Why would a man who is separated but cohabitating with his ex retreat from dating me? Divorce proceedings are in progress and he has 2 young kids…

S_Squared_design · 2025-04-01T16:03:16+00:00

As someone who is almost divorced, next week, separated and cohabitating with my STBXW and our young child. He is probably lonely AF, a total emotional mess that was looking for some from of a connection with a person that is not his stbx but rationality got the better of him and he stopped going further.

This was me a few months ago and with the advice of friends and my therapist retreated out of the dating pool and focused on existing friendships and activities until I am in a position to be living independently. Now I can't speak for them but that was my experience and why he might have ghosted or retreated from dating you.

Lonely_Panda4322 · 2025-04-01T15:46:49+00:00

He can completely date and do whatever he wants to do at this point. Divorce has been filed, he ain’t going back…so if you like him, go for him. He’s completely at liberty to do whatever she wants to do.

Grafixx5 · 2025-04-01T13:55:53+00:00

OK, so I’m gonna tell you exactly how I was told by a lawyer that I used to have representing me during my divorce. My soon-to-be ex filed for divorce from me. I know that she is having an affair. I told my lawyer that I wanted to have or hire a private eye to catch her that way we can flip the divorce into an at fault divorce The lawyer told me don’t bother because the judge won’t see it that way because they will say that you two are separated and going through divorce proceedings so it doesn’t really matter. So I told my lawyer so she could’ve said she have an affair or cheat on me even though she filed for a divorce and is sleeping with another man but the divorce decree is not legally signed off by a judge, as we are actually divorced and separated? The lawyer said yes, and I replied to my lawyer and said so then I can go out and start dating women or be on Tinder and start sleeping around and that’s perfectly fine then? And my lawyer turned to me and the response was Well that’s not what I’m saying and I wouldn’t suggest that. And I turned to my lawyer and I said, but that’s what you’re saying is OK for her so if it’s OK for her then why would it not be OK for me because it’s the same situation. Because if I was doing it and she hired a private investigator, why would the judge not see it in the same manner? Am my lawyer reiterated again I would suggest that you do not do that. I would suggest that you do not go out and start dating anybody or start putting Feelers out there on site such as Tinder or any type of dating applications or website or start sleeping with people because it’s not appropriate. And again I asked her why is it OK if she does it and that the judge would throw it out and say it doesn’t matter because you two are separated or going through divorce proceedings but it’s not OK for me. It does not make sense. And again the only thing he said was I do not suggest that you do that. So kind of a double standard with courts the way I see it. It’s OK for the girls to do it, but it’s not OK for them to do it. It’s kind of the same thing with courts as far as custody and child support and everything else. The guy can prove a reasonable doubt that the wife or soon-to-be ex-wife or baby mama, you want to look at it Could be a druggie and dead be and whatever else you wanna say and have proof beyond a reasonable doubt of all that and they’ll still give custody to the mom I’ve seen it happen. My friend in Pittsburgh had that happen with his ex, and they awarded custody to the mother, even though she was abusive to the kids she was an alcoholic she was a drug addictand he had proof of all this and the court still gave the wife or Ex-Wife custody to the two of $1600 per month per kid

a_day_at_a_timee · 2025-04-01T13:32:45+00:00

Let’s say it loud for the women in the back…

Do not date men who are not fully divorced. Do not sleep with men who are still married. Do not date men who are still living with their wife.

justAnAccount5432 · 2025-04-01T12:49:43+00:00

??? Cause he’s still in the emotionally messy phase of separation and it’s complicated.

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