Can someone please tell me a “on the brink of divorce but now everything is great” story?

sammyb1122 · 2025-02-09T04:25:11+00:00

I'm male, so delete this if it's not allowed. My wife and I got to the point on an issue where neither of us were willing to compromise any further, but couldn't go on with the status quo, and so seriously discussed divorce.

But in having a few heated, emotional, probably toxic conversations, where we put it all out there, we came to more fully understand where the other was coming from. Ie the deeper motivations behind the behaviours. That allowed us to find a new way forward, that was different to what we were both originally asking the other partner for, but still met both our needs to continue the relationship.

A year later and we are back to normal.

RockingtheRepublic · 2025-02-09T02:21:10+00:00

I was in the same boat. Time is what is helping smoothing things over. And I’m using that time to improve on myself little by little. Be a better listener. Understand that we’re not equal. I’ve been going through all the historical posts in this subreddit and trying to better myself everyday.

RuthsMom · 2025-02-09T02:35:13+00:00

There are lots of good stories like this on Laura Doyle’s podcast.

ActuallyASwordfish · 2025-02-09T10:45:33+00:00

I’ve never been on the brink and my relationship is fresh (5years total) but I do listen to dr. Laura’s deep dive podcast which I find helpful, and I always recommend her books. She narrates her own Proper Care and Feeding of husbands and I NEVER get tired of listening to it! I wish she narrated her other books because her voice/delivery is so so great.

Not everything she says in podcast is perfect but I’ve really never found her advice to be wrong so far. I’m sure you’ve already give it a shot but if you haven’t I’d listen to it.

Just remember that it’s you and him vs the issue, not vs each other

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HURTz_56 · 2025-02-09T10:10:30+00:00

I don't know how much of this you know already or are already working on, if this is the problem but..

One thing that makes any relationship harder is taking things too personally. ie If you know that a person loves you, and you don't like the way they behave in certain situations, are feeling un-loved or un-seen etc. The thing that we have to work on is our own anxiousness about it. We have to work on accepting that this is the way that person is and that they don't mean it as a direct insult or that they don't love you, this is a habit they have and those are very hard to break. It can feel miserable at the time, but if there is no deceit in it, if it's honestly just the way they are, we have to do some work on ourselves and our own hearts to accept that their love style or communication style is different from our own and try not to let it hurt our feelings, but have a sense of humour about it or acceptance.

It can be particularly difficult and frustrating when their behaviour is affecting a 3d party and they are the ones complaining to you about your partner's behaviour. For me this causes a real rush of anxiety because I feel that my partner is not just letting me down, but everyone else too, and that is when I feel I can no longer accept their behaviour, because it's not just me it's affecting. And I have to confront them about it.

AutoModerator · 2025-02-09T02:08:13+00:00

Title: Can someone please tell me a “on the brink of divorce but now everything is great” story?

Author _johnfketamine

Full text: That’s where I am. I am DESPERATE to stay together. There are so many great things going on for us right now after getting through years of some really hard stuff, including a life changing accident. He won’t do therapy, he wants to work it out ourselves. He’s my best friend. I love him so much.

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angelicasinensis · 2025-02-09T16:55:46+00:00

Yes, kind of for us. Ours was money stress. My husband couldn't provide due to various circumstances and I was at my wits end. I knew it wasn't his fault, but it still was hard not feeling provided for and also feeling sad about our money problems. We renegotiated our roles and that is what saved our marriage. My husband is now a SAHD and I am in school, which fixed our money issues. I am glad we worked it out because we have 3 kids and our marriage is overall pretty good.

tornteddie · 2025-02-12T05:27:53+00:00

The surrendered wife by Laura Doyle

Title	Can someone please tell me a “on the brink of divorce but now everything is great” story?
Author	_johnfketamine
Upvotes	9
Comments	12
Date	February 9, 2025 2:08 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1il42h2/can_someone_please_tell_me_a_on_the_brink_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/can-someone-please-tell-me-a-on-the-brink-of.1543345 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543345

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