I feel guilty for feeling depressed

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2025-04-01T19:12:40+00:00

You go through cycles, feel your feelings then pick yourself up when you’re done.

BlueHarvest17 · 2025-04-01T00:23:59+00:00

Objectively you should feel sad and depressed if you're sad and depressed. It's normal and natural in a situation like ours. You lost 50% of time with your kids...that alone would do it. You lost the future you thought you've have, the life you thought you were living. It's a lot.

That doesn't mean you don't have good things. You do. But you can also have low self-esteem because of divorce and have a good job and a house.

You have to go through a period of grief and reinvention, and that's HARD. It sucks. Even the best possible outcome sucks compared to what we all had (or thought we had, or wanted).

Don't add guilt on top of that. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You feel gutted because your old life was gutted and your new one hasn't fully begun yet.

Give yourself some time and grace. These feeling are normal and natural. It's HARD work to process this al and get though it. Hardest thing ever.

It helps to let yourself be sad when you're sad, or mad when you're mad. That's how to let your brain process those emotions.

If you don't get exercise...start getting exercise. Push yourself. The endorphins will help you. Try to find time to get outside and get into nature. See your friends. Plan NEW things to do that you haven't done before.

This stuff sucks and it's hard and we keep going day by day because, even though it might not seem like it now, one day this will just be chapter in our lives and the rest of the book is still to be written.

MartyOberyn · 2025-03-31T22:52:11+00:00

I don’t have a ton of help to provide. I just know when I posted my own story each time someone commented I felt a little heard. I’m three months out and this week has been horrible for no discernible reason, while the week before I was feeling somewhat okay but, again, for seemingly no reason.

My wife turned into a completely different person at the end of our marriage. I did everything to try and hold it together and she ignored all of it and filed. I should be filled with so much relief, but instead I’ve been feeling like crap and missing everything. And, like you, I feel guilty for feeling depressed despite knowing that objectively I’m better off without her, at least the person she turned out to be.

So yeah man I feel fucking gutted. It makes no sense. If you told any third party what she put me through they would undoubtedly say “thank god you’re done with that situation right?”

I think maybe that’s part of the problem? On top of just feeling sad, in situations like ours we’re also upset THAT we’re sad.

Anyway I have to believe it gets better. I don’t know why, but I guess I do believe it. We’ll be okay, the sadness will fade, and we’ll both be better off.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-03-31T21:49:57+00:00

Everyone handles it differently. I came out on top with custody and finances but I'm extremely bitter and angry at my ex for cheating and breaking the family.

I think the good part is you acknowledge you feel this and it's completely normal. We all process it on our own set timeline.

alifeofpeace · 2025-03-31T21:04:26+00:00

You’re allowed to feel these things man. Divorce is fucking hard. It’s a loss of so much. ESPECIALLY with kids. Don’t let anyone tell you how you’re supposed to feel. Give yourself grace man you’ve been through hell.

LearnGrowExist · 2025-03-31T20:30:44+00:00

All the time. And I’ve also heard horror stories so much worse than mine. No need to compare, OP. It fucking sucks, and honestly, at least in my own estimation, there truly isn’t a feeling much worse… I have been “healing” and yet, even today, one small irrelevant text or memory or realization takes me right back to that gut kick of feeling worthless and destroyed all over again. They say time heals all wounds, but I’m not sure it does. I think we just learn to experience them better. So here’s to a better tomorrow.

Title	I feel guilty for feeling depressed
Author	SadDivorceName
Upvotes	12
Comments	8
Date	March 31, 2025 8:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1joczvt/i_feel_guilty_for_feeling_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-feel-guilty-for-feeling-depressed.1548255 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548255

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