Why Real Men Don’t Seek Validation

World-Three · 2025-04-13T11:56:13+00:00

If we had structures... Which is validating in and of itself.

Think like this. In older times, the family structure and social groups existed that reinforced your opinions. What hard work means, the importance of a family, being faithful and loyal to your spouse, and raising your children to be greater than you. There were bad things too. Racism sexism etc. Those things only were allowed to exist because the family allowed it, or even believed it and so did their peers.

Those structural things allowed people to resist everything because their princess was essentially in another castle. Even if everyone went nuts, as long as the family structure remained strong, none of it mattered.

Without family structure, people are encouraged to appeal to everyone. If you're not right, you're wrong, if people you want think you're bad, you're bad. Now things like school, television, the radio, social media, etc are all telling you it's not enough. Your family got divorced, your partner left you, took your kid, you're not connected to anyone. All the values you were raised to sustain have shattered from beneath your feet. Everything you amount to is almost completely judged before you speak.

How tall are you, how do you walk, how do you stand, dress, smell, how well are you groomed, what race are you, are you in shape. You haven't opened your mouth yet and you've been graded. As a matter of fact they can't wait for you to open your mouth because they want to see your teeth, check your breath, and hear how you sound.

And what does any of that have to do with who you are? Nothing. It's harmful but it's also how we've come to judge each other because we have no value in each other aside from likes, engagement, retention, and monetary gain. Like comment subscribe, become a member today. I purposefully never bring up friends because... What friends!? We've turned friends into followers and call people who want to be our friends parasocial... We fucked up.

Validation is basically the honey tree and we're Winnie the Pooh climbing and getting stung to chase it. Even if we forget everything, honey is still the most important.

How much of this would mean anything if we had a strong family? Someone else has to tell me because I don't know either.

corporate_robot_dude · 2025-04-13T13:24:25+00:00

In today's society it takes ALOT of discipline to not give into the chase of validation.

Quarto6 · 2025-04-13T17:14:26+00:00

The phrase "real men..." drips with contempt. Why are you being so hateful?

TabulaRasa5678 · 2025-04-13T17:39:42+00:00

I'm older and I don't give one shit what people think of me. I don't know how I ever got this mindset and quite frankly, I don't ever think of it. Past girlfriends have called me an adrenaline junkie for being a volunteer interior firefighter. My crazy friends call me crazy for running into burning buildings... for free.

For shits 'n giggles, when this "lack of testosterone" became an issue, I had mine checked and the doctor told me that I don't ever have to worry about that problem.

I'd like to say that it's a generational issue, but I've seen some older guys, not being so manly. All of the men in my circle are older and don't have that problem, but we don't watch the internet 14 hours a day, either.

I have a lot of conjecture about it, but I've rambled enough.

grimpaaj · 2025-04-13T22:26:49+00:00

Because peace doesn't need to be validated it just is and we live in it's bliss

secret179 · 2025-04-14T10:42:07+00:00

What kind of bullshit is that? Men are not human in their psychology? And they are divided in Real man and pussies who deserve the hate?

WhereProgressIsMade · 2025-04-14T20:34:19+00:00

This author misunderstands the term alpha. Most of the things she lists as positives I would say an alpha would possess. In the end it just seems like another woman thinking she gets to define masculinity, which I find very arrogant.

tilldeathdoiparty · 2025-04-14T21:26:43+00:00

How about we stop labelling ‘real men’ with anything regardless of what the function is, that is something this sub should be trying for, the elimination of that mentality

CBDcloud · 2025-04-15T17:07:56+00:00

The stoic philosopher, Emperor Marcus Aurelius taught us how to break free of the validation syndrome. It is a teaching that is over 1,900 years old.

Primary_Reply8635 · 2025-04-24T22:56:27+00:00

Oh I seek it, I like it, I'm allowed to revel in admiration.

Doesnt mean I need it though. I can be my own anchor.

Thats what I think secure masculinity looks like to me anyway.

Security in masculinity is knowing no one else can provide for you a sense of safety comfort and security, these are things you give yourself through hard work. It's not fair. It's shit we have to struggle so much, but it's what it is.

Title	Why Real Men Don’t Seek Validation
Author	Mobile-Drama6516
Upvotes	43
Comments	13
Date	April 13, 2025 11:15 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1jy5ce1/why_real_men_dont_seek_validation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-real-men-dont-seek-validation.1549436 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549436

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