Have You Had THAT Conversation?

moonlitbutterfly117 · 2025-02-14T23:25:52+00:00

I used to straight up put it in my dating profile. I said that I LOVED provider types. I painted a picture of the lifestyle I wanted to live. I said I wanted to be “that little lady in her own cozy home, baking pies in a sundress for her husband and children”. Said it was my dream, so that anyone with a shared dream could find me. And I brought it up within the first couple of dates.

Some people think that’s crazy, but to me, it was just a part of my vetting process. And it made it faster. I always made it clear that it wasn’t about rushing to the finish line, but about sharing the same vision, values, and goals. That those things were very important to me.

Plus, I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time or resources. I wasn’t going to go even on a first date with someone who wasn’t a real prospect. Someone I couldn’t see things potentially working out with. Let alone risk being months in, and having us find out we didn’t want the same things. Then again, I was starting over in dating at 30.

roxelay · 2025-02-14T02:51:50+00:00

Very good point. I'm not an expert and I'm pretty new to more committed relationships, but I've read a few books over the past two years about relationships in general, and every single one of them mentions this. So yeah, I totally agree that preferences on lifestyle, especially conversations about kids, are essential and should happen within the first three months.

I love when people in this community share what they've learned with others here. Thank you! 🙏

AutoModerator · 2025-02-13T22:48:36+00:00

Title: Have You Had THAT Conversation?

Author Automatic-Praline568

Full text: My (F, 28) LTR (M, 27) and I recently talked hard timelines for our family goals. (Having children, buying a house, money, etc.) The conversation we had makes me really glad conversations similar to this have happened throughout our dating period because the conversation of me being a SAHW/SAHM isn't a shock as we go into marriage soon.

I told him long before we reached 1 year that raising our children will always be my first priority. How being a mother has been my dream and making a home is where I'm happiest. He was raised in a traditional home and respects traditional values so he had no issue with this.

There was definetley a "Well-p I'm gonna have to work my [tooshie] off in these next years before we have kids." Which is totally valid LOL. One income households are a navigating journey, but we believe we can do it. (I have a friend who is a SAHW/SAHM and shares advice with me).

My point is, as we are moving to marriage and renting a place together soon, he knows exactly what our plan is. He has been working towards where he is now with six figure potential and I have been working to build up investments and savings to sit on for when we get to that point.

My point is: For you aspiring homemakers and SAHW/SAHM have you talked to your significant other about this? If you're over 1 year into your relationship it's long due time in my opinion. If a man wants him and his wife to work, or doesn't want to be married at all... this is something you should know before sinking 2.5 years of your life (of your YOUTH) into a relationship.

Hint: that's what happened in my previous relationship.

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Ok-Cry8418 · 2025-03-02T19:42:55+00:00

uh. it’s when he wants, give he follows Christ. it’s male nature to reproduce and procreate. it’s also a territorial thing for men to “knock up” their women so to speak

Pixidee · 2025-02-14T04:25:45+00:00

No desire to be a STAHM/STAHW but I agree those conversations need to happen early on. My boyfriend and I don’t want children, and he knows I want to be wife one day. We discussed that probably within the first few weeks of dating.

Title	Have You Had THAT Conversation?
Author	Automatic-Praline568
Upvotes	16
Comments	10
Date	February 13, 2025 10:48 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1iovwvu/have_you_had_that_conversation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/have-you-had-that-conversation.1543803 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543803

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