Do you have a date coming up with a girl, but don’t know what to talk about? 

In this post I will give you 5 different topic ideas you can talk with any girl with each one getting more and more personal, and it will not only give you plenty of stuff to talk about but also allow you to build emotional rapport as the time goes on.

Topic 1 - her work

Start with the basics. If she is a human being, she must do something for a living.

What is it? How did she get into her line of work? Does she want to stay there or does she have a different dream career? What does she like most about her work? What does she hate about it?

This is an easy topic to talk about, very little risk but should help you to get the conversation going.

If she is not working but studies, you can do the same thing. Why that specific subject? Does she want to work in that field or switch to something else?

Topic 2 - fun

We have 24 hours per day and for most people it’s 8 hours for sleep and 8 hours for work. So how does she spend the rest of her 8 hours?

Is she more of a stay at home girl reading a book or going out with friends for a drink, dancing and letting loose?

Does she do any sports? Team or individual? Why that sport specifically?

What’s her method for letting all of the stress go and just zoning out?

Some girls will be very much into yoga and meditation, some will play classic sports like basketball or volleyball, some will take bachata or pottery classes.

Get to know what it is and why she chose that specific hobby.

Topic 3 - her past

So far we have covered the surface level stuff which will be very easy to talk about. Now it’s slowly time to get to the juicy parts.

We all are by-products of our past. The present situation of our lives is like the tip of the iceberg while the past is the massive part underneath.

Talking about her past is great for not only getting to know her, but also for deep rapport.

Where did she grow up? How was her childhood? Did she like it or not? Why?

What was the family situation like? Did she have a good relationship with her parents and siblings? How about now? Are her parents still together?

Was she always like this or as a kid she had a different personality type? What made her change?

Which life experiences had the most impact on her as a person and why?

Topic 4 - relationships

The classic topic for dates. You will cover this pretty much on all first dates you go to.

When was her last relationship and how long did it last? Why did it end? How did she handle the break up?

How many serious boyfriends has she had before? To how many guys she has told that she loved them? How many guys did she truly love?

What are the top 3 personality traits she looks for in a guy? Why those? 

What are the red flags and non negotiables for her? What is the quality she hates in most men?

What does love mean for her? Is she into deep monogamy or she’s open to exploring?

Topic 5 - peak experiences and happiness

90% of the time we spend our lives doing routine stuff - work, sports, cooking, meeting friends etc. But sometimes we have peak experiences - experiences that we experience only a few times in our lives.

This can also tell a lot about the person. So try to find out what those experiences have been for her.

The most exotic place she has travelled?

What drugs she has tried and what was her experience?

The most dangerous life situation she has been into?

Craziest place she has had sex?

Also you can go deeper and ask her on a scale of 1-10 how happy she is? And what’s missing for her to be at 10?

Disclaimers

Disclaimer 1 - This is for rapport, comfort and getting to know her. But this is not flirting

If you only stick to normal, logical type of conversation throughout the date, nothing romantic or sexual will happen.

You might get to know her a lot and she might think you are a great guy, but if you actually want to be more than her friend, you need to flirt. This is beyond the scope of this post, but you can check out my pinned post in my profile to see how to do that.

Disclaimer 2 - You don’t need to cover all of this and there is not a set sequence

I gave you a lot of things and questions you can ask her but don’t go on a date with a checklist of questions you need to ask.

You don’t need to ask her all of this and there is not one best sequence. Every girl and situation is different, so be ready to adapt.

These are all just ideas for you to explore.

Disclaimer 3 - Become a good listener

A girl will open up to you if you shut up and learn how to listen.

Make her feel heard, understood and validate her feelings. Especially when she is sharing something emotional and personal about her.

If she says that her last break up was tough, empathise with her “Yeah, that must have been tough” instead of just asking next what she ate for breakfast.

Disclaimer 4 - Be nonjudgmental

A lot of girls might be a bit too shy to start talking about her personal lives due to fear of being judged - so show them that you are non judgmental.

Obviously to show them you are nonjudgmental, you first need to be nonjudgmental, so learn to not judge other women.

Most girls have had a one night stand or slept with someone on the first date, but if you judge them for it they will not share those experiences with you and certainly they will not do it with you.

Disclaimer 5 - Talk less but share first

A lot of girls also might not be ready to share all of this stuff on the first date, so what I usually do is tell them something personal and embarrassing about myself which then makes them feel more comfortable to share their stuff.

By doing that you can break the ice for the both of you and make it safe for her to also share vulnerable and potentially embarrassing things.

Obviously all the questions I gave you - be ready to talk about them as well, so it doesn’t become a one way interview.

Hope this helps.