I expect the classic "next" replies to this but doubting myself and need to at least write it out and see if I am thinking correctly.

Been with LTR for 9 months total, dated for about 3 months then I dropped 2 plates and we become exclusive about 6 months ago. Things had been going very well for my first taste of a redpill style relationship.

She is from South America, moved to the US after college and has an excellent career in tech in a low profile manager position, not a big well known position in the company but makes a lot more than I do and I make 110k. (I can see that being an issue) Traditional latin upbringing and she believes in female roles with respect to cooking, cleaning, not drinking, she was raised Catholic with a strong male father. She was a virgin before her marriage, so I am her second We both have kids and are divorced (Her husband left her to pursue other female interests).

We met about 6 months after her marriage ended. She hadn't even been on more than one date and has kids pretty much full time, so not much opportunity for her to explore post marriage. Keep in mind we both have kids so this lifestyle is okay with me. We live 40 miles away each other but in a big city so traffic can be an hour or more. We see each other once a week at a minimum and 4-5 days on other weeks.

She had brought up issues with how my kids make it more stressful because the energy levels change with her kids. So it can feel like a hectic household when all together. I felt her pulling back when stressed about the kids and shutting me out a few times so I ended it a few weeks ago. About a week later we talked and we decided we were really happy with each other and had no other issues but need to figure out the dynamic with the kids.

Fast forward to last week. She tells me that while we were broken up she offered a male friend from out of town to stay with her for a week while he was doing some work in our city. He is truly her orbiter, they text everyday and she leaned on him during her divorce and still does. He is married but the last time he visited during her divorce he tried to kiss her and she said no. She said nothing else happened and he has been respectful ever since. So when she said he was sleeping there for a week, I said sounds good. Then followed up with, hey if he ends up staying at your house then we can end it right here. Not the best response but I felt the need to say something.

I don't think she would do anything, but I know AWALT. If I hold my ground I feel I am giving an ultimatum and that isn't my intention. I want her to realize I'll walk if he stays at her house but not come out and say choose him or me. That seems weak. How do I handle this?