Hey guys. I've been reading trp since May and I would really like to say that a lot has changed. But it hasn't to be honest. The one big thing which happend was that I growed a bitter, someday-i-will-be-on-the-top mindset. This huge ambition was eating me alive. Whenever I wanted to rest I had this voice in my had saying: 'If you want to be worth something you need to work your ass off, you little lazy faggot!'. When I was with people and I didn't get enough attention or something would go wrong for me, I would just say in my mind: 'It doesn't matter, cuz one day I will be more important than all those people together and they will see'.

I developed a huge ego. I promised myself that I will do everything I can to be on the top. And slowly I started not to gain friends and attract girls, but to do the opposite. It dawned on me not further than yesterday that I took what is the worst in the pill and my life was not improving at all. So I came back here to reread the sidebar and the post 'How to accept yourself' was a pure gold for me.

I'm not so important. And I used to think that I'm the most valuable human being, or at least it is my fate to be one in the future. It makes sense for me now why gaming is so popular. It gives you a sense that you matter. That you can change the world or at least you can do it one day, if you farm enough.

Anyways, can you guys give me some tips to overcome this mindset and to trurly start not giving a fuck? I faked not giving a fuck for years, while acctualy caring very much about opinions of others. I need to do a 180° and any help is appreciated.