I don’t even know what’s red pill and what isnt any more

meleyys · 2024-12-05T16:49:35+00:00

Advice to present yourself as less invested in the relationship than you are is toxic and will only ever lead to one of two things:

Attracting extremely insecure women.
Women who have a modicum of self-esteem eventually getting pissed and dumping your ass.

Moreover, relationships based on "mystery" are inherently fragile, because they crumble if your partner learns too much about you.

PhyPhillosophy · 2024-12-05T16:56:42+00:00

As you get more invested in a relationship, you need to stop playing games like that, or this is what happens.

Her voicing you not communicating as much was your first clue she was ready for something more serious and for the games to be over.

xvszero · 2024-12-05T17:09:00+00:00

The woman is right. You were playing dumb games and faced the consequences.

No, something about that advice didn't have to be right. She was double / triple texting you and you consider this a good thing? To what end? That was just her getting more and more exasperated, trying to see if she could make this work when it clearly wasn't working. Eventually she accepted that and moved on.

She didn't flip out of nowhere my man. This was all building up because you were treating her like shit. It tends to come to its head all at once, but that doesn't mean it wasn't building. And she literally told you the exact problem. But you ignored her to keep playing dumb games.

Instead of playing games just approach stuff like a rational, empathetic human being. You like someone and they like you? Cool, communicate with each other. You don't need stupid rules meant to manipulate female emotions or whatever. Even if they worked (which as you know, they don't) you would still end up with a shit relationship because it's not based on anything real.

Now, with that said, there is still general dating advice that makes sense. Like don't text someone 80 times in anger because they didn't respond to your 1 text an hour ago. Etc.

Just be chill but show interest.

Wild-Judgment-404 · 2024-12-06T00:30:15+00:00

You need to stop approaching relationships with mind games. To keep a relationship going, you both talk. Someone who gets mad at you for not replying for a few hours or spams you is definitely insecure. Just talk when you want to talk, before I lived with my partner we weren't texting the whole day as we both work and have lives but we'd check in on each other, do things like send memes we knew would make the other laugh etc. If you can't talk naturally and at ease, then it's a no go.

blutfink · 2024-12-06T03:37:50+00:00

This is not about you following bad advice. She used her words and you played some game you didn’t understand.

DoditoChiquito · 2024-12-06T19:24:18+00:00

Dont follow anyone. Dont play games dont follow a strategy. Unless all you want is take her to bed then ok otherwise its all BS. It sounds cliche but just be yourself. You will loose a lot of women in the way but the right one will stay. And you only need the right one anyway

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-12-05T22:08:23+00:00

He said that you shouldn’t double text,

Generally true and really just don't be super needy. If you are just talking to someone, they didn't respond to a bad text, then its better to double text because otherwise you will likely lose contact with her. Or maybe you are typing really fast and forgot to include everything in your first text so just do a part 2. Generally its better to wait before double texting rather than letting her go forever.

said that she needs to be the one to come to you most of the time,

This is generally true but "most" doesn't mean "nearly all". Also when you first meet her women tend to expect men to do most the the initiating especially when we are more invested. So at first men often carry the conversation and the woman starts doing more of the talking when she becomes invested.

said that there needs to be mystery.

True but there needs to be balance. Its very important to build comfort and investment too.

Something must’ve been right as she was double, triple texting me… initiating 100% of the time.

No because you were talking too little you were only attracting very needy women with anxious attachment issues. And chances are you get into this red pill stuff because you have your own attachment issues. Like attracts like.

Right up until she wasn’t and then she basically flipped and went mad at me because she was very hurt and upset.

Since she is so needy and you text so little you triggered her abandonment anxiety because she felt like if you cared about her you would initiate conversations with her sometimes.

Now I don’t know any more what to believe and what’s right and what isn’t

Relationships have a pattern of strong connection and positive emotions, and disagreement and space. When you have a life outside of the girl you naturally aren't super cligny. When you are being more authentic you are naturally not being super nice to her or agree with her all the time. When you have standards you naturally test and evaluate and aren't completely agreeable. And when you have friends and other women in your life you don't have too much time for her and needy for her.

The problem with the red pill is it only focuses on the negative part of this cycle and only the disagreement and space and ignores the positive connection. It also makes these blanket rules rather than being a natural result of being a healthy person with a life. Lastly red pill comes from this place of fear and anger toward women rather than chilling out and just relaxing and having fun.

Equivalent-Cat5414 · 2024-12-05T17:11:46+00:00

I used to also listen to Corey Wayne out of curiosity of what he’s teaching men! I think he gives mostly good advice but some of it is game-playing which can backfire like it did with you. I sometimes tried to play a little hard to get with guys I liked by waiting a few hours or the next day to message back, but waiting a few days just to try to get someone to like you more often does the opposite! However, that woman you described seems too insecure and clingy to wanting to be texting every single day and blocking you just for not responding so you dodged a bullet with her. So…just text when you can and want to.

Title	I don’t even know what’s red pill and what isnt any more
Author	Click4-2019
Upvotes	7
Comments	17
Date	December 5, 2024 4:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1h7dfyh/i_dont_even_know_whats_red_pill_and_what_isnt_any/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-dont-even-know-whats-red-pill-and-what-isnt-any.1537691 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537691

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