"Just be sad with me"

Reptilian_Brain_420 · 2025-01-28T01:05:46+00:00

"If you need anything just ask. I'll be in the other room"

Yesyesnaaooo · 2025-01-28T06:40:25+00:00

So I just left a relationship like this last year.

Some people put it down to women wanting to vent and men trying to find solutions.

However, I believe that if you can't recognise the help someone is offering for what it is then they aren't right for you, and you aren't right for them.

Always remember some people literally just want you to be as emotional as they are, and if that isn't a place you want to go to then that's absolutely fine and that's a boundary you are allowed to draw for yourself.

However, a word of warning, If you feel like you never know what mental state you're going to be going home to, if you feel like it's really hard for your to do anything right and if you know in your heart you always try to do the right thing but you can't because you're always making 'mistakes'.

If you are having to endure long tirades for a simple wrong word.

Then you are being abused my friend.

Good luck bro. Hope it isn't that but if it is ... know that once you leave it actually begins to get better really really quickly.

Gagaddict · 2025-01-28T07:36:24+00:00

Feelings aren’t something you need to fix.

I understand where you’re coming from though. As men, we are taught to fix and figure it out and toughen up and just deal with it.

I think asking yourself a few questions might help.

Has she felt sad before, had a problem?

Did she solve it and figure it out after?

Do you think this situation is different?

What makes you feel you need to fix her problems?

Can you trust her to be her own person that is strong and can fix her own problems? Can you trust that she trusts you to ask for help when she needs it?

How does her asking to sit with her while she feels sad cause discomfort? Would you say you’re comfortable feeling sad yourself? When is the last time you felt sad and how did you respond to it?

Sea_Kick234 · 2025-01-28T10:34:03+00:00

I’ve seen a lot of advice for this. Open up communication before this happens and discuss the best way to approach this. What works for my relationship is a simple question. Do you want me to listen or to fix the problem? As men we are natural fixers when sometimes they just want to be validated and heard. This leads to another question to ask yourself. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? And that works for many situations. It’s saved me many times.

Kain2270 · 2025-01-28T01:11:08+00:00

I understand you want to help and that's great, but a lot of us just want to feel like we're being heard and understood. We already know what the solutions are, we've already put in the mental effort of how to logically accept things and move forward. A lot of us just need time and help processing our negative emotions and not feeling alone while we do it, and the best way to do that is just to listen to understand and not listen to respond.

failed_sperm · 2025-01-31T06:22:25+00:00

Mate, you are the most important person for you in the world. If it isn't suiting you, leave without apologies.

Title	"Just be sad with me"
Author	Randy_Starch
Upvotes	14
Comments	20
Date	January 28, 2025 12:42 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/1ibp406/just_be_sad_with_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/just-be-sad-with-me.1542334 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542334

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