

Maybe she's busy.

If this is the case, she will tell you that she is busy. If you do not ask, you have no idea whether what you think is true or not because you cannot read minds.

What if she shouts at me and everyone thinks I'm a creep?

If she shouts, she is a psycho, she is the creepy one, not you. A normal human won't do this unless you are doing some really bad/nasty things.

Am I even good enough to approach her?

Start working on this today, when you've done 3-4 things you'll be proud of yourself and you won't doubt if you're good enough, but actually you'll be asking the opposite: "I know how to play the piano, I've been on a trip, I've had dance/yoga lessons, I go to the gym... would she be intimidated if I told her all these things?"

I'll just approach her next time because I'm in a hurry now.

You know this will never happen, so being 2-3 minutes late is not a tragedy. Only in Japan, if you are 1 minute late, you miss the train.

when I'm about to sleep, I start fantasizing about how I'll approach her, kiss her, and even have sex with her.

You're thinking too far ahead. Imagine you're taking beginners' tennis lessons, but you're worried about whether the Davis Cup is too heavy when you are on a podium. Somewhere at that level you are, and it is absurd. You need to take small steps before you are ready for the big step.

However, your mind is very clever and you will quickly find new excuses.

ReidRich · 2024-11-23T01:01:04+00:00

Sounds like you need to work on your confidence bro hit the gym it’s the best way to become more attractive and gain confidence. As for approaching, just stop overthinking just take three seconds to decide then go no matter what the number one key to approach scoring with girls is confidence. As for what to say you don’t need a script and you’re only hurt yourself by thinking about what to say before hand because when you talk to her there’s gonna need to be massive amounts of flirting and improv. Craig Ferguson is a good example this. And most importantly you can’t be a ladies man and simultaneously have every woman love you at the same time lots of them will think you’re an asshole, it’s part of the game. Just start approaching.

ExpertBig2526 · 2024-11-23T05:37:47+00:00

Your an overthinker. Try an approach. If it doesn’t go well try again. Be yourself.

AcrossTheShimenawa · 2024-11-22T19:47:34+00:00

The pattern of self sabotage emerges as your action following emotions rather than emotion following your actions. Seems counterintuitive? that's fine. We always experience weird emotions when we're trying to learn something new. The difference between guys who succeed and guys that don't is the ability to push past emotional weirdness.

When I was learning there were plenty of women where I didn't exactly feel the spark, or the chemistry, or something "felt" off but I practiced anyways. It was like your corporate job, another day at the office. This made it clear that seduction was just another skill to learn and master. Guys have their ego too invested in it, which inherently creates resistance to seeing it this way, but it's true.

Years later I'm much more picky which women I decide to take home or get into a relationship with. I've become the chooser. I screen out bullshit. The difference between what I do, and what guys who say they do this but can't get laid is this: I can flex my ability but choose not to, they rationalize their inability to perform.

It's restraint vs. coping. And ultimately I get to go to sleep at night knowing it was my choice, while these guys struggle to understand what went wrong.

Back to my original point. If you feel weirdness or some sort of emotional static - do the approach anyways. You'll get to a point where you decide that you feel good and your body will get on board. That's the point where your emotions follow your actions rather than the other way around. That's also when you'll realize all your emotions tied in with approaching (anxiety, butterflies, lack of confidence) are all bs. You peer through the curtain so to speak.

You'll get a cool confidence about you. And shit I still experience approach anxiety, I'm glad I do, because it adds to the fun. The difference is it never dictates my action, and also if an approach doesn't go well I don't really care. Because I know I'll get what I want, maybe not with a specific woman, but with a different one. That is also called abundance.

Ironically, people can feel that I'm less invested in the interaction, I don't need it to work, and this adds gravity to my presence.

Source: - been a coach for 8yrs+ and taught RSD Julien everything he knows.

Title	Need your guidance
Author	krishna977
Upvotes	3
Comments	8
Date	November 22, 2024 4:37 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1gxc0m4/need_your_guidance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-your-guidance.1536561 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536561

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